Hush Little Baby
by Bexta03
Summary: Bella is an orphan. Her little sister Alice is adopted. She is alone and abused all the time. She meets the Cullens while in hospital. Will they finally bring the happiness she deserves? Or will her bad luck come back for her and her new family? AH OCC
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note:  
Disclaimer - I do not own Twilight, or any of its series. It belongs to Stephanie Myer... as we all know.**

**I apologise for bad spelling and gramma... I cannot help it.  
I hope this is really good, and you enjoy it as much as I have enjoyed writting it! **

**Now... to the story!!**

Chapter one

"Bella, honey, you stay right here" My mother, Melissa, ordered me, pushing me into a closet. She then handed me Alice, my 2 year old sister. Alice started crying.

"You stay right here and you old onto Ali, don't let her go and don't you leave this closet for anyone" She pleaded with me.

"What's going on?" I asked, tears falling.

She leant down and hugged me tightly before pulling away my mother stared at me with tears falling past her cheeks. "Your getting so big, 7 years old, my Isabella, you will be a great person. I love you, please tell Alice, when she is old enough, that I love her as well" She said, kissing my cheek. Then she placed a photo of us three in my hand and then closed the door.

I heard a lock click closed and then silence, except for her sobbing. Then her soft footsteps walking away.

Alice's sobbing stopped and then she looked up at me with her big brown eyes. "Bwella?" She asked, "Mama?"

I let one more tear fall, and then I wiped my face and then I wiped Alice's own cheeks "Its okay Ali, Mama has to go away for a while, but I'll look after you" I promised her.

I took a deep shaky breath.

_Hush, little baby, don't say a word,_  
_Bella's going to buy you a mockingbird._

_If that mockingbird won't sing,_  
_Bella's going to buy you a diamond ring._

_If that diamond ring turns brass,_  
_Bella's going to buy you a looking glass._

_If that looking glass gets broke,_  
_Bella's going to buy you a billy goat._

_If that billy goat won't pull,_  
_Bella's going to buy you a cart and bull._

_If that cart and bull turn over,_  
_Bella's going to buy you a dog named Rover._

_If that dog named Rover won't bark,_  
_Bella's going to buy you a horse and cart._

_If that horse and cart fall down,_  
_You'll still be the sweetest little girl in town._

_So hush little baby, don't be scared,_

_Bella's always going to be right here_

I sung the song I knew by heart, the one that my mummy always sang to me. Alice clung to me and she started crying again.

"BITCH!" we both heard it and we both dreaded it. It was the voice of Daddy.

Alice shook "Daddy's home" She whispered. It was eerie, a small 2 year old saying 'Daddy's home' with utter fear.

We heard banging "Where are my children bitch?" He said loudly.

I heard a large thud, shaking the small house we were in. "They are of no concern to you Kevin, I am putting my foot down! You are not welcome here any more"

I swallowed and held Alice closer, my hand pressing down on her ear. Hoping she will not hear any of this.

"Fucker! How dare you" he screamed "I will kill you before you take away my family"

I let go of Alice for a moment, turning over a box of shoes and the standing on that to reach the shelf above me. I felt around for what I was looking for, something I knew was here because I had seen Daddy put it here, but he didn't know I knew where it was. And I had forgotten it was here until now.

My small hand wrapped around the handle and I pulled it down, the gun. I had no idea what it was called, considering I was only 7. But I pulled it down and cradled it with my other hand. Alice stared at it as well. "Bwella?..." Even she knew the danger of this.

We listened carefully. The banging had increased now and there was now screaming. We knew who was screaming.

"You will never take away my family. I will always find my girls. Always. And you, Melissa, will now be out of the picture" Daddy said to Mummy.

Then there was a large bang and someone sounding as if they couldn't breathe, like the time Daddy held my head under water while I was taking a bath.

Once all the sounds stopped, we could hear someone breathing, heavily. I knew who it was, and it was not the person we wanted.

"Bwella?" Alice whispered, clutching tighter.

I moved her deeper into the closet. "You stay here, be very quiet." I said, pushing some clothes in front of her, and then the overturned box so she was hidden from view. "I love you" I whispered, but so she couldn't hear, I didn't want to make her scared.

I heard footsteps coming closer and closer to the closet door, and then it was ripped open and the light poured in. But blocking half that light, was my father. Kevin Swan. The man I have been terrified of since the moment I could understand that word. "Daddy" I whispered. My hands holding the gun behind my back. Shaking in fear.

"Bella, come right here" He said, pulling me by my arm. I was yanked forward, the gun still hiding behind me.

"Follow me, let me show you what happens if you disobey me" He said angrily, walking toward our kitchen.

A small bubble of fear broke in my stomach and the butterflies began to dance. I crept behind him, not wanting to, but having no choice but to follow him.  
What I saw in the kitchen, leaves me silenced. My once pretty mother now barely had a face that I could recognise. The blood was... everywhere... there was so much. Her arms and legs laid useless in the bloody pool beside her. I let a small sound escape me before I vomited beside the redness.

My father did not like my fear, or vomit. "Disgusting. I can't live with a piece of trash like you, come here. I will make it quick" He said, pulling out a knife the size of my leg.

"No" I pleaded, tears falling. I backed away.

He stepped closer and grabbed my hair. "no? You do not disobey me." Then he cut off my hair, laughing hysterical.

"No Daddy, please" I cried as the knife came to my chest.

I couldn't think, my heartbeat was loud in my ears as I pulled my arms in front of me, and then pulling down hard on the trigger. Daddy looked shocked, he looked like he was in pain. He fell forward and his knife cut through my arm, a long gash opening me up, my own blood pooling out of my cut.

I dropped the gun to the floor and then collapsed onto my knees. I vomited again.

"Bwella?" My little sister asked. I saw her crawling toward the door.

I shook my head and got up, going over to her. I went and took her hand, pulling her toward the door, only stopping to pick up a blanket on the couch, wrapping it around her. Then we went outside.  
I knocked on the door to our neighbour and waited.

A small lady answered, looking down at me, "Oh, Oh my... oh my god!" She said breathlessly. "What has happened?"

"we need help" I whispered, my voice raspy.

She nodded and stepped aside, I had put my arm inside my jacket, hiding it from view.  
I heard the lady talking on the phone to the ambulance service, while me and Alice sat on the couch. Alice was falling asleep.

I must have dozed off because the next thing I know, someone is trying to get my attention.

"Honey? Are you hurt? Is either you or your sister hurt?"

I nodded.

"Who, where? Honey? What's your name?"  
"Bella" I whispered. Then I pulled up my sleeve, showing the man my arm. Then there was blackness. But I still briefly felt the photo, that was clutched tightly in my hand.

It seemed to get lighter, and the sounds around me grew louder. Something was beeping. The beeping was annoying and it suddenly reminded me of Alice, who could also be annoying sometimes. Oh no.. Alice!

I tired to sit up, but failed, so instead, I opened my eyes to the brightly lit room. "ALICE?" I called out.

no... he didn't get her?! She was in the closet... "Alice? Please"

I started crying. And repeating over and over "Not her"

"Bella? Honey?" A voice said, dragging me out of my fit. "Honey, your sister is safe."  
That stopped me. "Where is she?" I asked.

The lady in the nurses uniform started fiddling with my medicine, she smiled at my worry. "Alice is fine, she is in the orphanage, you will probably be moved there tonight, after the doctor discharges you."

I nodded and she left.

I cuddled deeper into my bed, now knowing Alice is somewhere almost safe, I let myself relax and fall asleep.

"Bella, honey, you have been discharged, the career is here to take you back to the orphanage where you sister is." The nurse from before told me, helping me sit up and get changed into some jeans and a t-shirt.

I pulled on some runners and then looked at myself in the mirror quickly. I was small with brown hair that had been cut off brutally by a knife from my father. I smoothed it down effortlessly before following the lady outside towards the unknown.  
I was now an orphan.

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**Please Read and Review.  
I want at least a few reviews, before i put up the next chapter. I want to know what you think? or what you think i could do better.**

**PLease note, i have already written alot of this story, so the quicker you review, the quicker i can post another chapter ;)**

**3 Bexta**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for reviewing everyone! It means alot. :) Hope your begining to like the story!**

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Chapter two

"Bwella" I heard someone screaming in the other room. A lady came out of the room clearly distressed.  
"That girl has not silenced since the minute she arrived. Who is Bella?!" The lady said, to Jackie, the lady who drove me here.

"This is Bella, there sisters" Jackie explained.

Jackie pushed me forward, causing me to slightly drop my backpack. I look up at this lady who has a stern, angry expression. "That is your sister?" She asks, pointing to the door.

"NOOO! I want BELLA" I heard Alice scream again, followed by an onslaught of cries and sobs.

I nodded.  
"Good, she is your responsibility now. Go get her quickly and then I will show you to your bed" The lady said.

I nodded and turned to thank Jackie, but she was gone.

I entered the room to find Alice in a crib, her little cheeks flushed red, her eyes dark with anger and sadness. She must have seen the door open because she had moved backwards, sobbing.

When I got closer, I noticed a bruise on her cheek. That was not there before.

The moment she saw me, she froze, her tense body immediately relaxed and she stood up for me to get her out.

"Alice" I mumbled, holding her close.

"You came back" She whispered, rubbing her face against mine.

I awkwardly carried her, my bag and then her bag out into the hallway, it was very hard, for my small, 7 year old frame.  
"My name is Mrs. Tailor and you will call me by that name only. Follow me now" She said angrily.

I frowned, putting Alice beside me while I grabbed her hand, following Mrs. Tailor down the dark, damp hallway.

She opened the door to a room of beds, there must be about 20 of them all in rows, squished together. She points to one "This is yours. Your sharing" She said, "Put your stuff in that box at the end and then go down to the play room. There you will wait until dinner"  
Then she left.

I placed our few clothes in the box and then turned to our bed, the small thing we now call ours. I saw Alice looking at it too and then she looked back at me. "Its okay Ali" I whisper "At least where together" I try to comfort her, but I can't help the small tears working there way through my eyes. I took her hand and then lead her down to the 'play room'.

The play room wasn't a 'play' room. It was a grey room with one couch against one wall, a empty bookshelf on the other and then a window showing into the grass-less backyard. There was no toys or games. Just children sitting, talking quietly, they seemed to be on a constant lookout for trouble.

_2 years later_

"BELLA SWAN" Mrs. Tailor screamed, pointing at me.

I drop the ball I had been throwing and stared. Shit. What have I done. She begins to come forward and I look for my Alice, wanting her to be safe.

I see my 4 year old sister sitting next to another girl, her hands tight in her grey dress. "Sorry" She mouths, a tear falling. She begins to get up, probably coming over, but I shake my head.

I frown but turn back to Mrs Tailor.  
"Bella. Did you do this?" She asks, throwing the sheet at me. It was stained yellow.  
"Is it my sheet?" I asked.

Mrs Tailor was furious. "Of course its your sheet! It was from your bed"  
I thought back, I don't remember wetting the bed. Then I remembered Alice getting up later than me this morning. Oh! Thats why she said sorry.

I hung my head "Yes, I did that" I mumbled.

She laughed before pushing me to the ground. "You will clean this and then everyone else's bedding" She ordered.

I nodded, praying this would be the only punishment. But I was wrong.

The 16 children, including Alice, who lived here had gathered around. I smiled weakly at my sister as I went to make my way to the bedroom, but didn't get far.

A hard, sharp slap hit me across the face, sending me flying sidewards. "Get up" Mrs. Tailor ordered.

I did, because I didn't want to make things worse. "Your are filthy" She said angrily, before hitting my chest with a stick. Yes, she had found a branch.  
I doubled over in pain, wheezing for breath.

"Go and clean, then stay in your room for the rest of the night. No supper for you" She said angrily.

I ran off and then quickly completed my task. Stripping everyone's beds, putting them through the washer and then getting the only other set of sheets and re-making them all. Then I hung out all 16 sheets.

Once that was all done, after about 3 hours. I collapsed onto my bed, coughing violently from the cold. Shit, I can't get sick.

"Bella?" I heard my sister mumble beside my ear.  
I woke up instantly, after sleeping for two years always on guard, I had learnt to be half awake. "What's wrong?" I asked, automatically.

She climbed up and handed me a napkin. In it was a role.

I shook my head at her. We only got a small bowl of white rice and a bread role for supper. It is important for her to eat, but I didn't complain, knowing that she wouldn't let me give it back to her.

Once I had finished, I was sure to hide the napkin before pulling her against me and hugging her, keeping both of us warm.

The next day, was adoption day. Well, potential adoption day. We all sat in the mess and talked to adults who came to look at us. It made me feel like an animal.  
We all sat on different tables, small ones. I kissed Alice on the cheek, whispering that I loved her. For some reason, I felt like I was going to loose her.  
She smiled before sitting down at her table. "I love you too Bella" She said simply, before turning to smile at Mrs. Tailor, who was glaring at me.

I sat at my table and slumped in my seat, watching all the adults come in and sit at a table, except for mine.  
I was the furthest away, and no one ever looked over at this direction. My head shot up though, when a couple sat down on Alice's table.

Oh no.

She stared at me, silently asking if this was okay.

I swallowed my own fear of being left alone and nodded. The adults, they looked okay. The woman was a motherly looking lady with caramel hair, and the man was a blonde haired person, who looked like a movie star. I smiled at her, wanting her to get out of here.

They talked, but unfortunately I couldn't hear what they were saying. I watched though, and was surprised when Alice pointed to me.

The lady frowned sadly, then whispered something in the man's ear.

She then came over and sat down. I saw Mrs. Tailor move awkwardly. She knew I had a bruise.

"Hello dear" The lady said "I am Esme, Alice says your her sister"  
I nodded.  
"What's your name honey?"

"Bella" I said simply.

She frowned at my cheek "Where did you get that?"  
I shrugged "I fell over while playing outside" I lied.

She smiled, seeming to accept my lie.

She nodded sadly "Well, your sister is beautiful honey, and we want to adopt her"

My mouth opened from shock. Why was she telling me this?  
"The reason I am speaking to you is because, unfortunately, we already have two boys at home, one of them is 9, we don't want to make him feel threatened by adopting someone his own age. So, we can't take you as well" She explained, looking sincerely upset. "We want to know if you'll let us take Alice. We promise that she will be happy with us. We will never hurt her. And when the time comes, you may visit her as much as you like"

Tears began to form.  
"What do you say?" She asked, looking back at Alice.

This made me look back as well. She was laughing as the man told her something funny, then he tickled her. She let her head fall back and laughed and squirmed. I had never seen her so happy.

Her eyes met mine and in that instant, I knew my answer. Her smile disappeared but her eyes, her big brown eyes stayed bright and happy.

I turned back to Esme and nodded "I want her to be happy" I whispered. Although the words killed me.

Esme smiled brightly "Thank you dear, I know that must be hard. We promise to take good care of her. And when you get your own family, you give us a ring" She said, handing me a piece of paper with her number.

I looked at it and then clutched it tightly. "Can I say goodbye?" I whispered, tears threatening to fall.  
I wiped them, determined not to let her see me sad.

Esme nodded and stood, motioning for me to come too.  
"Alice, honey, your sister has said that she wants you to be adopted" Esme said to her.

Alice's eyes widened but rested on me. I nodded and she flung herself at me. "I'll never forget you" She whispered.

I took the piece of paper out of my pocket. Something that I have not left for the past 2 years. "I want you to have this" I said, pressing it into her hand.

She stared at it with shock. It was a faded, torn, creased photo of myself, her and our mother. Mummy was cradling Alice and I was sitting behind our mother, one arm of mine was around her neck and the other was holding Alice's hand. We were all smiling, we were all happy.

"Are you sure?" She whispered.  
I nodded "I want you to remember mum, you barely do and with this, the picture will help you."

She hugged me again and I hugged her back. Then, Mrs. Tailor came over.

"If you will follow me" She said, nicely. She needed to keep up appearances.

Esme and her husband stood, then they waited, looking back at there new daughter. My old sister.

She stared at me before kissing my cheek. "Goodbye Bella. I'll always love you" She began to let tears fall.  
I didn't know what to do. So I wrapped my arms around her and then whispered "So hush little baby, don't you cry, It's time I came and said goodbye".

She immediately recognised it as part of the nursery rhyme I sang to her every night. Then I saw panic in her eyes "Who will sing to me"  
I saw the adults eyes sadden. "Your new mummy and daddy will. You can teach them the song, and then every night, you can think of me as they sing it"

She nodded and then hugged me once more.  
"Don't look back Ali, just walk out that door" I said sternly, knowing if she did look back to me, I wouldn't be able to let her go.  
She sniffed before taking Esme's hand and walking out of the door.

I sat down at her table and then covered my head with my hands. There, I cried.

I don't remember being woken up, or being moved to my own room. Mrs. Tailor didn't do it, because she wouldn't be so nice. I sat up in bed and found everyone still asleep. It must be really early, or really late. I made a count head. 13. That means a total of 3 kids left yesterday, including Alice.

Simon is gone, making me now the oldest here and so is Kira, Alice's friend. I prayed silently that the three of them, my sister especially, all got to a good home.

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**Review please, you'll cheer me up.**

**:)**

**~Bexta**


	3. Chapter 3

**This one almost made me cry :( Poor poor Bella, when will it end?**

**Hope you enjoy

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Chapter three

_4 years later_

"Fucking Hell Bella, get out of my way" Mrs. Tailor screamed at me, I ducked from the light smashing above me and then ran the opposite way. This was getting out of hand.

Today is fucking September the 13. My 13th birthday. I dodged another plate crashing at me, and then turned to Mrs. Tailor, she had just picked up a mug and was about to chuck it at me again. Apparently, the way I wash dishes is wrong. "Stop fucking throwing things at me!" I screamed. This was fucking pointless, everything about this place was stupid! How the hell did I wash the plates wrong?

She stopped. All the children stopped. Everything seemed to have stopped. Then I realised what had happened. I swore. First no no. I talked back. Second no no. And I talked back to Mrs. Tailor. Third no no and definitely a death sentence.

Her face turned to rage, her eyes squished up, like she was thinking really hard. Her mouth turned into a straighter line. Her cheeks went pink and her hands went into fists. This was bad.

I bolted out of the room and then continued down the hall. I knew she was following. I also knew she would not give up.

I came to the end of the hallway. Shit shit shit! I turned and found her laughing. "No where to run Isabella" She sneered.

I thought for a moment before running straight at her. She panicked but caught herself just in time to grab my arm. Her nails became blood red as they dug into my pale skin. I cried out in pain and then turned and hit her. Hard. She let go and held her face, swearing at me.

I took that chance and continued to escape. I left the house and then continued down the yard toward the gate. It was tall, with the wire above it with spikes. Seriously, its like a prison.

I turned back to see her following me still, this time, I saw a baseball bat. What the hell?!

I panicked again, and shoved one foot in the wire fence and then another, then my hands, then I began to climb.

I made it to the top and then carefully dodged the wire. The gate to let her out was on the other side of the property, so she wasn't going to be able to get around here in time to catch me. I felt a flicker of hope.

But that died out the moment she reached the fence. She didn't climb, instead, she began to shake it furiously. "You" Shake "Get" Shake "Down" Shake "This" Shake "Instant" Shake.

I held on for dear life and just as I thought I had made it through her shaking, my hands slip. I grab back to the fence, but get the wire spikes. They pierce through my hands. I screamed as I saw the spikes come out through the other side of my hand. How the hell are they so pointy? How can it come through the other side?!

I let go, automatically, and fell backwards. Shit. This is how people break there backs.

The fall seemed to go on forever, I instantly saw everything flash before me. My mother, father, blood, dead, the orphanage, the beatings, Alice leaving, more beatings, me growing, me missing Alice, me running, me crying. Finally, it settled on something I did right. Alice. I let her go and made her have a happy life. Her four year old face smiles in my mind.

I didn't get to scream. Instead, I hit the floor with a thud and I chocked out blood. Mrs. Tailor looked petrified. "Shit" I heard her whisper.

My mind began to close as the red washed over me. The smiling face of a four year old Alice blurred and I briefly tried to picture her has a 8 year old. Did she look like me? Was her hair long or short? Was her last name still Swan? None of my questions of my sister were answered, because at that moment, my eyes fluttered closed, the pain began to leave by my toes and I began to fall into a deep sleep.

A small tear ran down my face.

"What's her name?" Someone said quietly.

Another voice murmured "Isabella Swan. She was found outside of the fence. You know that orphanage that was abandoned by the owner, all the kids left there by themselves. We'll, we believe she was the reason the landlord left them all. She was on the floor beside the fence. Blood was found on the top of the spikes which explains the puncture wounds on her hands. Which also means she was up there, which explains her fall. She was lucky she didn't break her back"  
"Do you think she had a reason for climbing that fence?" The first person said.

"From what the other children said, the lady, Mrs. Tailor, hit and beat them. But this girl got the most because she was the oldest. Apparently, she was running and had no where to go but up"

Someone sighed. "Such a sad story"  
Then there was silence.

I woke up again and opened my eyes this time. Someone was sitting on the couch reading the newspaper. I took in my surroundings quickly and realised I was in a hospital. I sighed. Maybe this was my lucky escape.

"Hello?" I whispered.

The man in the chair jumped high before he smiled at me. "Hi Isabella. Let me go get your doctor"

He returned with my doctor who explained I had broken both my legs and fractured my hip. It would take me a long time to recover and then I would have to walk with a cane. It was hard, to realise I wouldn't be normal now... but at least I would be able to still walk. Which meant I would be able to run.

He also said that my hands may not work properly any more, because the puncture wounds damaged some important connection things, which make my fingers move.

I tried to move my finger, it did, but only a little.

The doctor apologised to me. Which confused me, it wasn't his fault.

I told him that and then he left. Leaving me alone with the man. "Bella, I am going to be your social worker, meaning when your ready, I will find you a good home to live in"  
Good. Home. Those words were like music to my ears.  
"Thank you" I whispered, smiling myself to sleep.

_3 months later_

I was out of hospital and in Mr. Shaun's car. He was taking me to my new foster home soon. But first, I had to stop at the courts and testify against Mrs. Tailor, tell a group of people what the bad things she did to us. Apparently, I was supposed to be afraid, but I was happy... she was going to pay for what she did to me and the other children.

"Alright Bella, do you need help?" he asked as he opened my door.

I shook my head, not wanting her to see that I sometimes need help. I don't want her to realise what she's done to me.

The first part of the court hearing took forever. I sat outside the door, beside Mr. Shaun in my new jeans and t-shirt, with an actual jumper, waiting for the big police guy to come and get me.

That moment, as I was thinking the fact that it was taking so long, the door creaked open and out came the big guy. He smiled at me and held out his hand. I took it and waved shyly to Mr. Shaun, who would be waiting outside.

Once inside, I was lead up into the box where I would talk. I had been in here while I was practising. I had to swear on the bible.

The same police guy came over "place your right hand on the bible please" He asked.

I did as I was told and felt tingles in my fingers.  
"State your name"  
"Isabella Swan" I whispered, but the microphone made my voice sound loud, but scared.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth? So help you God?"  
I repeated what he said and then took my hand away, rubbing the tingles out.

I then turned to face the crowd. Some people were looking at me in sorrow, some where confused and one person, well one person was shooting daggers into my face. Mrs. Tailor sat in the table separated from everyone. She was wearing her best clothes I've only seen her wear once. And she was not happy.

I flinched away, scared she would hit me.

"Isabella?" The guy on the high chair thing beside me asked.

I cleared my throat "It's Bella" I said determinedly "Only she calls me Isabella" I said, pointing to Mrs. Tailor.

He chuckled and then motioned something. The lady, Mrs. Carlton, at the other table stood "Bella, do you recognise this woman?"  
I nodded.

"Who is she?"  
We had gone through this. I had met Mrs. Carlton before. "Mrs. Tailor. She took care of us while we were at the orphanage."  
"How did she take care of us"  
"She brought food" I said simply.

Mrs. Carlton smiled at me. "Did she ever read to you? Hug you? Play games with you?"  
I shook my head "Never"  
"Did she clean for you? Cook for you? Wash the dishes?"  
Again, I shook my head.

"Who did that?"  
"We did. Me and the other orphans"

A few sad noises came from the audience.

"Bella, do you like Mrs. Tailor?"  
"No. I don't"  
"Why not?"  
"She's mean. She makes us do everything. We never got a single thing from her that she didn't HAVE to provide for us." I said, and then I took a deep breath "And she hit us" I whispered.

"Did she just, give you a smack?" Mrs. Carlton asked.

"No. She beat us. She locked Maggie in the basement for three days. I snuck food to her. She threw plates at us and she used to leave us without food for days. The most days I went without food was 5 days"

Mrs. Carlton smiled and nodded. "What happened on your last day at her orphanage"  
"It was September the 13h, My Birthday. I'm 13 now" I said with a small smile "I had just washed the dishes and Mrs. Tailor didn't like the way I did it. Apparently I need boiling water, but I don't have any gloves so it would hurt my hands. So I cleaned them in warm water. She thought that was yucky. She yelled at me and screamed as me. But she also threw the dishes as me. One of them hit me here" I pointed to my shoulder. "And the other hit me in the head" I remembered it hurting a lot. "I was angry because it had been happening for so long. I broke and started yelling back. I know I'm not supposed to, but I had just had enough. So I yelled and then I realised what I had done and knew she was going to be super mad. So I ran from her. Once I got outside I was stuck, because there was a fence and I didn't know what to do. I was going to go back but she was coming towards me... with a baseball bat! So I did the only thing I could do... I climbed the wire fence"

"Sounds like you were pretty scared"  
I nodded "I wouldn't have left, if I didn't think she was going to hit me with the bat"

"What happened when you made it to the top of the fence?"  
"She also made it to the bottom. I was holding onto the wire part, not the spiky bit at the top. And she started shaking it telling me to get down. It was wobbling so much! I lost my grip and almost fell, but I grabbed onto the spikes" I explained, showing the people the scars in my hand. It reminded me of Jesus, being nailed to the cross. "And then because I grabbed onto them, I fell off. I broke both my legs and my hip. I can't walk without the cane"  
Mrs. Carlton smiled triumphantly before saying "nothing further"

The man sitting with Mrs. Tailor was whispering to Mrs. Tailor and shaking his head. She looked really mad. "I have no questions" He said, before ruffling through his own papers.

"Okay Bella, you may leave" The judge guy told me.

I took a hold of the police guys hand, he led me past Mrs. Tailor.  
She seemed to snapped and took a hold of my shoulders "Your BITCH" She screamed. Then she slapped me.

It had all happened so fast. She was suddenly on the floor beneath a few police men. One of them took me out and gave me back to Mr. Shaun, before saying that I did really well.  
Mr. Shaun smiled at my fallen face. Why did she act like that? What is so wrong with me that I am so bad?  
"Bella, don't worry about her, she's crazy" Mr. Shaun reassured me.

I smiled at him and believed him. Well, maybe the next home will be better. Always gotta be a optimist.

Mr. Shaun took me to my new foster home, something I had just learnt about. Someone called James and Victoria had wanted to try fostering. I was thrilled and so excited that they had chosen me to take in.

Once there, Mr. Shaun got out and helped me, letting me use my cane to get onto the footpath. I still had to walk with it. It made me get stares but it helped me, so who cares.

Mr. Shaun took me up to the house and introduced me to James and Victoria, who looked nice, but somewhat... off...

Once Mr. Shaun left after a sad and almost, awkward goodbye. Then my new parents showed me my room and then told me to get comfortable, they'll call when dinner is ready.

I turned and faced the small room. It had a single bed, a desk and a wardrobe. There was one small window. The bed had a plane grey cover followed by a plain black pillow. It was boring.  
I placed my bag on top and then put my clothes in the drawers. "Bella! Dinner" I heard Victoria call me.

I came downstairs and sat down at a seat. "Bella, that's my seat. I'm going to let you off with a warning. But if it happens again, you will be punished." James told me angrily.

I got up, apologised and then turned to both of them. "Where do I sit?" I asked, noting that there was only two seats.

Victoria shrugged and pointed behind me. I spun and found a small kiddy's table. Like I was below them. I took the plate of food Victoria handed me and sat sadly. Maybe this wont be as good.

I scarfed down my food, something I instinctively learnt to do. I if I didn't eat quickly at the home, then it might be taken away from me.

But James saw my fast eating and looked appauled, he picked up my plate and hit me across the head with it. "Bella, that's disgusting. You do not eat so fast in this house" He shouted. Then dropped the plate in front of me.

It was empty now, the food that was left was in my hair and on the wall.  
"Clean it up" Victoria nodded to me and then went with her husband upstairs.

I cried as I cleaned, holding the wet wash cloth to my head which had begun to bruise. It wasn't going to be better. It might even be worse.

Lying in bed that night, trying to block out the 'thump, thump' in the room next door, I thought of Alice and how I was again, happy that she wasn't with me. That she was safe and healthy and possibly, maybe even happy. It was that thought that got me through the night.

* * *

**Reviews make me post faster!!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

_1 year later_

"ISABELLA! You better get your skinny butt downstairs and make us breakfast before you leave to go to that stupid school of yours" I heard James yell at me.

I jumped out of bed, hurriedly got dressed and then ran downstairs, tripping on the last one and falling splat on the floor. My hip screamed in pain. Well shit! Today was not going to be a good day. I hobbled over to the kitchen and made them eggs and bacon. I was thankful that it was done when they decided to come and sit at the table.

I placed the plates in front of them before saying goodbye, getting my bag and cane and walking my half an hour walk to school. It hurt, a lot, but I had no way else to get there.

Now, this past year... it hasn't been so good. James and Victoria, they were worse than Mrs. Tailor. She had other children to pick on, but James and Victoria, they just have me. Which makes it four times worse.

I rubbed my arm absent mindedly, flinching as I pressed on my bruised skin. I made a mental note to not to wear the gym uniform today, not wanting them to get suspicious.

Once at school, I used my motto, head down walk straight ahead. Don't talk to anyone.

Everyone hated me. And I didn't mind, because if they left me alone, then it means more time to myself.

I sat in my last class's seat, at the front, I had my head on my arm as I listened to Mrs Morrow talk about 'How to kill a mockingbird'. I almost dozed off, but managed to listen to most of it.

Once that was done, I began to walk back to the house. I refused to call it home. Home is somewhere I am safe, and right now, that's no where.

I mentally applauded God when I saw Jane's car was gone. I went inside and immediately went to the phone and dialled the number I now knew by heart. But it was always the same "I'm sorry, the number you have dialled is incorrect of disconnected. Please try again" Said the robotic voice.

I checked the number to the creased little piece of paper that I had in my hand and tried again, and got the same result.  
A tear fell, just like every other day, when I realised my attempts to reach Alice were futile.  
I ate leftovers from the fridge, knowing I would have to pay for it later, but also knowing that my 5 day fast is going to hurt me drastically if I didn't eat something. I savoured every mouthful,thinking this would be my last meal for the week.  
It was 7pm when I had dinner at the table, the moment James and Victoria got home. They came into the kitchen, ignored me, started eating and then left to go upstairs.

I did a happy, dance, thankful I didn't get a beating. I washed the dishes, cleaned the house and did a load of washing before going into my room, finishing my homework and then collapsing onto the bed, fully clothed and exhausted.

I woke up in the middle of the dark. It was pitch black and cold. I heard a creak. I shot up in my bed. Oh please no. not tonight.

My prayers were unanswered as my door swung open and James entered the room. I am pushed downwards into my bed, my pants ripped away. James then decides to have his way with me. My silent please gone unnoticed.  
This has happened before, unfortunately. And I am constantly sore and sick every day.

I pray for a miracle

_Two months later_

Two months have passed and I am constantly sick in the mornings, I have also missed my periods. I am scared about the small baby bump growing in my stomach. At first, I thought it was a cold or the flu, but now, I am beginning to get worried. It is after school and I'm standing in the supermarket, staring up at all the little boxes.

I sigh and pick the cheapest one, $4.99. I pay for it, earning a look from the old cashier. I smile "Can you please show me where the bathroom is?" I ask politely.

She frowns again and points me in the direction.  
I tell her I don't need a bag. I thank her. I go to the room that will help me determine my future.

Peeing on the stick is easy. It is the 3-4minutes wait that killed me. I sat in the cubical, on the floor, watching it. Waiting for either the little pink cross, or the blue cross to appear. I hum in my head the familiar nursery rhyme, which gets me thinking to Alice. This makes me cry in loss. I miss her so much. And what hurts more, is that she has probably forgotten me.

I glance at the little thing and my stomach turns, I kneel over the bowl just in time to empty my already empty stomach. I hate pink. I also hate little pink crosses which tell me, a 14 year old orphan, that I am pregnant.

"Hi, can I help you?" the lady on the desk asks.

I nod sadly. "I need to speak with the police" I say determinedly.

She smiled "I am a officer, what's wrong honey"  
I take a deep breathe "My foster parents abuse me. I'm pregnant" I say straight away. If I had given more detail, I would have either chickened out or thrown up.

The ladies smile falters and she looks appalled. "One second Hun"

Everything happens quickly. I am taken to the hospital. They check me out, confirm I'm pregnant, take pictures of my bruises, tell me everything is going to be okay, I'm told James and Victoria are taken into custody, I am told I can have a abortion.

"What?" I asked.

"Your 14 honey, think about it. Do you really want to go through with having this child?"  
I stare at the lady. I think really hard. Do I want to have this baby. Do I want to put it into the system like me? Do I want to ruin its life? Thats easy. No. But do I want to be a murderer? Do I want to make a decision to end this ones life. Well, no.

"No. I can't... I can't have a abortion" I whisper, tears falling.

She nods sadly.

I decide to keep the baby. I decide to give it up for adoption when its born.

I sit in the back of Mr. Shaun's car, my hand resting on my baby bump, thinking of all the horrible things the children at my new school will say. What the horrible things these foster parents will think!.

Mr. Shaun has managed to find me a married couple who wants company over the next year, but didn't want to have me full time. I feel like I'm being rented out. When they found out I was pregnant, they were a little hesitant, but agreed after convincing.  
I am on my way to there house now.

They live in a tiny village called Forks. Where it rains... constantly.

"Hi Bella. I'm Charlie and this is Renee." The man said, smiling.

I smiled politely and turned to Renee, who stared at my belly for a moment before looking at my eyes.

Her cheeks flushed pink. "Its so nice to have you here" She said before taking me into a hug. It didn't feel right.

They smiled some more before talking to Mr. Shaun, who said that he would call in a few weeks. Both my new guardians then lead me into the house

"Lets show you your room" Renee said.

I followed them into the house. There was a living room to the left and then a dinning room to the right. Connected to the living room was a kitchen. I thought it made sense to have the kitchen and dinning room connected... but apparently not. The kitchen was small and made very bright by the yellow cabinets. Strange decorations...

I was lead upstairs. There on the right was there room and there en suite. Then the opened the door to the left and it was my room. Nothing fancy, a small double bed, a desk, a wardrobe and then another door.  
I opened that door and found my own bathroom. I smiled despite my nervous mood.

"Do you like it?" Charlie asked.

I nodded, smiling still. I did actually, it seemed.... like me.

"We'll let you get settled and then we'll call you for dinner" Renee said. Then she took a deep breathe "Where glad your living with us Bella. Hopefully you'll grow to learn, where not going to hurt you. And then, you'll become comfortable here. Hopefully, you'll grow a healthy baby and when the time comes, you'll find a really good family for it"

My smile left as they left. I was hurting them because of my situation... I always hurt people.

I laid down on my bed after unpacking for what felt like the millionth time. I twirled my cane in my hands. It was a plain brown stick with a black nob at the end, so it didn't slip when I put pressure on it, but it also had a handle, so I could hold onto it. I liked it. Because it was mine. I had decorated it too. Not with stickers, because that would be lame. But with engravings. I had drawn, written and marked memories into this cane. At the top on the handle had the name _Alice_ so I would always be holding onto her. On the stick part it had a tally of numbers, that counted the amount of times I've been hit and abused.

Below that long list of strokes, was the name of the nursery rhyme _Hush little baby _because it comforted me. It reminded me of my mother and Alice.

Lame I know, but it made me happy. Knowing I could hold onto these memories, because they were mine and no one could take them.

I looked around the room and smiled again. I had no feelings of weirdness and I didn't feel off. Perhaps... hopefully, this was going to be a good place. Maybe my luck was finally coming.


	5. Chapter 5

**So, for this story, I had most of it written. But I've changed a major part from this one I'm uploading compared to the one I've half finished. Before, I was just posting the ones I've done, after fixing a few things, but now I have to re-write major parts. But no biggie, I like the way this one is going more now. :)**

**Give me time, and there should be a chapter every 1-3 days. :P If not, please do not complain, I'm in year 12 and have to work hard... but holidays soon, so I'll probably write more then.**

**Oh, and I'm an Australian, so if your something else I don't know how the schooling system works, but when we get to year 10, we have the choice to drop out. Some go off to TAFE, which is sort of like a uni, but not... lol, I'm not sure how to explain it.**

**So, any hoo, I'm really sorry about the delay and all... but I got pretty busy with about 3 SACS (test things for school) and had to study.**

**Now: Enjoy Chapter five...**

Chapter five

_4 months later_

I was huge, well, big compared to what I used to be. I was going to the doctor's today, but by my estimation, and from my last check in, I am approximately 6 months pregnant. 6 months down, 3 months to go... oh goody.

"Bella, honey" My foster mother, Renee, said quietly as she knocked on my door. She was really nice, after we got to know each other and once she knew I wasn't a stuck up slut, she actually liked me as well. "You have a doctor's appointment today, did you want me to come with you?"  
I heaved myself up from my position on my bed and shook my head "I know you have work. I'd rather you take a day off for the actual birth, rather than just a appointment. I'll be fine" I promised.

She smiled and then kissed me goodbye, before leaving the house.

Charlie was really nice as well, he had always wanted a 'little girl' and despite me being old and pregnant, he still treated me as his own. And he supported my situation as much as any father would...

He was actually coming to pick me up today. My appointment was at 1pm and he was coming at 12.30 so he wasn't late. And because I had been feeling ill this morning, I decided to take the day off school.

I still went to school here. Forks High. And everyone still stared, despite them all knowing I was pregnant. Although, I was falling pretty behind in all my school work... but I'm planning on dropping out at year 10, when it isn't compulsory. What's the point? I haven't really had the best education before these guys. I didn't go to school when I lived in the orphanage, I missed weeks when I was with James and Victoria and now I'm going to miss practically a whole month when the baby comes. I just think that my best bet will be to quit and take a TAFE course somewhere.

"Bella?!" Charlie's voice called from downstairs.

I must have fallen asleep. Glancing at the clock as I changed my sweat pants into jeans (with the elastic in them) it said it was 12.36, time to go.

I waddled down the stairs, how can I barely walk around now, and manage the next 3 months? They'll have to rent a bus to get me from place to place.

I managed to get into Charlie's car without mishap, and I was glad I did. Because knowing me, I'd probably fall and go into a early labour.

Charlie sat in the waiting room while I made my way into the examination room.

I put on the robe and then sat on the bed, waiting for her to come. I smiled at the familiar Dr. Button, who smiled back at me.

She did the whole check and then went onto the ultrasound, the only part of this that is interesting. She checked my baby was growing properly, then focused on its face. I gasped as I saw the outline of the little nose and the little mouth. It was beautiful even in black and white.  
"Do you want to know the sex?" She asked.

I thought for a moment, did I? Well, yes! I nodded excitedly and she moved the nob thing on my stomach so she could see.  
She smiled at me "Congratulations Bella, your going to have a baby boy"

I wiped tears. I'm not sure what I was exactly expecting, but a baby boy... I smiled and then it dawned on me... I was not going to keep this baby boy, but it was going to be adopted away from me... where it could possibly face pain and suffering...

"Are you okay?" The doctor asked.

I nodded "Yeah, I'm just thinking"  
She nodded sadly before cleaning me up and then telling me I was good to go. She was happy with my progress and told me to make an appointment for next week.

I was silent as I rode with Charlie back to the house. He knew something was wrong. "Bella, honey, what's wrong?" He asked.

I shrugged, my hands resting on my belly. "I'm going to have a boy" I whispered.

He congratulated me. "I still don't understand, why is that upsetting?" He asked.

A tear slid down my cheek, my mind resting on the problem I have been procrastinating... "Adoption"  
He laughed "Boys aren't harder to adopt out honey, don't worry. We'll find a nice family who want this baby. I've already started searching at work. Don't stress"  
I burst into tears at his 'already started' comment.

He pulled over and put an arm on my arm, making me look up "What's wrong Bella, please tell me"  
"I don't want to get rid of my boy! I want this baby! I want to make him happy! I want to make sure he is safe! If I give away, what's to stop him going into the system and have a life... a life like.. me?!"

He pulled me into a hug and shushed me, rubbing my back in a calming patter. Once I had settled down he looked me in the eyes "Honey, no one said you had to give the baby away. But because you are so young..."  
I cut him off "I've never been young" I said angrily.

He nodded "It's completely up to you. If you choose to keep this baby, you have to realise he isn't going to be cheap... and your still in school"  
Money... I'm going to need money...

He smiled "Don't worry about expenses.. I'll help you either way. But you have to think about all the options... if your going to keep him, its for forever"

Charlie started driving again and let me think about these possibilities.

He dropped me off and then drove away back to work. I took the blanket off the couch in the living room and sat outside on the swing, watching the world go by while I thought of my options.

About 20minutes passed and I just couldn't get comfortable, so I went inside and started dinner, it made me feel... wife like. I was pregnant, and making dinner. The only difference was that I was only 15 years old.

I finished making dinner and set the table just in time for Renee and Charlie to arrive home, they smiled at my efforts and then joined me to eat. I did, eat as much as I could, but sometimes I just felt sick... unlike pregnancies I read about, where the mothers ate anything and everything.

I went to bed early and fell asleep quickly, dreading school tomorrow... I hated the stares.

"_Alice!" I called out into the darkness. I was 7 again, and looking for my baby 2 year old sister. But I couldn't find her anywhere!_

_I ran from room to room, realising that I was in my first home, the one with my real parents. I still couldn't find Alice._

_I walked toward the kitchen door and went to open it, but my bare feet hit a puddle of liquid, looking down I found a red substance. It was thick and gooey... My feet felt dirty instantly. I knew what this was... it was blood. My stomach was doing flips as I carefully opened the door, I had to push real hard against it. When it did move, something fell forward from behind it.  
My dad was now lying in a pool of blood, his head half gone from his injury, blood spilling out. He was the one who had been blocking the door._

_I turned toward the other side of the kitchen to find my mother, a knife in her chest, her cold eyes staring into mine. I searched for Alice, hoping she wouldn't be here._

_I screamed when I turned around, Alice was there, standing in the hall way, blood dripping from the side of her head, and from her hands.  
"You couldn't save me... You let me die!"  
I shook my head frantically "No! I sent you to a good home! Your with good people!" I tried to convince myself.  
"How do you know that?! I could be dead! Your a horrible sister and your going to be a even worse mother!"  
My hands dropped to my now bloated stomach. I was 15 now, the same age as I really was. Blood trickled down my legs. No!_

_Suddenly, a baby was in my arms, it was covered in blood and bruises. My stomach was flat again. "Baby?" I whispered._

_It opened its eyes and I dropped it in fear. Pitch black was staring back at me._

"_You killed him" My father said._

"_Just like you killed us" My mother added._

_I was surrounded by people I knew._

_My sister, still bleeding, still staring. "Your a murderer"_

"_No" I whispered.  
"You sent me to jail. I couldn't take it. I murdered myself" Mrs. Tailor said, a rope dangling from her neck._

"_No" I cried, tears falling._

"_You made my get beaten to death in my cell. You made my wife die of aids" James said, one arm missing and one leg bent the other way._

_Victoria stood next to him, pimples of pus and sores covering her body. "You killed us too"  
Renee and Charlie smiled at me. "Where not dead yet... but your slowly killing us too. Because that's what you do..."  
Then, all together, even my dead baby who was now being cradled by Alice, whispered "Your a murderer"_

I screamed. And Screamed. And Screamed. I didn't stop screaming until I felt ice cold water on me.

"Bella! Your safe, calm down please!" I heard a gruff voice break through my nightmare.

I shook my head and rubbed my eyes, then I saw Charlie and Renee, Charlie was in only some pyjama bottoms and Renee was in her nightgown. I must have woken them up.

My hands went to my stomach where I could feel my **alive** baby kicking around, worried about why I was worried.

"I'm okay" I whispered, getting up to change the blankets. Renee helped me and then made me get a drink of water before tucking me back in.

"Honey, I'm worried... I know you don't realise, but thats not the first nightmare you've had"  
I frowned "What do you mean?"  
"you talk in your sleep Bella" She said, quietly "I think you should go and see a therapist"  
My stomach flipped and my mind zoomed with thoughts "Do you think that will help?"  
She nodded.

"Then I'll think about it"  
She left to let me get some sleep. I stayed awake though, thinking about Therapy. Will it help?

My mind drifted back to my initial debate, should i keep the baby? Now two things ran threw my mind.

Do I keep the Baby? Should I go to therapy?

**Sorry for the delay. What do you all think? Should Bella go to therapy?? Should she keep the baby??**

**Review with your answers.  
3**


	6. Chapter 6

**To fix some issues and to answer one question: this story is all human. Although, vampires are cool, I just didn't picture them in it when I began writing this. :)**

**Enjoy chapter six**

Chapter six

I sat at my biology table, tapping my foot nervously. I hated school. I hated it with a passion. I have already decided to drop out very soon.

"Bella?" The teacher asked.

I frowned and sat up straighter

"Why do some animals have pheromones?" He asked.

I scanned my notes "Ah... so they can attract a mate to breed with?"  
I heard snickers "She doesn't need help with that, she's already breeding" Someone whispered.

I blocked the noise out as Mr. Kevin said that was one of the reasons and then turned to Mike for another.

I blocked out there hurtful words, taking notes and listening intently, waiting for that bell to ring.

I managed to squeeze my way through the door and a mess of people during lunch, lining up for food.

"So, Bella, how far along are you?" someone asked.

I turned, expecting words of hatred, but was surprised to find Angela, the only nice person in this town. I smiled "I'm 6months. Only 3 more left" I said happily.

I rested my hand on my stomach.  
"Does it kick?" She asked, curiously.

I nodded, "Want to feel? He's kicking now"  
She nodded shyly. So I took her hand and placed it where he was kicking, she oohed in amazement "Thats so cute. Do you know its a he?"

I nodded "Found out yesterday"  
I saw people look at us weirdly and Angela pulled away awkwardly. She shot me an apologetic look before collecting her food and hurrying away.

I got my own meal and sat at the empty table which had been dubbed mine. It even had my name on it. Someone had wrote 'Pregnant Slut Sits here. Do not sit or else you will catch it too" In black permanent marker. I didn't move tables though, because I was slightly too stubborn. I refused to let the mean words of the students ever get to me.

But, the actions some people do, sometimes hurt. I looked at Angela and found her laughing with Ben, her boyfriend, I tried to burying the feeling that began to bubble inside. The degraded, underprivileged and just pathetic feeling I usually get... abandonment.

"Charlie!" I heard Renee shout as I came in quietly through the front door. I didn't want to overhear them, but I kinda did, I wanted to know if it was about me. And if it was going to hurt me, I'd rather know now than them have it tell it to my face.

"Renee! I can't, I promised her" Charlie said, he sounded very upset.

_Her..._ Well, theirs no question as to who 'her' is. This argument, its about me...

I heard sobbing "I can't do it! I can't live with her knowing she got pregnant, even though she didn't want to! And here I am, trying and trying and not being able to! I thought I'd be able to handle it, but I just can't! I can't face it everyday"

"Renee" Charlie said, sounding defeated. "I promised her... I told her I'd help her!"

I heard a short scream of frustration "You decide then! Her or me! Your wife, or Bella! You decide who you want in this house Charlie"

Then I heard him mumble something.

I heard a small sob.

"Thank you" Renee whispered.

I was being sent away... Traitor tears fell, the unwanted feeling began to grow as my body began to shake with emotions I could no longer hold back. I was going to be alone... again.

Suddenly, there bedroom door opened and they came out and jumped slightly at my presence. I didn't want pity, although that was what they looked at me with. Pity.

"I'm Sorry" Charlie whispered, reaching for me.

But I stepped back, shaking my head. A small, psychotic laugh escaped my lips "Just organise whatever, get rid of me, send me back with Mr. Shaun. I don't really care any more. Just don't talk to me... And what ever you do... do not apologise." I said furiously Before grabbing my coat and storming out of the house. "I'm going for a walk" I told them as they stood behind the closed door, dumbfounded.

I had been walking for about 2 hours or so, Charlie and Renee had texted and called me numerous times. I had replied with a simple 'I'm angry right now, and I just need to be alone. I'll be back soon' and then I had turned off my phone.

I was walking down the main road as car, after car passed me, looking at me with curiosity.

My feet were hurting now, and I was beginning to regret my decision, knowing there was no way to get back to Forks, without walking. Unless I went to Seattle and caught the bus back. I stuck my thumb out to the side, deciding that is what I will do.

A car slowed beside me and I smiled at the lady. "Where to?" She asked.

I shrugged "Where are you going?"  
"Seattle" She said simply.

I smiled "Mind if I get a lift there?"  
She shook her head and I climbed in, thankful of being off my feet.

A small giggle alerted me to a small boy in the back-seat.

"Hi, I'm Bella" I told him.

He stuck out his hand and waved, giggling more "Alec!" He shouted.

"I'm Jane" The lady said, watching the road. "When are you due Bella?" She asked, looking for a second at my stomach.

"3months" I said, rubbing the bump.

We continued to talk about children and where about 15minutes from the Seattle city when it happened.

I watched as if in slow motion. We had begun to pass through the intersection, when the black car coming the other way began to swerve. It must have been going at 115km, but it still seemed to move slowly.

My life didn't flash before my eyes this time, because I couldn't care if I died at this moment. Even if my baby died... at least we'd be together, where ever the after life is. And my boy would meet his grandma.

Tires screeched and screamed rang from Jane, as she began to try and dodge the car coming head on toward us. Alec began to cry, asking for his mummy. I held onto the chair, waiting for the impact that I knew was coming.

The scratching of metal, the sound of a small explosion and the cries of fear filled my ears the moment the black car hit us. I was flung backwards from the impact but then lurched forward. The seatbelt dug into my stomach and I immediately felt fear for my baby as I realised something broke. I was thrown forward again and my head hit the dashboard. As I began to loose conciousness, I realised the wetness growing beneath my body, and it wasn't blood.

I woke up in the ambulance, to a lot of nervous yelling "we need to stabilise her!"  
"what's your name son?"  
"Alec"  
"She's awake. Miss?! What's your name?"  
"Baby" I whispered, my hand going to my stomach.

He nodded "We know, we have to give you a c-section the moment you get into the hospital. Is that okay?"  
I nodded "Bella" I said, answering his first question.

He smiled "Your going to be fine Bella"

Then his face grew into the blurriness.

I woke up later, my head pounding, my stomach feeling off and my arm in a cast. My hand went down automatically and my breathing and heart rate increased when I felt it. Nothing. My stomach was flat...

I screamed.

"MY BABY!" I shouted.

Several people came in all at once, telling me things and trying to calm me down. But I couldn't. All I could think of was my baby. And where was he?

"MY BABY! MY BOY! WHERE IS MY BABY?" I cried, my hands pushing into my eyes as I tried to wake up from this nightmare.

Someone pushed them away and held my struggling body still. "Sedate her" The voice, a man's voice which was surprisingly calming, said sadly.

**Sorry for such a late reply, I got busy with school work. This week is our last week until easter holidays, so hopefully, I'll get to be on for longer :)**

**I have however, been writing some of this story by hand, so it is going to be quicker updates when the holidays do, eventually, arrive.**

**Thanks for reading, and don't forget.**

**  
Reviews are the chocolate to my writing :D**

**Bext03**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter seven

My baby. My baby boy has come, it wasn't exactly expected to be today, but he is here and I felt this sense of luck and relief wash over me... as if I was about to fall into the right path, finally.  
I opened my eyes carefully this time, afraid I would be sedated again. I took a deep, calming breathe and then reached for the nurses button and pressed it. I was proud of my situation control, this time round.

The nurse came in and told me to sit tight until my doctor come. I wish she would just hurry up and tell me where my baby is. And if he is okay.

The doctor came in shortly and I was stunned by his appearance. His blonde hair, blue eyes, movie like looks... Why was he so familiar?

He began to explain my injuries. I don't care about that though! I want to know if my baby is okay! Is he dead? He stopped talking as my heart rate rose, looking at me in concern.

"I don't care what is wrong with me" I whispered, ignoring the burn in my throat and the fact that I was eerily speaking calmly. "Is my baby dead?"

The man smiled "Your baby is not dead" He said.

I let out a large breath and tears followed "Oh thank god" I whispered.

"But because he was born at 6months, he will be in the ICU for approximately a month while we make sure he is stable and healthy. The most common disease that he will most likely contract is Jaundice, but that is nothing to worry about, it is completely treatable"

I smiled at him happily. "Thank you" I whispered, grateful for someone who just told me straight out.

"Now, can I continue?" He asked amused.

I shook my head "I want to see him?"  
"Not today, he is still undergoing observation and we do not want to disrupt it until we are sure he is stable outside the womb. I will let you know tomorrow if you can see him then." He took a small breath "Now, you have had a concussion and a broken wrist. Oh, and of course, the c-section. But other than that, you were very lucky"

Lucky. I was lucky!

Guilt washed over me "What about Jane and Alec?" I asked.

He shook his head sadly "Jane passed I'm afraid. Alec is okay and with his father. We asked Mr. Morrow, Jane's husband, and he said he didn't recognise you"

"No, he wouldn't I was hitch hiking to Seattle, Jane picked me up."  
He nodded "Yes, your foster parents said that must be what you had done. They also left your things here and explained the whole situation to me and your social worker. They gave me this to give to you" He said, handing me a letter.

"Thank you, Doctor...."  
"Cullen. Dr. Carlisle Cullen" He quickly checked my clipboard and his eyes almost fell out of his head "Isabella Swan?" He asked.

I nodded, my own eyes twice the normal size and my mouth open. "Dr. Cullen?! As in, the Cullen who took in Alice Swan about 8 years ago?"  
He nodded as he sat down shakily in the chair, then he laughed "We'll! What a coincidence!" He said happily.

"Alice... you still have her?" I asked, my voice filled with worry.

He nodded.

"And she's okay, you don't hit her? She's happy? She's alive?!"  
He nodded, a frown on his head.

"She's perfectly happy? No mental, physical or sexual trauma??!" I asked, excited when he began to shake his head.

"She's very happy... Bella, what makes you think she would have those sorts of trauma?"  
I sat back in my bed. "Because of what happened to me...But please, I really don't want to talk about that"  
He nodded "Bella, I need to tell you something though... Alice, she had an accident when she was 5. She lost her whole memory. Nothing we did ever triggered it back"

My whole joy, the over happy feeling of having my baby, and my sister in my hands reach, fell to the floor in a heap of sadness gloop. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. I finally find my sister only to realise she doesn't even remember me! Doesn't even know I exist.

"She's seen the photo of you, your mother and her self, but it didn't help. I am very sorry Bella... But the accident, it was uncontrollable, no ones fault. She ran out to the road and didn't look... the car hit her"

I felt tears falling now.

"Bella, listen. I have to get back to work, but I'm going to see you before I leave for the night. Maybe we can organise a time for you at Alice to meet" He said.

He saw my doubt in my eyes and touched my hand "I promise Bella" Then he left.

I didn't care though, promises to me are broken. Charlie said he'd take care of me. Mummy said she'd never leave and Alice... Alice said she's always love me. But how can she if she doesn't even know who I am.

I hated my life. Thoroughly. It was the 3month premature baby in the ICU keeping me from going into that bathroom and dunking my head under water. Under water where I can't hear, can't feel, can't cry and especially, where I can't breathe.

* * *

Dr. Cullen did come in that night, he left me a note with a smiley face on it because I was asleep. It was the morning when I managed to get the confidence and will power to open the letter from Renee and Charlie. It was written in Charlie's writing, no surprise there. I always knew Renee didn't really like me. Oh well, at least they didn't hit me.

_Bella,_

_I know your probably really upset with me. But please, let me tell you I didn't not want this. Renee, she is very... spontaneous. She will like karate class on day, but then change it completely to something like floral arrangement._

_Now, I'm not saying that your a karate or floral arrangement class, no, that would be an understatement, obviously. You are an amazing person Bella, despite what you've been through. And I'm sorry to say I am going to become another negative memory in your past because we kicked you out, as much as I hope that I do not, I know its inevitable._

_I know you well enough to mean what I say. I don't usually express my feelings and have only done so on my wedding night, and I was half drunk then too... so consider this a gift._

_I grew to love you as my own, despite my less loving actions towards you. But that is just how I am, and always will be. I hope you realise that I'm rambling, and basically writing down my thoughts, but I don't exactly know what to write... Renee isn't helping. She's in the corner chair, pouting because she just wants to go home. Seriously, your more mature than her._

_Anyway, I have to get going so I'll just say this: Your amazing, don't change. I can feel that you are about to get some good luck soon._

_I am going to miss you, you have become like my own daughter and its hurting me to let you go, but I have to. I'm sorry._

_You are going to become a great mother, despite your age, because as you said to me: You never had a childhood, so what's better than practice? Your going to raise a great little monster. I hope one day you'll bring him down so I can meet him._

_I love you Bella, _

_Charlie_

Charlie's words erased all my bad feelings towards him, because I realise that it actually isn't his fault. I smiled as I sealed up the letter again and placed it in my box of things. I would keep that and I would also, one day, take my baby down to see his 'Grandpa' Charlie. Because I owe him that much.

I pressed the button for the nurse and she came in, bright and bubbly. "Yes dear?" She asked as she checked my chart.

"I was wondering if Dr. Cullen was in, I want to know if I can go see my baby today"

She beamed at this idea and hurried out of the room.

I sat nervously, praying silently to be able to see my baby. My son.

It hadn't really sunk in yet, that this was my baby.

"Bella" Dr. Cullen sighed, smiling at me happily, he came in wheeling a wheel chair.

I climbed into the chair and let him push me toward the ICU, I was bouncing in my chair from excitement.

He pushed me right up to the glass window and I stood and pressed my hands to the glass. The nurse smiled kindly before pushing a container closer to me. 'Baby Boy Swan' it read on a label. In the plastic container, laid a small bundle in just a nappy. He had hospital bands on his wrist and ankle, and tubes around his nose and one in his chest. I smiled sadly at him, tears slowly falling. He was beautiful. He was my angle.

I wiped my tears as I stared at him. I slid down to his level and tried to transfer my message of love to him. I wanted, needed, to comfort him, I need to hold him. I wanted to hug him.

I watched as he opened and closed his hands in confusion, his eyes scrunching up. His mouth parted slightly and his cheeks were flushed pink.

"Does he need a name?" I asked Dr. Cullen, looking back at the sign on his cot.

He chuckled "Not this second, but eventually"  
I couldn't take my eyes away from him, he seemed like a miracle. He was the best thing to happen to me, ever... out of all my bad experiences, he came from them. And now, now I've seen him, I wouldn't change a thing.

"Bella, honey, we have to go" Dr. Cullen whispered.

I nodded and pressed my cheek against the glass, wishing I could just touch him, make sure he's alive. "Hush little baby, don't be scared. Mama's always going to be right here" I whispered before I sat back in my chair and allowed Dr. Cullen to wheel me away.

I silently cried the whole time.

I didn't sleep that night, I sat up the whole time, picturing him in my mind.

I was awoken from my day dreaming when the door opened and in came Mr. Shaun, my social worker.

He began to apologise for everything, obviously very guilty.

I shook my head "Don't apologise, everything you've done, was with the best intentions, everything that happened had nothing to do with you" I promised.

"I know, but I'm still sorry. For what has happened to you. And also, for what is most likely, going to happen to you"

I frowned "What's going to happen?"

"We'll, your in the system still, because your not a legal adult yet. So your going to have to go into a orphanage" He explained "Meaning, your baby will also be in the system, by default, despite you wanting to be his mother. So unless you find parents willing to adopt you and him together, your bother going to be separated. A new born baby for adoption is a very rare find, and many parents will grab at the opportunity."

I felt angry, sad and furious. How could they do this to us. How could this state government people hurt me more!? I just don't understand why. "I've seen my baby all of one times, less than ten minutes, and your telling me I can't keep him, unless the miracle happens" I whispered, all my my hope leaving my body. All the happy-ness that I have ever felt seeping through my tears. I felt now, as if I could never be happy again.

"I'm sorry" Mr. Shaun whispered.

"Is there any way? Can I get emancipated? I saw that on the Simpsons?" I asked.

He chuckled at my Simpsons referance but shook his head.

Fear overwhelmed me and I suddenly felt hot, very hot. "I have to! I have to have him!" I cried, sobbing now.

His phone rang. "Bella, I'm just going to answer this, I'll be right outside" He said.  
But I ignored him, I just cried.

Why does everything hate me? Why doesn't anyone want me to be happy.

Furious, I got out of my bed and tip toed past Mr. Shaun and began the short walk and elevator trip to the ICU ward. I was infront of the glass window within moments.

The nurse on duty there looked at me in confusion, the tears falling and the fear obvious in my eyes.

"Are you okay?" She asked, her voice coming through a speaker.

"Please" I mouthed, silently begging she would let me see him.  
She smiled at wheeled my baby forward.

I knelt in front of him, placing my hand where he was, wishing I could touch him once "I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry I never got to talk to you, but it seems like I'm going to be taken away. I promise though, the moment I turn 18, I'm going to come after you. I'm going to fight to win you back. I'll always want you"

I took a deep breath and began to sing the song I hadn't spoken in 8 years. The song I sang to Alice...

_Hush, little baby, don't say a word,  
Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird._

If that mockingbird won't sing,  
Mama's going to buy you a diamond ring.

If that diamond ring turns brass,  
Mama's going to buy you a looking glass.

If that looking glass gets broke,  
Mama's going to buy you a billy goat.

If that billy goat won't pull,  
Mama's going to buy you a cart and bull.

If that cart and bull turn over,  
Mama's going to buy you a dog named Rover.

If that dog named Rover won't bark,  
Mama's going to buy you a horse and cart.

If that horse and cart fall down,  
You'll still be the sweetest little boy in town.

So hush little baby, don't be scared,

_Mama's always going to be right here_

I stepped back and hit someone, spinning around I found myself staring into Dr. Cullen and a woman's eyes, they both held sadness for me.

"Bella, this is Esme, my wife"  
I smiled at her, I held great appreciation for this woman "Thank you, both of you, for taking care of Alice. Dr. Cullen, I hope you can watch my baby until he gets adopted. But for now, I have to go with Mr. Shaun. I'm going back to the orphanage, where I belong"

"Oh Bella, honey, I am so sorry we never adopted you when we took in Alice. But Edward, our middle child, he was already having trust issues and if we had of taken in you as well, we feared he'd be threatened"  
I shook my head "I don't hate you for doing that. I don't care what has happened to me, for it lead me to make this being. And even if I only got to spend half an hour overall with my boy, then that was worth every moment of pain and torture". I said, sincerely.

She looked like she was going to cry.

"But, if you'll excuse me, I really don't want to wait here any longer, I don't think I'll be able to leave if I see him again"

"Arn't you going to name him?" Dr. Cullen asked.

I smiled against my will, I had thought of a name. "Brandon Charlie Swan" I mumbled. "Brandon was my mothers maiden name. She was the only mother that ever loved me."  
Esme actually let one tear fall.

I managed to suppress my own sob with a couch instead. "And, and Charlie, he was the only man who ever loved me... like a father. He was the first father I ever knew... well, one that didn't hit me. And. We'll, Swan, that represents me. Because I am Bella Swan and despite the name belonging to a horrible man, it will always be me, and now, it will always be him"

"I think, that that is a great name" Esme whispered. She stepped forward and then stopped, she looked like she was about to hug me.

I turned "Goodbye Brandon" I whispered before walking determinedly out the hallway.

I slid down the elevator's walls and sobbed. Thankful that Dr. Cullen and Esme didn't follow.

I've had to endure so much pain and negative-ness. Why can't I have one good thing? Why can't I just be free?

Why can't I keep my baby?

**Bella has been through so much sadness. It's beginning to make me feel like I'm depressed. But I'm not, I assure you! **

**She will hit her good luck! She will find her leprechaun (Cause they give you good luck... I think) ;) Maybe in the next chapter... we'll all, including me, will have to wait and see!!**

**Review, and I'll write faster.**

**Seriously, please review? They make my day**

**Bexta03**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter eight

I made my way to my room, my tears blurring my vision. I met Mr. Shaun in the hallway. "Let me pack, then I'll go with you" I told him sadly.

He smiled at me "Why don't you wait for one moment... I think I have a surprise for you"  
He lead me back to my room and told me to get dressed, rather than sit around in my hospital gown. I pulled on my only pair of jeans, a long sleeve shirt and then another short sleeve shirt over the top. I pulled my hair into a messy bun before plopping onto the seat and massaging my cast covered wrist.

"Okay Bella, I have a solution for you. I have found parents who are willing to adopt you and foster Brandon, meaning you will still get to be the parents, if we fill out the appropriate documents and get the judge to sign them"  
I shrugged "Mr. Shaun, I have had bad home after bad home, what makes you think this will be different? I mean no disrespect, but I don't think I trust your idea's any more"

"I deserve that, yes, but believe me honey, you want to trust me this time. Because I swear, it will be the last time" He said, smiling widely.

I shrugged and nodded to him, letting him know I was okay with meeting the new parents.  
He happily went and opened my door, there stood Mr. and Mrs. Cullen.

I frowned "I don't understand, this is my doctor, and his wife" I said stupidly.

Mr. Shaun nodded excitedly.

"Bella, honey, we want to adopt you" Dr. Cullen whispered. His wife holding his hand and nodding.

Holy shit... "really?" I asked.

"Yes" Esme said with a voice that sounded as if 'this was it'

"Really? Really? As in, your really going to adopt me? Your not going to give me up after realising I have nightmares? Scream in the middle of the night? Have off days where no one can touch me?"

They both shook there head.

"Your really going to do all the courts and such to let me keep Brandon? Even though it will be no benefit to you?"

The both nodded, happy.

I took a deep, shuddering breath. "why?" I whispered, really curious.

Esme's eyes looked saddened "Because you need some goodness in your life. More than anyone we have ever known. Because you, my dear Bella, deserve everything we can offer. You deserve your baby"

I started to sob. I started to cry. And soon, I was bawling my eyes out. I don't remember when, but in the middle of my heart breaking sounds, Esme had come over and wrapped her own arms around me. I rest my head on her chest, letting the soothing beat of her heart calm me.  
I held onto her though, even after I had finished crying. "I can't remember the last hug I got" I whispered.

I didn't mean for her to hear, but she silently hugged me tighter. "You can always hug me Bella, any time" She whispered. "I'll always be here for you. Always. With love and mother comfort." She promised.

I leant back to see her eyes "Don't promise me, please" I whispered. "No one keeps there promises."  
Tears formed in her own eyes. "I do" She said before hugging me again.

I could have stayed like this forever.

* * *

"Thank you Judge" Carlisle said happily, picking up the small piece of paper which now said that I belonged to Carlisle and Esme Cullen. And then handing me another one that said Brandon belonged to me.

I stared at it and then smiled, I looked up at Carlisle and Esme, and then smiled. I looked back at the piece of paper, and suddenly felt hope.... hope that might, finally, make it through and stay with me.

I sat in the back seat of Carlisle and Esme's car and bounced excitedly. Today I was collecting Brandon and then going to meet Emmett, Edward and Alice. They all knew about me and my boy, and all accepted me. I haven't met them yet, except for Alice, so she'll be meeting me, it'll just be a reunion on my half.  
I had told Esme and Carlisle not to introduce me as her sister, because I didn't want to have to pressure her into already thinking she had to like me. I wanted her to like me for me. They agreed happily.

As for Brandon, he had gotten so much better and was able to leave ICU today, and actually go home. I haven't held him yet, because I had to go to court, but I did, in approximately 20minutes, my baby boy will be in my arms. I smiled at the car seat beside me. Esme had gone out and went shopping for me, buying a few necessities. She promised to go shopping with me when I could get out of the house for some clothes and accessories for myself and Brandon. I was really looking forward to that day.

"Bella... Are you ready?" Esme asked, getting out of the car.  
I jumped out and smiled, "I am really ready" I said, my smile never leaving.

They lead me into a waiting room and told me to sit here, Carlisle was going to get him.

Esme sat next to me and smiled warmly. "Are you nervous" She asked.

I nodded, tears falling. "I'm terrified" I admitted, wondering how I could have my moods change so quickly. Maybe I was bi-polar. "I'm only 15! how am I meant to do this! Oh no, Esme, maybe this was a bad idea, maybe I should have given him up for adoption... What should I do?! Shit, I'm going to screw it all up and make him turn out worse than me! I don't want him to be worse than me!" I rambled, my hands clenching into the fabric of the jeans.

Esme put her hand on my and her other hand on my cheek, making me calm down slightly. "Bella, your young, yes, but your not in your mind. You've always had to be older than you really are. You shouldn't have put him up for adoption, because you know as well as I do, how great orphanage and foster parents are, well, some of them" She said, smiling and referring to herself as a good foster parents. "And as to what you should do, that easy, try your best. We can go out, get some books, you can learn and I'll be here to help you, the whole time Bella. Remember, I promised I would always help. And I keep my promises. Now, don't stress, because here comes Brandon"

I shot up out of my seat, my fears minimised for the time being from her kind words. Maybe I can ask her to tape it so I can listen whenever I feel like giving him up because I'm not good enough.

I turned my eyes to the door and waited for what seemed like an eternity before Carlisle opened then for the nurse who had been looking after him, and had my baby in her arms.  
I took a hesitant step forward and then stopped. "He's so fragile. So small" I whispered, turning to Esme.

She smiled "Take him, you'll feel a lot better" She whispered.

I held my arms out hesitantly and the nurse helped me hold him. When she thought I wouldn't drop him, he stepped away.

I stared.  
His small feet were covered in white socks that were slightly too big. I could see the hospital band that read 'Charlie Swan, Brandon' on it as well as some numbers. He had on a blue onsie that button on the front and then his hands were resting on his stomach. I bent down and smelled him before allowing myself to look at his face. I let out a small 'oh' when I did. His brown hair rested smoothly on his head, baby hair, it would probably soon fall out. His eyes were shut closed and his nose was slightly upturned and pink. His lips were pouted out in a small line.  
I smiled. He was beautiful. And what was better. He looked nothing like... like his father.

Then, he did something that made me almost drop him. He frowned, squirmed before letting out a small 'Ah' and then curling deeper into my side.

I smiled at him, "Brandon" I whispered. "I'm sorry I wasn't here, but I am now. And I promise never to leave you again"

"Honey, are you ready to go home?" Esme asked, taking Carlisle's hand.  
I nodded "Do I need to sign anything? Say I have him? Or something"

Carlisle shook his head "Already taken care of. Honey, he's yours"  
"This, is probably the best day of my life" I said, sincerely. I turned to the nurse who I had known now because of her taking care of him. "Thank you so much." I whispered, "Did you... did you want to say goodbye?"  
She smiled and leant in to kiss his hand. "Bye Brandon" She then turned to me. "Your lucky, he's a quiet one"

I thanked her again before following my new parents, with my new baby, out the sliding doors and into my new life... our new life.

* * *

"Okay, Bella, there are a few things we want to tell you before we introduce you to everyone" Carlisle said, but I barely heard him, I was too busy staring at the face of Brandon, sleeping silently in his car seat beside me. He was my miracle.

"Bella?!" Esme said, earning my attention.  
I blushed and apologised. "What did you want to tell me?"

"We'll, firstly, you know Alice doesn't remember you, but she also has some scarring on her arms, which she doesn't like pointed out. It makes her self concious. Edward and Emmett, there pretty insane, but there lovely boys, they may wrestle, but they wont hurt you, not on purpose" Esme said kindly.

"We will get you a mobile phone, your own bank account and a weekly allowance" Carlisle explained "Also, a credit card, for emergencies"  
Esme chuckled "And Alice believes each pair of boots she 'must have' are emergencies"

"Yes, we'll, the card is meant for emergencies, but its okay if you use it. Where not strict. Also, just know, you can eat or use anything in the house. I don't know how the other people treated you with food, but know that our pantry is open to you"  
I nodded, slowly taking it all in. "You really don't have to give me an allowance, or a credit card... or a phone. I haven't had any of that, or will need it... I just want a room, or a bed, and some food" Then I hid my head "And not to be hit"  
Esme nodded sadly "We will give you everything you want honey, and no one will ever hit you. We promise, remember. Also, with the other things, there ours to give to you. We want to, we don't have to"  
"We'll, thank you. I really appreciate it"

Carlisle smiled. "Ready to meet everyone?" He asked, helping me out and then helping me get Brandon out.

I nodded and hugged him close as I stared up at the Cullen's huge home, my home now.

"I love remodelling." Esme admitted, as if it was a guilty pleasure. "If you want your room re-done, or Brandon's then let me know."

"Wait, we get our own room?" I asked.

She nodded.

"Oh... I had expected to share" I mumbled.

"I left the main things for you to decide, but I've bought your furniture, I hope that's okay"  
I nodded.  
"Once your settled in, we can work out colour ideas"  
Wow, so many things.

Carlisle placed his hand on my lower back and guided me softly up the porch.  
"Do you want me to hold him?" Esme asked "You might want your hands free with this bunch"  
I nodded and handed my precious bundle over to her, before bracing for the impact.

Carlisle slowly opened the door and there, like they had been drilling this position over and over, Was Emmett, Edward and Alice, all lined up. Above them was a sign, saying 'Welcome to the Cullen's" And underneath that in small writing was "Bella and Brandon"

"Wow" I whispered.

I smiled nervously at the all as I felt there stares at me and Brandon, I began to feel protective.

"I'm Emmett!" Shouted the biggest boy, which I had assumed was him in the first place. "This is Edward"

Edward smiled shyly.

And then, I turned to the small girl on the end.

She opened her mouth. "I'm Alice" She said, strong, happy, powerful, alive and... just... Happy.  
A tear fell down my cheek.

"Oh No, Mum, she's crying" Emmett said, horrified.

I wiped my tear away. "Sorry, It's all a lot to take in. I'm Bella, It's really nice to meet you all" I said, adding a silent, especially you, to Alice.

She smiled at me when my eyes met hers. Then, she bounced over to me. And hugged me.

Carlisle saw and stiffened, not knowing how I was going to react. But I instantly relaxed, 8 or so years of pent up anger, fear and hurt instantly left and I held on. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back. I had dreamed of this moment, and now it was here...

She let go so I did too, although I didn't want to. She smiled at me before peering over at Esme. "OH! He's so cute!" She trilled. "He's name is Brandon? Yeah!? What's his full name?" She asked me, standing on her tip toes to see him better.

"Brandon Charlie Swan" I said, smiling "Brandon after o-" I froze, coughed and restarted. Carlisle shot me a sympathetic look "my mothers maiden name. Charlie was after the first man not to hit me and Swan is my last name."

She awed.

"Lets let Bella get inside" Esme told Alice, who fluttered back to her brothers sides.  
I smiled at them before reaching back for Brandon and breathing in his scent to relax me. "It's really nice to meet you" I said to the two boys, who hadn't moved.

"Can I hold him?" Emmett asked.

I hesitated, his big build, strong arms. Wont he break him?

I looked back at Esme who smiled warmly. "Sit down Emmett, we don't want you to drop him" Esme said, coming over to help me.

Brandon was now in Emmett's arms and I sat beside him, brushing his hair with my fingers. Everything still seemed so surreal.

Edward sat next to Emmett and then Alice sat on the coffee table.

"Where going to let you guys get to know each other" Esme said, before leaving the room with Carlisle.

"Wait, guys, smile!" Carlisle said, before snapping a photo of us all looking at him.

Once he left, Edward laughed "He's so weird"  
"You talk!" I blurted out, covering my mouth.

Emmett began to laugh "Yeah, once your used to everyone and everyone is used to you, then you wont get him to shut up"  
"Hey! I'm not that loud. You should hear Alice, she even sings in the shower"  
"I do not" She pouted, poking her tongue out.

I sighed "Hey guys, can I ask something"

They nodded, curiously.

"Do they, do they ever hit you?" I whispered, knowing it wasn't true, but needed to know from the kids, because they would tell me the truth.

Alice's eyes saddened. "No, they wouldn't ever do something like that. I've been with them for about 8 years and not once have they laid a hand on me."  
I smiled. Happy with there answers.

"Bella" Esme said, "Do you want to come and see your room? Brandon can go to sleep in a real bed"

I nodded, excitedly.

"Can I come!?!" Alice asked, jumping up and down.

Esme nodded and let me get Brandon from Emmett before I followed them all upstairs.

The Cullen's house was 3 stories. The first floor was the lounge, the kitchen, the dinning room and then the 'games room' which is really like the children's play room, it had games, a tv, a bookshelf, a piano and numerous other things. I really liked that room.

On the second floor was Esme and Carlisle's room, there study, Edwards room, and Emmett's room, along with an en-suite for each of them.

On the third floor was Alice's room, with her en-suite, a guest room and then mine and Brandon's room, both with en-suite.  
I came to the conclusion, the Cullen's were loaded.

Esme opened Brandon's door first. It had cream walls and an off white carpet colour. "If you want to change the wall colour, your welcome too. And we can get him a matt or something, so the floor doesn't look so... white" She said, laughing while she looked at it.

In his room, to the left as we walked into it, was his cot, it was a light wood brown and had blue sheets in it. A small giraffe sat to the side. Above the cot, on the wall, were letters spelling out his name.

"I saw them, and I couldn't resist" Esme said, guilty.

I shrugged, they were awesome anyway. They were also white so they went with anything. He also had a change table and then that was pretty much it. I still had to go shopping for everything else. Straight ahead was a glass wall, which startled me. I stared at it in awe.

"Everyone has one" Alice whispered to me. "There pretty awesome"  
I nodded, to the right of the room was two doors, one lead to the bathroom, which he wouldn't need except for the bath, and the other was a walk in robe. Which was too big for a little boy.

I wiped away a tear as I put Brandon into his crib for the first time ever. "I need a camera" I whispered to myself.

"OH!" Alice squealed! "You can borrow mine, until we get you one!"  
How Brandon slept through that squeal, is unknown.

She came back with a baby pink digital camera and let me take a few photos of Brandon sleeping. I really appreciated it.

I wanted to just hug her. Jump her and hold onto her forever. But I had to keep remembering that she didn't know I was her sister, and that until I knew that she wanted to know, and that she wanted to know her past, I wasn't going to tell her.

I took the baby monitor that Esme handed me and followed her into my room. This room was set up more. There was queen size bed with a wooden frame and then a chest of drawers, a desk, two bed side tables and a rocking chair all of the same colour. It all matched perfectly.

It didn't have any character yet, but it would soon, hopefully. The wall facing me was made of glass, like Brandon's, and then there were two doors, one a walk in robe and one a bathroom.

Once I had come out of looking at the bathroom, I stared at Esme and Alice, who seemed to both be bouncing from anticipation, to hear what I thought of it.  
"I've... I've never had so much" I said, feeling strange because I wasn't crying, usually I cried over everything. "I just want to thank you. For letting me come into your home" I said, sincerely.

Alice squealed and launched herself at me again, "Your going to make a great big sister! I can see it now! Where going to do everything together! Your going to be my best friend ever! I'm going to love you so much!" She said, rambling.

But it was those words that brought me over the edge. Esme could tell. At the words 'your going to make a great big sister!' where what made me catch my breath.

"Alice, honey, I think Bella needs to rest. She needs to feed Brandon in an hour, so lets let her nap. Bella, I'll come up when he's awake to help you" She said, pulling a happy, bouncy Alice out of my room.

_Your going to make a great big sister! I can see it now! Where going to do everything together! Your going to be my best friend ever! I'm going to love you so much!_

Tears fell and my heart clenched as I realised, that was how it was meant to be all along.

I fell on my bed and hugged the new pillow. It felt hard and unfamiliar. I wanted a pillow to be mine, that had my head groove in it... that was comfortable and familiar to sleep on. I wanted a pillow that didn't change ever 6months.

I actually couldn't care about a pillow. I only wanted stability. I only wanted... a home. And now that I got one, tears of fear and guilt got buried beneath the tears of joy and happiness.

I was actually happy, despite Alice and her memories. Because I had a feeling, that either way, we were going to be great sisters... I just had to start again.

Start Again.

**Okay. I know some of you didn't want Bella to keep the baby, but I stayed with my original plan. So sorry if you now hate the story, please don't dis me though.**

**  
I really appreciate all the love and reviews I have been given. It means a lot to me, it really does.**

I would also really appreciate more love and reviews :P * hint hint * * wink wink * :D

**Lol, **

**Review, please, its that button, below here. With green writing! Just press it... please?**

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Love.... Bexta 03!**

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	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry about the chapter mix up. It was almost 1am when i was uploading it and I just wanted to go to sleep, but I felt bad because I hadn't updated anything in a while. So I got it in and must have clicked the wrong chapter. So I'm really sorry, but this is the proper Chapter 8. **

**Thanks to everyone who let me know it was the wrong one, hopefully your not too peeved at me :)**

Chapter nine

I must have fallen asleep when Esme left the room because the next thing I remember is being woken by the sound of Brandon's soft cries. I panicked for a moment, trying to work out what was wrong, but then realised he must be hungry.

Feeding him was an experience. Esme helped me get him to 'latch' on, using the nurses terminology. She also said that if I got too tired during nights, that she could feed him the formula milk. She said that she didn't mind helping and that feeding both types of milk wont hurt him.

Once I finished feeding him, he was wide awake and gurgling. Esme quietly left me alone and I laid down next to him, making sure he couldn't fall off the bed.

"Brandon Charlie Swan" I whispered as his eyes roamed the room. "How I love you so much"

His eyes then met mine for a brief second, before leaving and looking around again.

I smiled and stroked his head. This boy was my tie to the world now. He needed me more than anyone at the moment and I promise him, and myself to always be there.  
I smiled as I began to sing my favourite nursery rhyme, one that held so many memories

"_Hush, little baby, don't say a word,  
Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. _

If that mockingbird won't sing,  
Mama's going to buy you a diamond ring.

If that diamond ring turns brass,  
Mama's going to buy you a looking glass.

If that looking glass gets broke,  
Mama's going to buy you a billy goat.

If that billy goat won't pull,  
Mama's going to buy you a cart and bull.

If that cart and bull turn over,  
Mama's going to buy you a dog named Rover.

If that dog named Rover won't bark,  
Mama's going to buy you a horse and cart.

If that horse and cart fall down,  
You'll still be the sweetest little boy in town.

So hush little baby, don't be scared,

_Mama's always going to be right here"_

BUt the sad thing was. I couldn't buy any of those things. I couldn't get him a mockingbird, whatever that was, or even a dog. because right this second, I litterally had no money at all. But there was one thing i could always give him: love.

I smiled when I saw he had fallen asleep, and I laid my head next to his, my cheek pressing against his. "I love you Brandon" I whispered, kissing his nose, and then his forehead, and then his little mouth.

….................

I put him in his bed and took the monitor downstairs with me, paranoid to leave him upstairs by himself to go down without it.

I sat on the couch and put it on the table, turning to look at what everyone was doing. It didn't feel like it, but it was still only my first day here. Everyone seemed so comfortable, and everything seemed to... right.

"Bella, wanna see my room?!" Alice asked, bouncing.

I smiled "Sure" I said, reaching for the monitor.  
"Leave it honey, I'll listen for him" Esme promised.

I followed Alice upstairs to our floor and then let her lead the way to the door with the wooden letters spelling 'Alice'. I smiled at the writing.

She opened the door to reveal a princess room, basically. It was what I imagined the Alice I knew, to have dreamed about. The walls were a light purple, and then one was a glass window. On her walls were framed photos, pictures and posters of everything and everyone. She had a big double bed with posts that held up soft white fabric, creating a frame around the bed. Opposite her bed was a TV and then her desk, as well as the two doors which were her wardrobe and bathroom.

I walked over to her bedside table and picked up the only photo frame not on the wall. I gasped when I realised what it was.

My mothers face, one which I haven't seen in over 8 years, stared back at me, happy and smiling. In her arms was a two year old Alice, laughing at something the photographer was doing. Then behind them was me, 7years old, unscared and still happy. My eyes showed that. I had one arm around my mother while the other was reaching down to hold Alice's hand. But what hurt me the most, was all the memories coming back from this photo, and the small spots of blood that it had accumulated.

"Who's this?" I asked Alice casually, wanting to know if it held some sort of meaning to her. Because if it didn't. I wanted it.

She smiled slightly "Mum and Dad, they say it was my family before... well, my, biological family, before I was adopted"

I nodded sadly.

"I've always wondered where the dad is.... and what there names are"

"Melissa and Bella" I whisper automatically and before I could stop myself.

"Huh?" Alice asked, still looking at the photo, slowly tracing the outline of my face.

"Nothing... do you wonder where your big sister is?" I asked.

She shrugged "Yeah, but I figure if I can't remember her, then she mustn't have been very nice... either of them. If someone truly meant the world to me, or even slightly important... why didn't I remember them"

My heart hurt. Tears grew and before I could stop them, they slipped over the sides. The photo fram seemed to slowly drop to the floor, then it laid there, still staring at me "Sorry" I gasped and then fled the room.

I closed my door and locked it, surprised there was a lock, before flinging myself onto my bed and sobbing.

Alice thought I was a bad sister. She thought I didn't love her. She didn't care about me because she couldn't remember.

I heard Brandon crying and got up immediately and unlocked the door, finding Alice nervously standing there.

"I'm sorry Bella, I don't know what I did..."  
I shook my head, and walked into Brandon's room. Esme had come up now and helped me change his nappy. Then, she saw my face. I shook my head again and gave her Brandon. "can you watch him? I want to go for a walk" I said, and when she nodded, I sprinted out of the hallway, down the stairs, flung on my boots and jacket before going out into the town.

They live a bit out of Seattle, not in the city but in the forest, half way to Forks.

I walked down the path in the forest and when I was a bit away from the house I sat down and buried my face in my cold hands.

I must had sat there for about 20minutes before Carlisle had come and sat next to me. He rubbed his hands together "Wow, it's cold"  
I nodded, my head still in my hands.

"So, you want to tell what happened?"  
I shook my head, tears forming again.

"Alice said that she was showing you the photo of her other family, your family. She didn't know what she said that was so wrong"

I shrugged.

"Bella, tell me" He said sternly.

I sighed and lifted my head "She said that because she couldn't remember me, that I mustn't have been a very good sister"

"Bella, I know that must have been hard. But you know she didn't know what she was saying. Now, I know you wanted to wait until you told her about you, but we can all see, it's not working out very well. Tomorrow, I'm going to sit down with her, and tell her I found out new information which might awaken her memory, and ask her if she wants to try or not. If she does, then we can introduce you as her actual sister, if not, then she wont have to know. Is this okay Bella?"  
"Um... huh... I suppose... there's not much option, because this isn't working, obviously"

He nodded and stood, reaching out his hand. I smiled and grabbed it, and stood up with his help.  
We walked back together, and I was happy with the company, I hadn't had company like this in so long.

Once back at the Cullen's I found Alice sitting on the couch, 10 years old and tiny, her eyes red rimmed laying next to her was Brandon, staring at the ceiling. I smiled sadly when she saw me come in. "I'm sorry Alice, I didn't mean to freak you out, you didn't do anything. I promise" I said, coming over to sit next to her.

She smiled back and then turned to Brandon "He's really pretty" she told me, smiling brighter at me when I knelt next to him.

"Hey Brandon" I said in a baby-ish voice. "This is Aunty Alice" I said.

She laughed when she heard what I called her. "I'm only 10!" She said.

I shrugged "And when he's 10, you'll be 20, it works" I said, patting her knee.

"Aunty Alice" I heard her whisper.

* * *

The night was long.. and tiring. I had to get up about every 2 hours to feed Brandon. Esme came in the first few times, but after the 3rd, I told her to sleep, I'd do it.

But when I did end up falling asleep, I would wake up 30minutes after in a cold sweat, always having the same dream, the same memory coming back to haunt my mind:

_I heard footsteps coming closer and closer to the closet door, and then it was ripped open and the light poured in. But blocking half that light, was my father. Kevin Swan. The man I have been terrified of since the moment I could understand that word. "Daddy" I whispered. My hands holding the gun behind my back. Shaking in fear._

"_Bella, come right here" He said, pulling me by my arm. I was yanked forward, the gun still hiding behind me._

"_Follow me, let me show you what happens if you disobey me" He said angrily, walking toward our kitchen._

_A small bubble of fear broke in my stomach and the butterflies began to dance. I crept behind him, not wanting to, but having no choice but to follow him.  
What I saw in the kitchen, leaves me silenced. My once pretty mother now barely had a face that I could recognise. The blood was... everywhere... there was so much. Her arms and legs laid useless in the bloody pool beside her. Beside her was the Cullen's dead, life less body, there own blood mixing in with my mothers. Beside them was Alice, my once beautiful sister now had jagged cuts down her face. And then, right in front of me, was the small body of my son, Brandon. Blood on the edge of his mouth was all there was... but it was enough to have my biggest fears come true... _

Then I woke up, crying in my sleep and very sweaty. And then, Brandon would wake up, hungry and cranky.

When morning came. I was exhausted.

* * *

"Bella?!" I heard Emmett shout.  
My head shot up from the breakfast counters table to see Emmett, looking at me with amusement. I could see my blood shot eyes in the microwave reflection behind him and I cringed at the black circles building.

"coffee?" he asked, sliding the cup over to me.

I smelled the drink and cringed.

He frowned "Haven't you ever had it?"  
I shook my head "Only the necessities, and when I was with Charlie and Renee, I never had the need, I always got to sleep fine"

"We'll, drink it, it should help, hopefully"

So I did, I drank the cup of warm liquid and found myself brighten towards the end. Brandon was on the floor in the lounge room, lying on the blanket spread listening to Carlisle, who was sitting next to him, reading. I rested my head again and watched him talk slowly and surely, reading from a thick novel. Why wasn't he reading a child's book?

"Bella, dear, When Alice gets up, I'm planning on talking to her with Esme, is that okay?" He asked me.

I nodded, my head still on the counter.

Emmett bounced over to Brandon and started playing, even though my son couldn't respond yet.

Edward came down and began to get breakfast.  
"Don't you guys have school?" I mumbled.

He shook his head, laughing slightly "Its Sunday Bella, meaning, its the weekend. Wow, you didn't get any sleep, did you?"

I shook my head. "My head hurts. Do you guys have Panadole?" I asked, placing a cheek against the counter now, instead of on my hands.

"How many hours of sleep do you think you got?" Carlisle asked, coming over to help me, he placed a hand on my forehead.

I shrugged "3?" I estimated.

He frowned "Brandon didn't get up that much..."  
I shook my head "Couldn't sleep" I mumbled and then took the two pills, hoping to get rid of the pain.

I got up and laid down next to my boy, happy he was quiet. He stared at me for a moment, his baby blue eyes the only aspect of... _him_... that I could see. The rest was me, my mum, and Alice. It seemed he got all our qualities, and none of the two men who he could have looked like: my father, and my first... foster father.

I sat up and picked up my baby cuddling him close. He cooed and gurgled at me.

"Your my little Brandon" I said happily. His eyes locked on mine and he gurgled.

Alice came down, fully dressed and bouncing. "Good morning Bella!" She sang, leaning down to kiss Brandon's nose before skipping to get her breakfast.

I stared after her, "Wow... is she... is she always like that?"  
Emmett chuckled and nodded "Yeah, she's unusually high. We think it was her hit to the noggin, did some where damage that keeps her awake" He joked.

I laughed too, uneasily, things about her accident are always... uncomfortable.

I moved to sit on the couch and smiled when I realised Brandon was falling asleep. That was all he did. Eat, sleep and poop. I yawned and laid down, placing him on my chest. He seemed calmed by my heart beat and the rising and lowering of my chest and soon, he was breathing slowly. I soon followed and fell asleep quickly.

"Bella?" I heard Edward call softly.

I opened my eyes to find him sitting beside me. "hey" I whispered back.

"Carlisle wants you in his study, He sent me down to awake you from the dead. Esme's coming in a second to get Brandon"

I smiled and carefully sat up, handing him Brandon and then thanking him. I went upstairs and knocked on his study door.

"Come in" I heard Carlisle call.  
I opened the door and froze. Shocked at what I saw. Carlisle was sitting on his couch and then beside him sat Alice.

"I was about to tell Alice of her past, and I told her that you had a huge part to do with it. So she asked me to let you tell it, she said it might help her remember" He explained.

"You want me... to tell you?" I whispered.

She nodded "Please. I really want to remember who you are, and what you mean to me. As well as what happened to my family"

Would I be able to live through explaining the whole thing to her? Would I be able to describe my most horrifing moments? Would I be able to tell her that I killed my father and put many people in jail? Would I be able to do this? Would I actually be able to face my sister, once she knew the truth?

**Sorry it took forever. Please forgive ;)**

**3 Bexta**

**P.S. Reviews would be great.**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter ten

Carlisle smiled and stood, "I'll let you two have some privacy" He told us, before heading to the door.

"Wait" I said, panicked. "What do I tell her?" I asked.

He patted my shoulder. "All of it"

"The details as well? Like... how they died?"

He nodded, "It's best that she knows it all, It'll let her memory come back better. But I've told her that if it gets too much, for her to tell you to stop so she can take in a few things"

I nodded and moved out of the way for him to leave and closed the door behind him. I stood awkwardly in front of her, "um... so, where do you want me to start?" I asked, sliding against the wall and sitting on the floor, my back leaning against the plaster.

She went to move closer but I shook my head. "If I'm going to be saying the things I think I'm going to be saying, I need distance... no offence"

She nodded "Okay" She whispered, pulling her legs to her chest and hugging them. "Who are you?" She asked.

"Isabella Marie Swan"

"Who am I?" She asked, slowly.

I took a deep breath "Mary Alice Swan"

She didn't have the reaction that I thought of, I thought she might get upset, or worried. But instead, she stayed silent. Staring at me. "Why am I called Alice?" She asked.

I laughed, "We'll, your favourite story was Alice in wonderland. And because your middle name was Alice, you demanded that we all called you that now... and then it just stuck."

She smiled "I like Alice in Wonderland"

I nodded, sadly, remembering some of the happier memories of my time with my real family.

"So, are you... we are? Your my sister?" She asked quietly. Then she quietly put two and two together "So that's why you got so upset? After seeing the picture... oh Bella I'm so sorry..."

I nodded "Look, this is really hard for me, so can I just go and tell you the whole thing rather than this question and answer time? Cause I don't think I'll be able to start again once I begin"

She slid onto the floor and moved closer. I moved my legs up to my chest, and hugged them. "Alright. So, when you were born, everyone was happy... even Daddy, which was a surprise... I remember the first time I met you, I was only 5 years old But I still remember it clearly, because I remember the fear I had for you, for coming into this family...

"_Bella, Come on sweety" my dad said, taking my hand.  
I winced and pulled back, rubbing my bruised arm. My Daddy hit us, but he said that he wasn't going to any more, because there was a baby in the house and that this baby was going to be good luck. _

_But if I was that baby, I would run, or crawl, as fast as I could away from this family, because I don't think she was going to be safe here._

_I followed Daddy into the room and hurried over to Mummy. She had been in here for three days now, and I had been home with Daddy... alone. She smiled at me and rubbed my shoulder before patting the bed beside her. I climbed up and peered into her arms._

"_Bella, this is your new sister. Mary Alice Swan" My mummy told me, well, now its our mummy._

_I heard the door close and turned, our Daddy had gone, probably to go smoke.  
My mummy's face turned hard. "Has he hit you baby?" She asked me._

_I nodded sadly "but mummy, what if he hits Mary, I don't want him to hit her"_

_She smiled "I don't want him to hit either of you. And I promise baby, one day, were going to get away. Your all going to be safe one day"_

_I turned to my new sister, Mary, her blue eyes were going everywhere, and then they rested on me and I knew that second, I had to protect her._

"I was scared for you because I knew Dad wasn't going to change." I told her.

She frowned "So, our father, he hit us?"

"Yeah, Kevin Swan. He didn't start hitting you until you were about 1 and a half. But that's only because Mum always gave you to me and locked us in the closet. She wasn't home the first day he hit you.... She blamed me though." I shook back a sob and smiled at Alice, who had her own tears. "Are you remembering anything?"

She shook her head. "Sorry"

"Maybe its because you were too young... you weren't even two then."

"what happened the day our parents died? Why did they die?" She asked in a whisper.

I scooted closer to her, wanting to hold her so I could have the comfort as well. But I didn't... because I didn't know what she would think.

"It was dark, and I remember our Mother, well she was really scared. She told me she was going to try to get us out of here. That she had had enough of all the beatings. She locked us in the closet and told us not to come out, no matter what we heard."

I started to cry. "It was so hard for me to sit through it. But you didn't know what was going on, you were scared so I had to stay there with you. I sung to you, but I couldn't because then he started yelling and Daddy was so mad" 

"_BITCH!" we both heard it and we both dreaded it. It was the voice of Daddy._

_Alice shook "Daddy's home" She whispered. It was eerie, a small 2 year old saying 'Daddy's home' with utter fear._

_We heard banging "Where are my children bitch?" He said loudly._

_I heard a large thud, shaking the small house we were in. "They are of no concern to you Kevin, I am putting my foot down! You are not welcome here any more" _

_I swallowed and held Alice closer, my hand pressing down on her ear. Hoping she will not hear any of this._

"_Fucker! How dare you" he screamed "I will kill you before you take away my family"_

"I found the gun, that they had in the closet for emergencies. And I took it in case I needed it. I didn't want to use it" I sobbed. "I hid you behind the clothes. Because I knew something bad had happened"

_We listened carefully. The banging had increased now and there was now screaming. We knew who was screaming._

"_You will never take away my family. I will always find my girls. Always. And you, Melissa, will now be out of the picture" Daddy said to Mummy._

_Then there was a large bang and someone sounding as if they couldn't breathe, like the time Daddy held my head under water while I was taking a bath. _

_Once all the sounds stopped, we could hear someone breathing, heavily. I knew who it was, and it was not the person we wanted._

"Our father... he killed her! He killed the only person who has ever loved me" I chocked out. "And then, and then he came back for us!"

_I heard footsteps coming closer and closer to the closet door, and then it was ripped open and the light poured in. But blocking half that light, was my father. Kevin Swan. The man I have been terrified of since the moment I could understand that word. "Daddy" I whispered. My hands holding the gun behind my back. Shaking in fear._

"_Bella, come right here" He said, pulling me by my arm. I was yanked forward, the gun still hiding behind me._

"_Follow me, let me show you what happens if you disobey me" He said angrily, walking toward our kitchen._

_A small bubble of fear broke in my stomach and the butterflies began to dance. I crept behind him, not wanting to, but having no choice but to follow him._

"But you were hidden, so he only got me. And I had to... I had to follow him out to the kitchen. Where mum, she was... she was dead! There was so much blood"

_What I saw in the kitchen, leaves me silenced. My once pretty mother now barely had a face that I could recognise. The blood was... everywhere... there was so much. Her arms and legs laid useless in the bloody pool beside her. I let a small sound escape me before I vomited beside the redness._

_My father did not like my fear, or vomit._

"I threw up... and he didn't like that. He thought I was filthy"

"_Disgusting. I can't live with a piece of trash like you, come here. I will make it quick" He said, pulling out a knife the size of my leg._

"_No" I pleaded, tears falling. I backed away._

_He stepped closer and grabbed my hair. "no? You do not disobey me." Then he cut off my hair, laughing hysterical._

"_No Daddy, please" I cried as the knife came to my chest. _

"He wanted to kill me!" I cried. "So I had to do something, I had to stay alive, for you Alice... I couldn't die while knowing you were still in danger"

I took a deep breathe, it seemed to shake in my throat. "So I did what I had to do... I shot him"

_I couldn't think, my heartbeat was loud in my ears as I pulled my arms in front of me, and then pulling down hard on the trigger. Daddy looked shocked, he looked like he was in pain. He fell forward and his knife cut through my arm, a long gash opening me up, my own blood pooling out of my cut._

_I dropped the gun to the floor and then collapsed onto my knees. _

"I have never said that before" I whispered, my growing pain becoming intensified. "I've never ever said that. They never asked me! I'm a murder.... I killed someone! I should go to jail!" I started to panic and I held my legs closer to me.

"Bella, are you okay?" A small voice asked me.

I saw Alice, tears on her face, and it was her face that pulled me back. "I'm sorry" I whispered.

She frowned "Why are you sorry? You did what you had to do. Self defence is not murder"

I shook. "But its still killing someone... and worse... It was my father"

She shook her head. "Bella..." 

"No, I don't want to talk about whether it was bad or not." 

"I remember" She whispered, sounding surprised. "I remember coming into the kitchen. I didn't get to see anything cause you blocked me... but I remember the blood on your arm... and how scared I was because I thought you were going to die"

"You remember? Really? Everything?"

She smiled, but it looked pained. "I think so... I remember Mrs.... Mrs. Tailor? She looked after us as the orphanage... but she wasn't nice... she hit us. I wet the bed? And you... you took the blame"

"Alice... your actually Alice again? You remember?"

She nodded.

I made some sort of noise before flinging myself at her and hugging her. This time, not letting go because I couldn't. I simply couldn't let her go... ever again.

* * *

That night we had a small celebration. We celebrated Alice's memory and we celebrated Brandon and I's addition to the Cullen family. I felt, for the first time ever, that I belonged somewhere. And I actually wanted to stay here. I wanted to live here.

I was going to bed when Esme and Carlisle stopped me. "Bella, we want you to consider therapy. We could all hear you crying when you had to tell Alice those things, and we know it wasn't easy. So we also know, that you must be fighting a internal battle inside you mind" Carlisle said softly. We were just outside my door, so Brandon might be woken up.

"I'll think about it..."  
"Where also thinking of offering it to Alice... because I'm sure some memories are coming back to her now"

I nodded. "Yeah... she might have nightmares. She did when we were in the orphanage"

The nodded sadly. "We'll keep an ear for her" Esme promised before hugging me lightly and then going back downstairs with Carlisle.

I went into my own room and fell asleep quickly. Only because I was exhausted.

_Bright blue eyes stared back at me. Bright but empty eyes. "How could you keep this from me? How could you not tell me the moment you knew I was here?" Alice's voice rang out from the blackness of the room.  
I couldn't see anything. I couldn't even see my hand in front of my face. It was dark. It was too dark._

"_I hate you" Alice whispered, as her eyes, the only form of light, began to drift backwards._

"_No" I shouted, beginning to run for her._

"_I hate you Bella... your brought back all my fears" She cried._

_No! Alice NO! I tried to scream, but my voice was gone and I couldn't speak. I couldn't even move now. I was trapped. Trapped alone. Trapped in the dark._

"NO!" I screamed out loud as I shot up from my bed. Crying on the monitor told me Brandon was awake.

I quickly got up and ran to the door, flicking on the switch. It was too dark... way too dark.

I quickly went into Brandon's room and fed him while sitting on the rocking chair, and then changing him and putting him back to bed. Once he was asleep again, I went to go back to my own room, but stopped. I could hear crying. Alice was having a nightmare.

I went inside and climbed onto her bed, hugging her softly so she would know I was there but didn't freak and wake up.

I firstly began to hum, but then started singing. The song I promised would always be sung to her.

"_Hush, little baby, don't say a word,  
Bella's going to buy you a mockingbird. _

If that mockingbird won't sing,  
Bella's going to buy you a diamond ring.

If that diamond ring turns brass,

Bella's going to buy you a looking glass.

If that looking glass gets broke,  
Bella's going to buy you a billy goat.

If that billy goat won't pull,  
Bella's going to buy you a cart and bull.

If that cart and bull turn over,  
Bella's going to buy you a dog named Rover.

If that dog named Rover won't bark,  
Bella's going to buy you a horse and cart.

If that horse and cart fall down,  
You'll still be the sweetest little girl in town.

So hush little baby, don't be scared,

_Bella's always going to be right here"_

**Alice remembers! Yay. Now Bella may be able to live happily... if it wasn't for the bad dreams... hmm, do I hear... therapy?? * hint hint ***

**~ Bexta**

**P.s I want to know how far you guys want this story to go? Do you want me to stop once Bella has worked out everything and is happy?**

**Or do you want me to go on into her adult years and raising Brandon?**

**Or should I stop this story and then make a sequel....**

**Or something else...?**

**let me know**


	11. Chapter 11

**Lets say that Brandon was born on May the 3rd :)**

Chapter eleven

**4 months later**

Brandon was now almost 5 months old (because he was premature), he is now being fed from formula milk, because feedings became too hard and exhausting, so Esme began to feed him from a bottle... now he just uses that. He can lift his head when he's on his stomach and play with little toys, which is too cute. He can smile and he smiles a lot. Usually mostly at Emmett, who I think he thinks is hilarious.

He loves all the Cullen's and lets them and myself hold him. But I was at the library one day and one of the ladies asked to hold him and he freaked out. So I think he's shy towards unknown people.

He can also almost roll over, and if we place a toy out of his reach, he gets angry right away and almost demands it back. Its really funny to watch what amuses him. He's becoming his own person.

I have been doing better, but haven't started therapy yet, because I wanted to concentrate on Brandon rather than my own thoughts. I was actually going to my first session today, after much convincing from Esme, who says Brandon will be fine with her and Carlisle for a few hours. I haven't left him alone with anyone yet.

Alice has gone to therapy though, and she is doing a lot better. She doesn't have nightmares any more and now she remembers everything and has stopped the strange memories from coming back at random times.

Alice and I are now best friends. As well as sisters.

Edward and I have grown close too, probably closer than Emmett and I, I don't know why, but something about him just clicks with me.

Emmett is hilarious and always makes me smile. I love him like a brother and actually wish he was my real one.

Carlisle has been great, and so has Esme. There the best parents and I have grown to care and love them a lot. I don't think I could ask for anyone better. I think I finally hit the jackpot.

* * *

Therapy was hard. I sat in the chair, telling this stranger some of my darkest secrets. She just kept asking questions and all I wanted to do was for her to shut up. We didn't get to any serious problems, but she did make me relieve a few of my childhood memories.

_I was 6 years old and in the bath. The water wasn't deep because we couldn't afford much. Daddy was asleep in his room and Mummy was with Mary. I was supposed to be very quiet and not wake him up, because he would get angry._

_A large bang from outside made me jump and then pause, hoping Daddy wasn't up now. But he was. I could hear him banging around in the opposite room and then in the hallway. His footsteps came closer and closer until the bathroom door swung open. He grumbled at me and told me off, slapping my cheek hard. He then grabbed my head and pushed it under the water._

"What do you remember when you were underwater?" The lady asked me.

I wiped away a tear "I remember... I remember thinking: I wish I could stop breathing. I remember actually thinking, praying, that my father would hold me under there until I couldn't breath. I was 6 and wanted to die!"

"But why did you want to die?" She asked.

I cried softly, holding my face in my hands. "Because I was scared all the time. I didn't go to school, I wasn't allowed out of the house and I remember on that day, I hadn't eaten in the past 4 days. I was hungry, tired, sick and sore. I just wanted to stop the pain"

"What made you go on? How did you manage to survive after knowing you actually thought of dying?"  
I shrugged and wiped my cheeks, sniffing away the tears as I tried to compose myself. "Alice. I knew she was still there. I knew she still needed me"

The therapist, who I knew was called Tracy, smiled "So your sister means a lot to you?"  
"Yes. She was what got me through it all. I thought during some points of my life... that I wasn't going to make it... and it was her, the thought that she needed me... that got me going. So, I would take a bullet for her... I've already shot one"

Tracy looked worried before she wrote something down and then smiled. "Alright Bella. You've made great progress.. but our hour is up and I think Dr. Cullen is outside waiting for you."  
I wiped my cheeks again, blew my nose and then stood. Well, that made me worse than I already am! Now I'm thinking about all these things and rather her saying something nice and helpful, she tells me my hour is over! Jeeze... But I expected it to get better... hopefully, soon.

I went out to find Carlisle reading a small magazine, he smiled at me before leading me outside.

….................

Tomorrow was the 13th of September. Probably the worst day of the year. My birthday had never really been celebrated... which is really depressing. I can't remember the last present I got and I don't even want to remember a few of my birthdays.

As I walked upstairs with a really hyper Brandon, I was stopped. "Tomorrow is your special day Bella, are you planning anything?" Esme asked.

"No...."  
She smiled "We'll good" Then she disappeared downstairs. Hmm... there up to something.

I managed to put Brandon to sleep an hour later. Never again will I let Emmett read him a bed time story.

And by the time he did go to sleep, it was about 8 so I went into my own room and watched a movie until I too fell asleep, the lights still on because for some reason... I had become afraid of the dark.

* * *

Singing woke me up that morning and I actually smiled. I opened my eyes to find Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Edward, Alice and even Brandon, who was sitting on the foot of my bed, all standing there smiling and singing 'Happy Birthday'

It was like a actual family.

Brandon was sitting at the end of my bed, a pillow behind him so he didn't fall. He was clapping his hands and making some weird noises, probably trying to sing.

I smiled at him and he squealed with delight, holding out his hands to me and opening and closing his fists. I leaned over and pulled him close, hugging him dearly.  
"Happy Birthday Bella. These are from all of us" Esme said, handing me two small packages.

"Which one do I open first" I asked, tears forming.

Alice climbed up next to me, scooting under the covers and resting her head on my shoulder. "What's wrong?"

I shrugged "this is... these will be my first present... for a birthday... ever. Even when I was with Mum and Dad, all those years ago, they didn't have enough money to get me anything."  
Esme came over and hugged me. "I know it must be hard to go through, but your mother loved you. And so do we. She would want you to be happy"  
Carlisle kissed me head before pointing to the slightly bigger parcel. "Open that one first"

I heard Emmett and Edward groan. "But the other one is more exciting!"

Alice laughed "Yes, but you both know she'll like this one more"

I slid my finger into the edge of the paper and tore it open, Brandon pulling it down to his level to help me. Once we got the wrapping off I was holding a black case. Opening it with shaky fingers, I found a bracelet pinned on a velvet base.

"Oh" I said, surprised. "Its... its so pretty" I took it out of the case and found it to be a delicate chain, threading in and out of one another. Hanging off the chain were little charms. It was a charm bracelet.

"They all mean something" Alice informed me.

"That one, the smile, is me, because you said I always make you laugh" Emmett said, earning a laugh from myself.

"The piano is from me, because you like it when I play" Edward said happily.

"The heart is from me" Esme said, pointing to a small heart. "To show and remind you, how much your loved"

"The little crest there, represents a Cullen, and it is from me and the whole family, to show you that you belong here now"

"The two people hugging is me and you, because where sisters and always will be" Alice said, kissing my cheek.

I looked at the last one and smiled. "Brandon?" I asked, fiddling with the small baby boot.

Esme nodded "That is to remind you of how needed you are, not only from your baby, but by everyone now... because everyone loves you"

I wiped tears away as Esme took the bracelet and put it on my wrist. I silently promised to never take it off, because it is a sign of happiness... something that I have thankfully found.

"Now, open your next one!!" Emmett said suddenly, and loudly.  
I did as I was told and gasped at the small key in my hand. "No..." I said, shocked.

Everyone laughed as they all helped me out of bed and pushed me toward the door and downstairs.

Esme had Brandon and was taking pictures while following behind.

At the front door, the pushed me out onto the porch and I silently held a battle to not turn and run from surprise. There, parked just in front of me, was a new car... well, I think it was new. It was a new shiny black Volvo.

I chuckled and looked at Edward, who shrugged. "You said my car was great for Brandon because it was safe"

I turned and hugged Carlisle and then Esme and then Alice and then Emmett and then Edward, all the time whispering thank you.

"We'll Bella, you got your license yesterday... are you going to go for a spin?" Esme asked.

"I'M COMMING" Alice yelled, running and going to go into the front, but Edward beat her to it. She huffed but climbed into the back seat.

I smiled at Esme and Carlisle, and frowned at Emmett. "You coming?"  
He sadly shook his head. "Dad here told me not too, said I'd be too much of a distraction"  
I laughed and took his hand "Come on!"

Once we were all seated in the car, safety, I turned it on and smiled when there was barely a sound I began to drive down the hill, with my siblings, in my new car... in our pyjama's.

* * *

"Goodnight guys, thank you, so much, for everything" I told Esme and Carlisle as I passed there bedroom door, going to get ready for bed.

"Your welcome Bella" Carlisle said, smiling.

I went to go but paused and went in and hugged them both. "I really mean it, thank you"  
Esme smiled "Your welcome darling"  
"We love you" Carlisle told me.  
I paused at the door way and turned to look at them. Carlisle was holding Esme's hand above the blankets. Carlisle was smiling warmly while Esme was nodded. "We think of you as our daughter more and more each day" She said.

"I... I don't know what to say...." I said, surprised.

They both looked at me with nothing but respect, love and that parental look that only parents can have. "We don't expect you to say anything" Esme told me.

"We just wanted you to know. You and Brandon, you are both loved" Carlisle added  
I wiped away a tear "I... I l...love you two... too" I choked out. And it felt so good. "I love you both... and... and I'm happy here... really... really happy. I could never have asked for better parents"

And I meant every word.

I was finally safe.

* * *

**Review please... pretty please. All of you!**


	12. Chapter 12

**This isn't the end of the story, don't worry :) I am just deciding to skip ahead to where Brandon can be more involved at a older age, and everyone is settling into something more determined. **

**So, to sum all the ages up so where all not confused: **

**Brandon is 2 ½, he walks, talks and does all that stuff :P**

**Bella is now about 17 years old. **

**Alice is 12 and has started high school**

**Edward is 17 years old and Emmett is 19 years old.**

**enjoy, hopefully**

Chapter twelve

**2 years later**

"Bella! Are you coming today? Or was the past week all talk and no action?" Edward called from downstairs.

I laughed. "I'll be done in 2 seconds" I shouted back before turning to Brandon who was sitting on the bed, playing with cars.

"Mummy has to go to school today" I told him, secretly excited about my return to the education world. "Your going to stay with Grandma and Grandpa"

"Okay Mummy" He said, happy about the fact he's staying with Grandma and Grandpa, Esme and Carlisle. Ever since he could talk he called them that. They were actually excited about the fact. And are very proud to introduce Brandon as there 'Grandbaby' to all there friends.

Today was my first day of high school, well, my first day back. I was going to Seattle High with Edward and Alice. I was going to be in year 11 with Edward and Alice is just starting today as well, in year 7. Emmett had graduated last year and was now usually rubbing it in.

I took Brandon's hand and led him downstairs with me, my backpack slung on one shoulder. Once downstairs, Carlisle picked him up and kissed my head. "Have a good day Bella, you call if you need anything" He told me. "Say goodbye to Mummy"

Brandon stared at me for one moment, wide eyed and worried. "Why?" He asked.

"Bella, this happens a lot when parents leave there child for a while. He'll be good in a bit once you leave" Esme reassured me.

I nodded, and then leaned in to kiss his cheek. "I'm going to be late, I have to go. Okay honey?"

He nodded sadly "okay mummy"

Once I got in the car was the moments the water works turned on. I had to have a internal battle not to jump out and go back to him. But I didn't, knowing what Esme said, that it would be better once I left.

I waved at them all standing on the porch as Edward drove off towards school. A place I never really paid attention to. A place I had only gone to for a year or two at the most. A place where I was sure to fail miserably because of the lack of my education.

"Don't worry Bells, you'll have me here the whole time and Alice will be in the building as well. I know your taking all different classes, but we can stick together at lunch." Edward reassured me.

I nodded sadly.

"What are you taking?" Alice asked.

"Gym, Studio Art, English, Literature and Maths for dummies"

Edward laughed "Further Maths isn't maths for dummies..."  
"No, okay, I'm taking the easiest maths they offered. I wouldn't take any maths if they let me, but I needed another subject"

I followed Edward as we dropped a excited, bouncing Alice off at the new year 7 meeting. And then let him take me to the office, so I could get my time table.

After getting it I made my way to my first class. It was the start of school back from holidays so everyone was happily catching up and excited about seeing each other, not very interested in me being here.

I handed a slip to the teacher who welcomed me and told me to take a seat.

I sat in the front and listened happily to the teacher talking about our curriculum for English.

English passed, as did maths and Literature. Soon, Lunch came and I found myself faced with the cafeteria and the crowed of hungry adolescents. Seriously, the way they acted was worse than Brandon when he was hungry.

"Um, just a salad please" I told the lady who asked what I wanted. Once I had my salad and drink I paid and went to find Alice or Edward.

I found Alice first, but also found her surrounded by people her age, so I left her alone and went in search for Edward. He was sitting at the table with two other people. He waved me over.

"Rose, Jasper, this is Bella. Bella this is Jasper and Rose" Edward said, patting the seat beside him.

I smiled at him before sliding in and saying hi to Jasper and Rose.  
"So, Edward, I haven't heard you mention any Rose or Jasper" I asked, surprised.

He shrugged "Yeah, I met them today actually, there new, like you Bells"  
"Really? Great! That makes me feel so much better, not being the only new one" Rose said, turning to face me. "Where did you move from?"  
"Um... I came from Forks, its an hour or so away from here."  
"Oh, I know that place! I went to school there for about two months while we were visiting our grandparents. Then our parents decided small town life wasn't for them so they moved back down here. I really don't think they liked some of the rumours floating around"

I felt the colour drain from my face. "What... What rumours?" I asked, knowing I started about ¾ of those stories.

"Well, it was mostly the fact that there were so many rumours. But I was also the one about a girl who got pregnant... she was only 15!" Rose exclaimed.

Edward choked on his food and I blushed. Jasper, who was sitting beside his sister, eyed me curiously, but didn't ask questions.

"Yeah... that's... hmm" I said, earning a look from Edward.

Rose nodded "Yeah, imagine getting pregnant at 15! or maybe she was 14 when it happened! Thats even worse. Imagine the parents that she would have had! But do you know what was worse? The way the town talked about her. It was as if she was an infection that they got rid of and were happy about it! That was what made me more upset. I mean, think about  
it, what if she didn't want to have gotten pregnant? What if it wasn't her fault? They made it sound like she deserved this bad mouthing... but I bet no one really heard her whole story!"

I smiled thankfully at Rose "Yeah, I agree..."

Lunch passed quickly as I laughed with Rose, Jasper and Edward. I also learnt a bit about the two, they were twins and apparently Jasper wanted to join the army when he finished school. And rose wanted to become a mechanic. I laughed at that until she said she was serious.

When they asked me what I wanted to do, I came up blank. Because I really had no idea what I wanted to do. It never occurred to me that I could do something. And it still doesn't. My main goal is to raise Brandon properly, and a career is going to have to wait. But I didn't say that.

Rose had gym with me so I walked with her toward the oval. "So, Bella, You and Edward seem pretty close" She said, winking.

I laughed "Yeah, he's been really nice to me... through everything. He's my foster brother, I guess... I live with him"

"Oh... well, still, he's only your foster brother. He's not exactly related. Are you going to ever make a move?"  
"What?! No...!"  
"Why not? I see the way you both look at each other. Its with comfortable-ness and love and admiration for each other! But apparently, neither of you know about it"

"But where foster siblings..." I whispered, knowing she was now speaking my own growing thoughts.

"So? Your not related. Sure people will talk, but wont it be worth it?"  
I shrugged, wanting to stop talking while others can hear. She noticed and let me change into my uniform in silence.

During gym, me and Rose partnered up against two other girls in tennis. We won, surprisingly and it left us singing 'we are the champions' on the way to Art, which we both had, and laughing at our horribly tune.

School finished quickly after meeting Rose. And she actually revealed both her and Jasper were in my English class, which was good, because that meant I wasn't alone.

I said goodbye before hopping into Edwards Volvo and sat with him while we waited for Alice.

"So, I bet you 5 bucks the first thing she does when she sits in this car is say: Oh... my god" I said, holding out my hand for him to shake.

He shrugged "Your on"

We waited in silence and watched as Alice hugged about 4 friends before she came skipping over to the car and sat in. She paused, smiled and then "Oh My God! I love High school!!" She squealed.

I laughed with her as Edward handed me my money and then drove off towards home, listening to Alice give a minute by minute description of her day.

Once at home I jumped out of the car and into the house, thrilled to be seeing Brandon, who I had missed the whole day.

When he saw me he jumped up and ran to me as well. Meeting in the middle like some cheesy movie. "I missed you baby" I mumbled before kissing his head a billion times.

"How was your first day girls?" Carlisle asked, letting me know there are other people on the planet rather than just my baby boy.

Alice launched into a more detailed version of her day than the one she said in the car. I escaped quickly into the kitchen, not wanting to hear it all again. "Bella" Esme said, making me jump.

"Hey" I laughed, I should have known she was in here. "Was he good today?" I asked, putting Brandon on the floor so he could go play.

"He was fine, as always. Don't worry too much." She chuckled "It'll make you go grey before me"  
I frowned, I didn't want to go grey.  
"Make any friends?" Esme asked, sitting at the breakfast counter.

"Yeah, Rose and Jasper seemed nice. Edward met them first though. And they came from Forks... they had heard about me, although they didn't know the 15 year old pregnant girl was actually me.."  
"Oh... did you tell them?" Esme asked.

"No.. I didn't want to ruin the reputation they have of me, although I'm sure there going to find out I have a two year old and put two and two together. And when they do, I'm equally as sure that they are going to hate me and think badly of me" I mumbled.

Esme told me to stop and then hugged me "Once you tell them the full story, I'm sure that they wont hate you. Don't be ridiculous" She said.

I sat and helped her with dinner for a bit before I went to start homework.

At dinner, we had to work through a whole new step by step description of Alice's day and half way through, Edward told her to shut up.

Emmett wasn't there, he had football, or a college interview, or something. He told us last night and had to leave early to get there in time.

We all ate dinner in a Cullen home fashion... loudly. "Bella! Pass me the peas!" Alice shouted, yes, she shouted it.

"Honey, don't yell" Carlisle said, squinting from the noise.  
I gave her the peas before turning to make sure Brandon was eating properly. But laughed when I found his peas in his hair and his potato on his cheeks and chin.

He smiled before laughing in hysterics "I'm Santa mummy!"

I couldn't help but laugh before I cleaned his face and helped him eat properly.

After dinner and after I put Brandon to bed, Edward, Alice and I all migrated to the basement so we could watch a movie without disrupting Carlisle's doctor shows and Esme's reading. Once there and with a movie on, we all lounged while watching it, happy for the relaxing time.

But I was disrupted by a phone call, that I answered. "Hello?" I said into the device, one eye still on the movie, 2012. They were about to try and get the plane working.

"Is this the Cullen residence?" The person asked, I could hear a commotion in the background of where that person was.

"Yes, do you need Dr. Cullen? Or Mrs. Cullen" I asked, he sounded pretty formal.

"There's no time, I'm needed. You need to get your parents down to the hospital. A Emmett Cullen has been in an accident. Come quickly please" The voice said before the line went dead.

I stared at the wall for a moment before yelling "ESME! CARLISLE"

I ran upstairs and started telling them. "Emmett! Accident! You need to go to the hospital!" I said, not really making proper sentences.

Esme's face went blank while Carlisle sprung into action. He grabbed both his and Esme's coat and then got his shoes on and threw Esme's at her. "Esme, shoes!" He ordered.

"Bella, stay here with Edward and Alice please. I'll call as soon as I know something" He told me before sprinted toward his car with Esme following dazed behind him.

"What happened?" Edward asked coming upstairs with Alice beside him.

"Um, Emmett, he was in a accident. I don't know what happened... they didn't tell me. All the did was ask for my parents"

Edward seemed to slump with worry as he sat down in the couch. Alice's shoulders shook and she burst into tears.

The phone woke me from the lounge room couch. I was against Edward and Alice was cuddled up against me. We had fallen asleep here, worrying about our brother.

I leant over the couch to find the phone. "Hello?" I asked, my voice croaking.

"Bella, honey, Emmett is fine, he's just... he's beat up. Someone attacked him! But, honey, you need to come down here. There's something... well, could you just come? Leave Alice and Brandon with Edward"

I frowned but said I would come down as soon as I could. Once I hung up, Edward spoke up. "Is he okay?" He asked, making me jump.

"I thought you were still asleep!" I gasped. "And yeah. He was beat up by someone... Esme told me to come down there, can you stay here with Brandon and Alice?" I asked.

He frowned and seemed to get angry. "Why would I stay here and you get to go? He's my brother! He's been my brother for longer than you've known him! No, you stay here!" He hissed, getting up.  
I got up too, which meant Alice fell to the couch and she woke up. "What's going on?" She asked, looking at me and Edward.

"She's going to get to go see Emmett! And she asked us to stay here?! Thats ridiculous, come on Alice, lets go see our brother."  
Alice got up and followed Edward out the door.  
"Please, guys, your mum said that I needed to come down..."  
"Well, come, but you can't force us to stay" He said angrily, before pulling out in his car and driving off.

I went upstairs, got Brandon who was sleeping soundly and then locked up the house and drove toward the hospital in my own car. Parking next to his, where they waited in the hospital car park.

"Sorry Bella" Edward mumbled as I got out, I wiped away the tears that had been falling.

"Its fine" I told him while I got Brandon out.

We walked into the hospital and found Esme and Carlisle waiting for us, we'll, for me. When they saw everyone, they frowned.

"Edward, we told Bella to tell you to stay... why did you come?" Carlisle asked.

Edward grew angry again. "Why should Bella get to come and see Emmett?! Why can't we see him too?!"

Esme shook her head. "She's not getting to see Emmett, and neither are you two. She's going to see the man who hurt him. Now, you two wait here with Brandon, we will be back. Also, next time someone says we told you to do something, please do it."

Edward nodded sadly. "Sorry, we are all... just worried"

Carlisle took my hand and lead me toward a room and paused at the door. A police man was standing outside of it "Emmett got in some good shots as well, so he was brought into the hospital as well. And well, they found this on him..."

I took the photo the police man held out and stared at it. "We need to see if you recognise this man" The police man said in his professional voice. The picture was frayed and stained in some places. I looked at it with shaky fingers and the first thing I saw was my mother "Mum..." I whisper, staring at the perfect photo of my mother. Her brown hair framing her face, her smile and eyes sparkling in amusement. She was almost happy here... not as happy as she could be, but happy enough.

I looked passed my mother who had her arms around me and Alice. I was about 6 and Alice was 1. I was holding her and smiling up at the camera. My smile was forced and you could see the small outline of a healing bruise, and the way my arm bent weirdly at one place, the sign I only knew as a broken bone that had healed wrong. We looked happy enough, but I knew the real story. I then looked at the man behind us all. His smile was oddly wrong, his eyes dead to the world and blood shot. His hand resting on my mother and my shoulder, I remember this photo, I felt dominated and prisoned when he put his hand on my shoulder. I also remember what happened after this photo. The pain and blood when he hit me. I gasped and dropped the photo from my hands.

"No... Is this, this is fake right? I mean, he's not here?! Is he?! He can't be! Please, no, Esme, your lying, right, this is some sick joke?!" I rambled, feeling my cheeks grow hot as I began to find it hard to breath. "How do you know its me?! Why do you think this is me?!" I asked the police man.

"We need a name" The policeman said, taking the photo from the floor.

"Kevin Swan... he's name is Kevin Swan. Why do you think I know him?" I asked him, trying to block out the feeling of his name on my tongue.

"Because he asked for you. He said he knew you were here." Carlisle said, rubbing my shoulder.

I wiped away tears. "Why isn't he dead?" I whispered.

The police man frowned. "We don't know.. should he be?"

"I shot him... ten years ago I shot him! He should be dead!" I shouted, angry.

"Honey, we found a scar on his stomach, he didn't die when you shot him. He was in jail for 10 years for family violence. We wouldn't let him know where his children had been placed. We don't know how he found you"

"Why didn't he get put away for murder?! He killed my mother!"

"He claimed it was suicide, he served his sentence in prison...." the young police man whispered

"Why didn't anyone tell me? First, why didn't they tell me he wasn't dead? And secondly, why didn't they tell me he went to jail and why didn't you fucking tell me that my freak of a father who beat me and my sister and killed my mother got our of jail?!! And why is he here now?! Threatening my happiness and almost beating my brother to death?! You tell me you fucking police man! How the fuck is this makes him allowed to come out of prison?!"

I was almost out of breathe when I stopped screaming. I could hear cries that I recognised as Brandon from behind me and I spun to see Edward holding him, trying to calm him down and Alice clutching his side, tears running down her face.

"I want to see him" I whispered.

"No Mam, we are not allowed to let anyone in" The police man said. I read his name tag, Bruce.

"Bruce. Let me in to see my fucking father, I wont touch him. I just want to see if he is actually here" I said calmly.

He nodded, "Okay, but leave the door ajar"

I, with shaky hands, opened the door and pushed it almost closed, then I went and sat on the chair. I hadn't looked at the bed yet. I took a few calming breathes before I looked upwards and found myself staring at my father, who was awake.  
He smiled sadly at me, probably hearing the whole shouting session I had just had, "Bella" he whispered. "You've grown up so beautifully"  
I stared at him, my mouth slightly open. Tears falling down my eyes, I'm pretty sure he could see the pain in my eyes.

"Before you say something, because I can clearly tell you are very angry due to what you said outside my door, I need to tell you something..."  
I nodded sharply. One nod. That was all he deserved.

"I want to let you know I'm sorry... I've started again. I'm trying again... And I want to let you come and live with me, you and Alice, I want you to come home with me" He pleaded.

"How does beating my brother show me you have started new?"

"Because I saw you with him. You were arguing, he was angry at you and making you upset!"  
I frowned, "WHAT! You hit my brother because he was making me upset?! I was upset because he was telling me he was going to college in a week! I was upset because I was going to miss him!"  
He looked sad. "I didn't know... I thought he was hurting you-"  
"Hurting me!? The only reason I have experienced so much hurt has been because of you, your actions, and the consequences of your actions!"

"Bella, honey, that night... I was too drunk... way too drunk... and then your mother threatened to take you both away. I was upset!"

"So killing her helps you how?!" I shouted, knowing they could all hear me.

"I don't know!" He gasped. "But all I knew was I needed to set out rules, so you two would never leave me. But you did, because you were so much braver than I ever was. You shot me Bella"  
"I know, and some how I wish I had hit your head" I said coldly.

"No you don't" He whispered.

I laughed "Yes I do! I wish you were dead!"

"If you had of let me live, your life, my life, your sisters life would have been better!"

I laughed "No dad. Your life would have consisted of drinking and drugs, you'd probably drink yourself to an early grave. You would have continued to hit us and you'd probably move up and begin to sexual assault us because mum wasn't there to rape any more." I spat the words out "And me? Well, I probably would have gone into drugs or alcohol myself, simply to escape the pain you put out on me. And Alice, We'll Alice would have had to have gone through so much pain when she didn't do anything wrong!"

"And how have your lives been better?" he sneered, sitting up in his bed.

"YES, Alice was adopted, she is and was happy. No one could have asked for a better life than little Alice. And for her life, I'm grateful I shot you."

"What about you? I know you were beat at the orphanage, I know you didn't get adopted. I know you went from foster home to foster home being beaten and raped. I know you got hurt" He said, a sick smile on his face. "I know your life sucked."

"Yes... yes it did. But I don't care! If I had of lived with you, I never would have had Brandon, I never would have met the Cullen's, I never would have found Alice and I never would have been this happy... ever"

"Well, your still my flesh and blood. You can never get rid of me... Your me, I'm you. You say I'm evil, then your evil"

"Your wrong" I whispered.

"No, I'm right, you have my blood, my bad blood. So you must be bad too"

I shook my head, my hands clenching. "No, its not the blood that makes you evil, its you that makes you evil. I hate you dad, I've hated you for my whole life... I hope you have a great time in jail, because even if its the last thing I do, I'm going to make sure you die in there"

"Bella, I'm sorry you feel that way and I'm sorry for everything."

I froze. I stopped breathing and I stopped the tears falling. I let out one deep breathing before standing. "Never, ever apologise for what you've done to me, my mother or Alice. Because I knew you enjoyed every little hit, ever kick ever minute of abuse. I knew from the sick smile on your face as you held my head under water, or when you dangled me from the upstairs window. Or when you said you were going to kill me in my sleep. I knew then and know now, that you never regret those decision. So don't you dare apologise to me, ever"

He smiled sadly. "I'm still sorry... and you can't stop that"

I don't towards the door and flung it open, now looking into the eyes of my new parents.

"You will always remember me, every time you look in the mirror, you'll think of me. You'll always think of your father." He shouted as I walked out the door.

I paused, staring into Esme's eyes, her own tears forming and her hands held up to her mouth in shock. But her own face, still showed concern for me, love and concern for _me. _I turned to Carlisle, whose face held concern, love and anger towards Kevin. He looked protective of me, his hands bawled up and almost as if he was about to hit someone.

I turned around again, "Fuck You" I said strongly "I have a new father, _Kevin_, one that actually loves me. And a mother whose not afraid to stick up for me. So, no, I will not think of you constantly. I can't deny you wont come into my head, but never will I think of you when I look at myself, because I know I am different, and its all thanks to these people. The people who love me." I took a deep breath "I've moved on. I'm happy and nothing you can do can stop that"

I walked out the door and began down the hall. I could hear him screaming.

"I'm going to kill you one day Bella! You watch you and your families back, because one day, I will get you!"

**Sorry, Bella isn't out of trouble just yet. Well, for this chapter, I don't know when she'll be truly safe. :D It just makes the story more interesting.**

**~Bexta03**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter thirteen

I stormed out of the hospital and started walking, it had begun to rain so I pulled up my hood and began to walk faster. My phone buzzed in my pocket. I checked it before I answered. _Esme_. It read.

"Hey" I said, wiping the tears and rain from my face. "I'm going to walk home. I'll get my car another day. Can you bring Brandon back"

"Of course Bella, but it's pouring, your going to get sick" She replied.

I sighed, "At this point... I don't care, I'm sorry, but really... I need this time alone" Then I hung up. I felt horrible for hanging up on her, but I did and I'd have to apologise later.

I continued my walk for about an hour before I stopped and sat for a second, breathing heavily. I hadn't realised I had been walking so fast. I was sitting in the grass, far away from the city now but not yet home, when Carlisle's Mercedes past me and stopped with a screech.

I went to Esme's window, which she opened. She looked at my soaked clothing and shook her head. "Bella, your going to get pneumonia. Please come home in the car" She said, her voice laced with worry.

I didn't say anything, all I did was get in the car and smile at Alice, who was holding a sleeping Brandon.  
I took Brandon from her and cuddled him, holding him because I needed something do to. When we got home I went straight to his room, put him to bed and then sat in the rocking chair, looking at his sleeping form.

"Brandon, I know your not listening, because your asleep... but I promise that... I promise that I will never hurt you. That if you ever do get a daddy that he's not evil like mine. I promise you will have a normal, happy life. I promise you will have a childhood"  
"Thats a big promise" Edward whispered from the doorway.

I jumped and almost fell out of the chair. "When did you get home?" I hissed, closing the door as I left Brandon's room.  
"Ages ago, I passed you walking. Figured you were walking for a reason so I left you"

I laughed "Thanks"

"So, you want someone to talk to?" He offered.

"What would you know?" I mumbled going into my room but leaving the door open, so he knew he could stay.

"Well" he started, coming in and sitting on my bed as I went into the closet to change my wet clothes. "I am also adopted" he admitted, smiling like he was proud of that fact.

I came out and shrugged "Yeah, I know... hence why your here... at the Cullen's, the adoptive family of the year!" I said sarcastically, but I actually meant it.

"Bella, if you want to hear my story, would you shut up?" He said bluntly.

I sat opposite him, crossing my legs and rested my hand on my fist.

"Well, for you to trust me and actually realise, I haven't had such the cushioned life as you so believe, your going to have to see something to actually believe me, because what my father did to me, is actually pretty sick, twisted, and unbelievable"

"I've heard pretty horrible stories from the orphanage. One boys dad, cut open his skin with a can opener and another girls father, used a sander on her back" I said without flinching.

He did, but the composed himself "I win still. You see, I left my parents, well, my father, when I was 5. But I still remember everything that happened. And that one night that ruined my childhood"  
"Why do you act so casual about it?" I interrupted, if I had to dissolve some of my childhood memories, like the time I was at the therapist. I would be in tears.  
"I've come to terms with it all... I've put it in the past and I'm not ashamed of what happened. I take it with pride, as a sign that I survived where others may not have. Anyway, would you shut up?"

I nodded, "Sorry... I wont say anything now"

"Okay. So, my fathers name was Edward Senior Mason, I'm Edward Junior, but yeah. That doesn't really matter. So my father, lets call him Ed because I don't like calling him Dad, he doesn't deserve that title. So my mother died giving birth to me. And well, it ruined him, he got so mad all the time, I don't know how I survived as a infant... it was just luck. I was beaten and hurt my whole toddler life. I learnt to run before I could walk so I could escape the pain that he inflicted. But when I was 5, was when he went over board. I was meant to be going to school for my first day of primary. And I was getting dressed in my uniform. Ed still treated me good in public, he didn't want anyone to be suspicious. Anyway, so I was getting ready and he comes out, drunk out of his mind and hyped up on heroin or ice or weed or whatever he took. And he came at me. He told me I was to die for what I did to my mother."  
He took a deep breath and then took of his shirt. "74 stitches total. My father took his pocket knife. His rusted, dirty pocket knife and cut me, over and over again. The neighbours heard my cries and called the police, but not before he could mark me as his own"

I looked over his skin, tiny red scars littered his chest, arms and back.

Edward turned around so I could see his back. _Murderer. _Was etched into his skin, it wasn't big or noticeable, but it was there, amongst all the other scars. "He wanted to constantly remind me that I killed my mother" Then he chuckled "But if he had any fucking brains, he would have put it somewhere I could see, rather than my back"

I had my own tears and wiped them as he put his shirt back on.

"So Bella, if anyone in this place can understand the hatred, the pain and hurt and the fury towards there own father, its me. Because if I was given a chance to go to my father and say what you did, I would, despite my own comfort with everything now. It still hurts that little bit every time you think of it"

"Oh Edward" I whispered before hugging him "I'm sorry... I had no idea"  
He smiled and took my hand "It's okay. We can be messed up together. One just needs more help getting through it than the other"

I nodded, "I'm going to get better. I thought I was. But really, I'm going to get over them. I'm going to learn to live with it all"

He smiled and moved so he was against the headboard and I rested my head on his shoulder. "Can you stay here?"  
He shrugged "Wanna watch a movie?" He offered, getting up to turn on one.

Once we were lying down and watching 'Meet the Fockers' I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes, drifting off to a dreamless sleep, which I was very thankful for.

….................

I woke up next to Edward, who had fallen asleep with a protective arm wrapped around my side. I felt warm, and comfortable... and safe.

"Mummy.... Mama... Mum... Mummy" Brandon's soft voice was filling the room from the monitor beside my bed. I know his room was right next door, but the walls were really thick.

I climbed out of bed and Edwards arm and walked dazed into Brandon's room to get him out of his crib. Once he was out, I got him dressed, changed his nappy and then we ventured downstairs for breakfast.

"Yummy Yummy in my tummy. Mummy get me yummy's" He sang.

"Where'd you hear that?" I asked as I put him in his booster seat on the chair near the breakfast counter.

"Uncle Emmy!" he cheered. "He sang to Grandma!"

I laughed, "that sounds about right" I mumbled as I poured his cereal.  
"Mummy, tanas?" he asked.

I added some sultana's in and smiled "Are you going to be a health Nazi?" I asked, stirring the sultana's in for him.

"Who's a Nazi?" I heard a loud voice from the entrance ask.

I actually squealed and threw myself at Emmett, who was bruised and beaten at the doorway. "Your home!"

He groaned and I pulled away quickly. "Sorry" I mumbled, looking up to actually see him.

He smiled "Don't apologise, and don't say sorry for the fight. It was not your fault. Even if it was your physco father. I'm actually glad I got into that fight. Did you see him? I got him good Bells, he went down first!" Emmett said proudly.

I wrapped my arms carefully around his waist and hugged him. "Thank you" I whispered. "Now, you hungry?"  
"YEAH!"

I laughed and went to start a omelet, his favourite breakfast meal.

When Esme and Carlisle came down they fussed over there son. Apparently they told him to call so he could get picked up. But he had taken a taxi.  
It was about 8 when Edward and Alice came down, Edward smiling shyly at me while he got his breakfast.

I left Brandon with them so I could go get dressed for school. I still couldn't believe today was only my second day... it seemed so long.

* * *

Art was when it happened. I was sitting next to Rose and we were both painting some fruit, still life work. Someone passed me and stopped, smiling evilly.  
"So Bella, hows Brandon?" The girl, I think her name was Jessica, asked.

I frowned "He's good... why?"  
"Oh, I heard that he's actually yours... and well, I wanted to see if the rumours were true"

Rose glared at the girl. "Piss off Jess, Bella's business is her own business"  
"But doesn't it bother you? Not knowing... or knowing she actually has a kid?" Jess replied, standing back to look at my work.

"Well, if she tells me, then cool... if she doesn't, I wont judge her. I've only known her for a day and a bit! It's not long enough to freaking reveal all our secrets! As to you, you should mind your own business" Rose countered.

I shook my head "Ah, shut up Jess, leave me and Rose alone. I haven't even spoken to you before"  
Once Jess left Rose went back to her work. Her words touched me, _I wont judge her_ it was that that made me decide to tell her.

I leant over, pretending to look at her own paper. "It's true" I whispered.

She stared at me, surprise written on her face. "Really?"  
I nodded.

"So.. your? Your a mother?"  
I nodded again. "I'm a mother to Brandon Charlie Swan, he's 2 years old"

"And you came from Forks?" She whispered, while the teacher passed us.

"Yes... the rumours of the girl who was pregnant at 15... that was me" I said bluntly, turning back to my own work. "But I was actually only 14 when I concieved him." I shuddered at the memory.

She nodded and started painting again. She didn't say anything until the bell and I was beginning to become worried. "Don't worry Bella, I don't think your a slut. I am curious as to why you got pregnant at a young age, but I do also believe that you would have a good reason for it. And keeping a baby, that must have been something really brave to do. So no, I don't think you are bad."  
I smiled and then hugged her. "Thank you... do you want to... do you want to meet him?"

She seemed to beam. "I would love to. Can I come over tonight? Can Jasper come? He and Edward seemed to get along"  
I shrugged, "I'll need to call Esme, but I'm sure its fine, want to stay for dinner?"

The rest of the day was spent with us talking about each other, Brandon and our families. Although, I didn't tell her all my secrets, she does now know I had a hard childhood and would let me have time before I let her in on what happened. And she said she didn't mind. So for that, I was thankful.

School finished and we all ended back at home, Rose and Jasper included.  
When we first came in it was like normal, Esme came to say hello, Emmett was sitting on the lounge watching TV and my little boy came running from where ever into my arms.

"Okay, Brandon, I want you to meet Rose and Jasper. There mine and Edwards friends"

He smiled shyly at Rose and Jasper, hiding his head in my hair.

"He's afraid of other people" I explained.

"Hi Brandon... your very pretty" Rose said, holding out her hand.

He smiled at her and then touched her hand and smiled more.

"Okay, so Esme, Emmett this is Rose and Jasper, Rose and Jasper you already know Edward, but this is Emmett and Alice, she's at our school but I don't think you've met her before and Emmett here is in college. Don't let his bruises make you think he's scary.. he's a big teddy bear really"

Rose seemed to look twice at Emmett, who was open mouth staring at her, before she turned to greet Esme. Jasper smiled politely at Esme, Alice and Emmett.

What was going on? Edward seemed to notice too and grinned.

I casually passed Emmett. "Flies will go in" I whispered, trying to subtly hint that he looks like a dork.

It work because he closed his mouth and turned to Jasper. "Nice to meet you" he said in a strong voice, shaking his hand.

Alice was talking animatedly about something to Jasper, who was just smiling and nodding.

I sat down on the couch next to Emmett as Rose sat down next to me. Brandon walked off in search for his toys. "What are you watching?" I asked Emmett.

It was an add and as he tried to quickly find the remote, the tv show came back, "Seriously Emmett? I even texted you, to say we were having company... and your watching this?" I asked, pointing to the TV.

It was a show about girl wrestling. He was weird sometimes. He shrugged and changed the channel. "Its hot" He mumbled.

"How can over-muscular girls be hot?" Edward ask, sitting beside Jasper in the other couch.

Emmett shrugged "I pretend they look different?"  
I covered my face. "I am so sorry Rose... I warned him! I warned him!"

Rose and Jasper were just laughing at us bickering.

An hour or so passed and I was happily chatting with Rose and Jasper and my family. We all seemed to click and get along. Even Alice, who was only 12, wasn't getting left out, and for that made it even better.

I actually had a suspicion about Alice. She seemed to be casting Jasper looks every now and then. I laughed to myself. She had a crush on someone 5 years older than her. Poor girl.

It was about 5.30 when Carlisle came home to a house full of teenagers all playing monopoly in his lounge room floor, a toddler who had decided to watch the wiggles and dance to it on the couch, and have it at a very loud volume, and his wife in the kitchen. Usually I would have been in there helping, but she kicked me out and said to have fun for once.

Lets just say, he was surprised. And came in pressing his hand on his ear. "Why is it so noisy?" He asked me as I bounced over to hug him.

"Because of your grandchild... seriously, reign that boy in!" I teased, then turned. "Em, turn the TV down!" I yelled over the song _Hot Potato._

"Thats slightly better" he sighed. "Now, introduce me" he ordered.

I laughed and pointed "Well, this is Edward and Alice, you adopted them years ago. Emmett we found in the dumpster. Brandon was a alien from outta space-" He liked that idea, squealing in excitement of being a 'alien' "- and these are our friends from school, Rose and Jasper"

"There twins!" Emmett explained. Probably proud that he remembered.

"Okay, its great to meet you Rose and Jasper, Brandon baby, don't jump on the table. And Emmett, do not take the monopoly money, it will not help you in life" he said laughing. "Excuse me... I must find my wife... how has she survived amongst all this?"

About 6, I turned to find Carlisle and Esme smiling and looking at us all playing. I smiled back, because I was actually really happy to be playing with people my age... like a normal teenager.  
I turned back and then 15 minutes later, we were called to dinner.

"I'll feed him tonight Bells" Esme said, taking Brandon out of my arms.  
I thanked her and slid into my seat next to Rose. Dinner was filled with more random talk, a silent kicking fight underneath the table and Carlisle, Emmett and Edward fighting over the last of some garlic bread, which ended up going to Jasper, because he was silent. There faces were priceless as Esme handed it to him.

After dinner, Rose and Jasper watched a movie with us before they left to go. "Sorry guys, but our dad, he'll begin to get worried" She said, uneasily. Jasper rested his hand on her shoulder and guided her to the door. "Thank you for having us" They both said before leaving in Jasper's beat up truck.

When they left I came back to sit on the couch. "There very nice people. I'm glad you two are making friends" Carlisle said, as he read his medical book, Esme cuddled up against him.  
Brandon was already in bed so I had nothing to do except homework.

I was surprised about my actual skill to keep up with it, but then again, it was only the start of the year. I'm sure a tutor or help will be needed later on.

After homework and then some tv, I went to bed, happy with the normality of my day.

**You know the drill. Read and review please. Now push the button that is no longer green: Oh how I miss it being green :P**

**Love all my readers.**

**3 Bext03**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hope you all enjoyed the last chapter**

**Read, review, show me your love.**

Chapter fourteen

**2 months later**

"Rose, do we really have to do this?" I asked, walking through the shops as if the racks held deadly animals ready to attack me. She said I was too dramatic... but really, what if deadly animals were actually going to jump out at me!

"Yes!" She said, exasperated. "Look, your sister is having the time of her life. She wanted you to go dress shopping with so she can find something for the junior formal. You called me because you barely even own a dress and so here we are! Stop complaining"

I sighed and looked over at Alice, who was bouncing, twirling and skipping around the dress racks. I shrugged, figuring I could be supportive. But why is the junior formal in the middle of the year and not at the end when we have ours?

I nodded, oohed and ahhed at all the things Alice tried on and in the end she chose two, one for her formal and then one she just couldn't say no to. I laughed and took them to the counter, paying on my card that Carlisle gave to me. He said Alice was too young, so she was upset, but I told her I'd get her dresses because she didn't have enough money.

"Thank you Bella!" she repeated over and over as we went to put the dress bags into the car before going to get some lunch.

I sat between Rose and Alice as we waited for our food to come in. Rose was staring off towards another table. "What's up Rose?" I asked.

She shrugged "thought I saw someone I knew" She said, actually leaning around me and then shaking her head. "Nah, it's not him"

I smiled, and then we all went into a conversation about how Alice was going to wear her hair. And we ended up going to the hair dressers, because she had decided to get 'a whole new look'.

I texted Esme saying we were getting Alice's hair cut and all she did was reply with _have fun_. Meaning Alice was given a completely free range on how she wanted her hair cut.  
While we waited for the lady to be free, Alice looked through the magazine and on the 4th page, she squealed. "I want this one!" She said excitedly.

Rose took it and had a look, grinning happily.

I snatched the magazine and looked at it. It was someone with the same face structure face as Alice, sort of pointy, and fairy like. This person though, unlike Alice who had black hair going down to her shoulder blades, this person had short, spiky hair that pointed out in every direction. It didn't even reach the ladies shoulders.  
"What do you think Bella?" Alice asked, her eyes sparkling.

I looked at the picture and smiled, if it made her happy... "I think it will be good. But we will let the final product, make our decision" I grinned.

She smiled and hugged me tightly. Before running off to the chair she was being called to.

She told the hair dresser exactly what she wanted, basically every snip of hair was of Alice's choice. I stared at her, surprised as more and more hair appeared on the floor. "You should get your hair cut too" Rose offered.

I frowned "I like my length"

She shook her head "You could get layers... like me"  
I smiled slightly, I do like her hair.

10minutes later I was in a chair next to Alice with another hair dresser, getting layers done.

Once we were both done I looked over at Alice. "Wow Bella, you look amazing... you look..." I stopped listening to her rambling as I studied her. Something about her short hair now poking out in different directions sent a shiver down my spine.

_He stepped closer and grabbed my hair. "no? You do not disobey me." Then he cut off my hair, laughing hysterical._

_I was small with brown hair that had been cut off brutally by a knife from my father. I smoothed it down effortlessly before following the lady outside towards the unknown. _

I had a image of my 7 year old self with short, brown hair spiky the way Alice's is. But I pushed it away, I was going to do what Edward does... make it something of my past.

Once I had the image out of my head and the tears dried I smiled at Alice. "You look beautiful Alice. Really. Your stunning"  
She frowned, seeing the tear fall down my cheek before I could wipe it away, but smiled after I commented her. "I love you Bella" she whispered, hugging me.

I buried my face into her newly cut hair, probably wrecking the gel, and kissed her head. "Love you too Hun"

Rose cleared her throat. "I want a hug too... and the lady wants to be paid" She giggled.

Alice leapt into Rose's arms while I went and paid. Laughing at my best friend and sister.

Once we finished we all got into my car and headed back home, Rose answered her phone.

"Jasper? What's wrong?" She asked, worry in her voice.

I couldn't hear what he said but she gasped loudly. "Bella, can you go to my place!" She said extremely worried now.

I nodded and began to drive toward her house. Once we were there, I could hear it. The fighting.

"Go home" She told me and Alice before she headed inside "I'll call you later"

I frowned and began to slowly drive away but those plans all stopped when I heard a sound. Flashbacks flew into my mind.

_I couldn't think, my heartbeat was loud in my ears as I pulled my arms in front of me, and then pulling down hard on the trigger. Daddy looked shocked, he looked like he was in pain. _

I stopped the car and turned to Alice who was still in the back-seat, her eyes wide in fear. I threw her my mobile phone. "Call the police. Then call Esme and Carlisle. Stay in this car! Lock the doors" I shouted at her.

She gave me one short nod before she was concentrating on the phone. I dived out of the car and didn't think that I was actually going into danger... unarmed.

I threw open the Hales doors. And the fear that was in me grew and the butterflies began to dance once more.

_A small bubble of fear broke in my stomach and the butterflies began to dance. I crept behind him, not wanting to, but having no choice but to follow him._

I stood shocked as the redness of the carpet made me almost faint. The smell flew up my nose and the person on the floor made me cry out in pain and fear.

_What I saw in the kitchen, leaves me silenced. My once pretty mother now barely had a face that I could recognise. The blood was... everywhere... there was so much. Her arms and legs laid useless in the bloody pool beside her. I let a small sound escape me...._

"Jasper?!" My voice whispered, it was quavering in fear. I crept forward and his head moved so he could see me. His blood shot eyes, his blood from the corner of his mouth, his shirt cut into millions of pieces, the scarred flesh of his chest was stained red.  
"Bella?" He asked, then relief washed over him, probably to realise someone else knew. "Rose. Upstairs. Help" He begged.

I heard a loud bang and a scream followed by sobbing. I jumped at the sounds but felt my legs running upstairs. What was I doing?!

_We listened carefully. The banging had increased now and there was now screaming. We knew who was screaming._

But before I hit the stairs I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife.

"_Disgusting. I can't live with a piece of trash like you, come here. I will make it quick" He said, pulling out a knife the size of my leg._

I pulled out of my mind, desperately trying to think of other things as I ran up the stairs towards the danger. I needed to think clearly of what I was doing... What was I doing? Where was the police??

Another scream and the thought of my own fear left as I realised Rose was in danger and needed help. My help.

I pushed open the door and what saw me left me blinded once more by memories.

_I woke up in the middle of the dark. It was pitch black and cold. I heard a creak. I shot up in my bed. Oh please no. not tonight._

_My prayers were unanswered as my door swung open and James entered the room. I am pushed downwards into my bed, my pants ripped away. James then decides to have his way with me. My silent please gone unnoticed._

Rose was on the floor, her eyes glued to mine as someone was on top of her, trying to get between her legs. She gasped and screamed once more as the man entered her and that was when I shot out of my frozen state.

I lounged, my knife raised. "Fuck someone with permission!" I screamed before I pushed him off her.

He screamed at me and jumped off of her and then onto me. "Who the FUCK are you?" He shouted.

I tried to get him with the knife, in anyway to try to protect myself and save Rose, who was now huddled onto the floor near the bed.

But the knife flew out of my hand and was now in his, it raised dangerously close to my neck. "Say goodbye" He said evilly.

_The fall seemed to go on forever, I instantly saw everything flash before me. My mother, father, blood, dead, the orphanage, the beatings, Alice leaving, more beatings, me growing, me missing Alice, me running, me crying. Finally, it settled on something I did right. Alice. I let her go and made her have a happy life. Her four year old face smiles in my mind. _

I couldn't give up now. As the face of Brandon appeared in front of me, I grunted as I lifted my foot and kicked him... right in his balls.

He made some weird noise before dropping the knife to hold himself. Seriously, why leave himself so unprotected? He regained himself quickly though and grabbed my throat, squeezing tightly.

I grabbed the knife, the pain of his hands grew and my breath came short. But I blocked it out, because compared to the drop from the fence when I was 7, it was nothing. But before I could think, it was in his chest, deep in his chest.

He stubbled back and I stared at him, as he pulled it and the red blood flowed out of his chest and onto me.

"Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck. Shit Shit Shit Shit Shit" Was sounded over the silence of the room and I didn't realise who it was until I felt my mouth moving.

I shook my head as he fumbled around and grabbed the bed, falling off and onto the floor.  
Rose was also saying something and it was her panicked voice that made me turn to her and away from the dying man.  
She was still pant-less and clawing at her face in probably fear.

I grabbed the blanket that didn't have his blood on it and covered her. "Come on Rose, come downstairs" I said, really wanting to get away from him and wanting to go check on Jasper.

I managed to get her downstairs and onto the couch.

Jasper was up now and he limped over to Rose as I brought her down. "Are you okay?" He asked, worried.

She nodded and collapsed onto the couch. Jasper sat next to her.

"Who was that?" I asked.

They both turned to me, "Our father" Rose whispered.

"Who shot the gun... and um... who got shot?" I asked, trying to check Jasper if he was shot somewhere.

"I'm not shot Bells," He said, smiling slightly while taking Rose into his arms.

"Then how are you so cut up! And where is the fucking police?!" I shouted.

"Dad shot some guy, he's in the kitchen. Then dad threw me through the window. I called Rose cause I needed help and she came, but Dad got her before I could get her" He said, sounding defeated. "I am so sorry I called you Rose. I am so very sorry"

"Its okay" She whispered, hugging him.  
"Did he touch you Rosie?" He asked.

She nodded and then burst into tears.

I left then because they started having brother/sister time. I went outside to get air and it was then that I actually freaked out.

Firstly, Alice screamed. Loudly. I faced her and saw her staring at me, which made me look down and I screamed myself. I was covered in blood. Literally, almost drenched.

Alice came out of the car and ran over to me. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? Bella say something! Please" She begged.

"I'm fine. Its not mine" I reassured her. "Did you call the police?" I asked.

She nodded "They said that I'd be a 10minute wait because where so far out"  
I frowned. "Did you say that there had been a gun shot?"  
She nodded, tears falling.

I took her into my arms and sat down with her on the porch. Soon, in about 2 minutes, police cruisers and ambulance's came speeding down the street.

And then from the other direction, came our parents car.

Esme came running out, yelling my name, and Carlisle saw me once and then went into doctor mode. "Stop. Stop. STOP!" I said, so they could stop worrying. "I'm not hurt. It's not my blood. Jasper and Rose. Please go to them" I said, pointing inside.

Both of our parents went inside and Alice went to go too but I told her to stay here, because I didn't want her witnessing what was inside there.

I started to shiver and Alice moved closer to me, hugging me tightly. "Is this what it was like when our parents died?" She whispered.

I looked at her, scared and worried for both our sanities. "yeah" I said, my voice quiet and soft. "It was like this... sort of"

"I'm glad I don't remember it very well then"  
I hugged her tighter "I wish I could forget"

* * *

"I'm fine, really Carlisle" I reassured Carlisle as he sat me on the hospital bed and examined my neck.

He didn't say anything as he looked me over, but I knew what he was thinking.  
"How is Rose and Jasper's father?" I asked.

Carlisle sat in the chair and moved it so he was in front of me. "He died Bella."  
It finally dawned on me. Tears came and fell, rapidly.

"I killed someone? I did it? I actually killed someone?" I asked.

"Bella, it was self defence"  
"I know! But I thought I had killed my own father and then I find out he's alive so I don't know if I actually ever had time to feel the effect of killing someone and now I have actually killed someone! I mean... I am actually a murder! I killed someone and I can't take it back?! He's blood was on me. Oh God Carlisle, he's blood was on me! Can we burn those clothes? Carlisle.... Oh no... Oh NO!" I continued on and actually ended up rocking it wasn't until strong arms went around me did I begin to calm down.

"Bella, your safe honey. Nothing is going to get you. It's okay. Shhh... Shhh" Carlisle mumbled, kissing my cheek and forehead. "Its okay Bella, calm down"

I started breathing more and took deep breaths. "Thank you Carlisle" I said. "What about Rose and Jasper?"

"Jasper is going to make a full recovery. He'll have scars on him for the rest of his life, but most of them he can cover"

"And Rose?"  
"She... she's a bit more upset and... unstable. She was raped by her own father" he said, carefully watching my reaction. "She's going to need therapy"  
I nodded, knowing that it helped me... a lot. "Where will they go now?" I whispered "There orphans... yeah?

"Yes... I think, where going to try to contact an Aunt, but Jasper has said that they thought she was dead. If she's not available... then there going to have to go into the system"  
I shuddered, thinking about the system. "But there almost 18. Can't they just live by themselves?"

"Not by law" He said to me before kissing my head. "You go home, get some rest."

* * *

**Read. Review. You know the drill.**

**This time don't push the green button... BECAUSE IT'S GONE :'( I miss it.**

**HOpe you all had a great Easter. Happy holidays.**

**P.S. My story has a long way to go, I have decided. I'm going to get Bella to a stable place, where there a no loose ties with her past families and such... and then MAYBE end it... or have a sequeal. :D**

**Hope you've enjoyed **


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter fifteen.

I was going to go home, but I wanted to stop and see Rose and Jasper.

Jasper was sleeping when I came into the room, sleeping or either unconscious. But Rose wasn't. She saw me when I opened the door and her fearful and wide eyes calmed a fraction. "Bella" She whispered.

"Hey" I croaked, my throat hurting a little from when he had tried to strangle me.

She started to cry. "I am so sorry I got you involved in this" She sobbed.

I shook my head. "Don't worry Rosie, seriously, I'm glad I could help"

She smiled slightly then curled up once more. "What am I going to do? I'm so scared now..."

"I know how you feel" I said without realising.

She frowned and got angry. "How would you know what I feel like?" She said now not only angry, but furious. "I have been beaten all my life by my own father! I was raped! The only person I could ever trust was Jasper! How could you know how I feel when you have lived a cushion-y life with the Cullen's?!"

I was breathing slowly to try and not get angry and just blow this all out of proportion. 'She didn't know' I kept repeating over and over. "You don't know what my life has been like" I said, proud that I was calm.

"What, did Esme make you eat vegetables?" She sneered.

"Why are you being like this?" I whispered, tears falling.

She laughed "Because its people who think there own _normal_ life is so hard that annoy me to no ends"  
"You have no idea what I've been through. Please stop so I can tell you and then I'll leave. But I will not let you sit there and say I've had a cushioned life. Because that is far from the truth, Rosalie Hale. And then after it, if you are still going to be a bitch then fine, I'll leave and until you can be nice again, I wont come back. Because really, I know your the one that got attacked, but neither of us need these emotions running high at the moment" I said sharply.

She nodded slightly.

"Okay. Firstly, I lived with my father, mother and sister, Alice. My father was a drunk, a drug addict and a dickhead. He abused and hit all three of us, although I tried to protect Alice. It was one night in particular, mum stepped up and said she wanted to leave. He didn't like that. He killed her while we were locked in the closet. Then he came back for us. I had hid Alice and gotten the spare gun and as he took me out to see what he had done, I knew I had to do something myself.

I saw my mothers dead body on the kitchen floor that night, the blood staining our tiles. I was furious but terrified and when I threw up, my father thought I was disgusting and he thought I should go to hell for it. He was going to cut me open with a knife. He did, but not before I shot him. I shot him right in the chest. Because I knew if I didn't, he was going to get Alice" I said, showing her my scarred arm. "I was only 7"  
"Bella-"  
"Shut up. There's more" I said rudely. But I didn't want to be interrupted.

"The first orphanage we went to, we were beaten there too, me mostly because I was just always there, where ever Mrs. Tailor was. And also, she hated me. That didn't help.

2 years after going there, Alice got adopted by the Cullen's. They asked my permission, actually... and I had said yes, because I wanted her to be safe. I was 9 then. I was 9 when I had to give up the last piece of my family to strangers. I was only 9 when I had to give up the only person I trusted"

I saw Rose's eye's flicker to Jasper.

"About 4 years after Alice left, on my 13th birthday, one thing led to another and I ran for my life, Mrs. Tailor coming close behind, a base ball bat in hand. I climbed up the fence and she shook it, causing me to grab the spikes up the top" I showed her my palms "And then fall off. I broke my legs and hips. I'm supposed to walk with a cane, but I've been getting better. I was in hospital for about 2months before I was put into a foster home with James and Victoria.

I thought everything would be okay. They seemed okay when Mr Shaun, my social worker, was there, but the moment he left they turned nasty. I realised that this home was just the same as the orphanage, but worse. It was about the 5th night I was there. Victoria was going to be home late and James... well he was horny. And I was the only one around" I was whispering now, knowing that Rose was shaking in fear, probably thinking back or picturing it herself.

"I was raped that night, and then again in the morning. Then again the next night. Then again the next week. Soon, it was whenever Victoria wasn't around to please him. Once it was with both of them. Usually he was wearing a condom, but I guess, something happened, because after one night, about a year or so later, I fell pregnant"  
"Brandon" I heard her whisper.

"Yes. Brandon is the product of my torture, but it doesn't make me love him any less."

"I left then, I went to the police and left. I wanted to save the baby. The hospital offered me an abortion.. but I couldn't. I couldn't think of killing a innocent child. I was placed with Charlie and Renee then, but it was only temporary. Renee couldn't handle the fact that I was pregnant and she couldn't be. And after hearing they were getting rid of me, I ran off and hitch hiked here, planning to go back in a few hours. But I was in a car accident and they had to cut Brandon out and it was in that hospital that Carlisle found me and then well, one thing led to another and now I'm here"

"Oh Bella... I am so sorry..." She cried.

I shook my head and hugged her, "You didn't know. And I'm sorry I had to tell you now, in between all this, but I think it might help you. You can think of your life, and then think of mine and say, well if Bella can get over it all and put on a brave face, then Rosalie Hale can!"

Rose smiled "Thanks Bella"  
I gave her another hug before I left to let her get some rest. On the way out I saw Jasper smile at me, thanking me silently. I waved goodbye to him before driving back home.

Once I got there I was bombarded by Brandon "Mama I miss you" He cried, hugging me tightly.

"I missed you too baby"

Alice came running in now and hugged me while I tried to not drop Brandon. I was laughing by the time Emmett and Edward joined in on the group hug.

"Where glad your okay Bella" Edward whispered, smiling at me and hiding something behind his eyes.

"I'm glad I'm okay too" I laughed before kissing Alice on her nose and wrapping my arm around Edwards waist. My other arm was holding onto Brandon.

"Guys, group photo!" Carlisle announced.

I stayed with my arm around Edward, Alice rested her head on Brandon and I put mine on Edwards chest, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and then I felt Emmett stand behind us all and put his arms around Alice and Edward. Carlisle put the camera on timer and he and Esme went and sat on the sofa in front of us, with us behind them. I saw Edward put his hand on Esme's shoulder and she put her hand over his and Carlisle hugged her against her side. We were all touching in some way. We were all a chain.

We were all one big happy family.

But were we complete?

It was after dinner, Brandon was in bed and I was snuggled up on the couch watching Law and Order. Edward was playing the piano and Alice and Emmett were playing chess. Don't ask me why.

It was here when Esme and Carlisle came down. "Family meeting" Esme announced.

We all moved upstairs to the dining table.

"Okay, so you all know about Rose and Jasper now, yes?" Carlisle asked, sitting at the head. Esme was at the other end and then Me and Alice was on one side with Emmett and Edward opposite us. I felt like we were in a board meeting.

"So, there now officially orphans because we couldn't reach there aunt, she's passed, unfortunately. And considering they only have one year left until they are 18, where ever they go they wont be there for long and that really isn't fair on either of them. So we have been thinking about adopting them ourselves. It will, of course, be your decision as well, so after we discuss it with you, we are then going to ask them and then go to court for them. But, we want to hear what you guys think."  
Carlisle finished, he sounded professional.

"Bella, honey, do you want to start?" Esme asked.

"It doesn't effect me... will it change what we are doing at the moment?"

"Someone will have to share a room, we thought about Alice and Bella, you two could share, because we can't put Rose and Jasper together..."

"I don't mind sharing" I said, looking at Alice.

She shook her head "I don't mind..."

Edward shrugged "It doesn't bother me... I mean, I'm not going to say no, knowing that they would probably be put into some place horrid."  
I agreed "I don't want them to go into the system"

"Emmett?" Esme asked.

He frowned "Are you sure your not taking in too many people? Are you sure the courts are going to let you? You already have Edward, Alice, Bella and Brandon. I'm legally an adult so me being here is nothing to do with them, but 4 and then those two will make 6... are you allowed?" Who would have thought, Emmett to be the sensible one.  
"Where going to try... but do you mind if we offer this to them?"  
He shook his head "I'm moving out soon anyway, you know, to the dorms"

"So It's decided... tomorrow we'll go over and talk to Rose and Jasper" Carlisle said, dismissing us. "Hopefully they will say yes"

* * *

I was lying in bed and waiting for Brandon to wake up. Today was Friday, but I didn't want to go to school and get questioned so I stayed home. Alice and Edward had wanted to go though, so Edward was going to get my work for me.

"Bella, honey, I'm going into the store and then meeting Carlisle so we can talk with Rose and Jasper. Did you want something?"  
I shook my head "I'm fine. Tell them I said hey"

She nodded and left the room. I got up right after she closed the front door and went and got Brandon up, then we both took a shower.

I was holding him up and he pressed his hand into the shower's hose, causing the water to splash over the top of the shower. But we both laughed and continued to get clean and have fun.

"Brandon baby, keep the towel on!" I laughed as I watched him drop the towel and run from the bathroom. I kept mine securely on while I ran out and chased him down the hall. Once I got him back, I went and got us both dressed and ready for the day...of nothing-ness.

Once I got into the kitchen, I found a note from Emmett. _  
Gone to see my new dorm! Wont be back until tomorrow, don't worry Mama and Papa, I will sleep in the Jeep! Or rent a room... either one _

It was then followed by a smiley face. Ah Emmett, he was thrilled when he told us about being accepted, and now he was looking at dorm rooms. Esme was getting a bit emotional every time she saw him.

I got Brandon breakfast and sat and watched him eat, not feeling like anything myself. Once he was done, I sat down on the couch, feeling weird and... un productive.

So, I shot up and took Brandon again "Lets go out" I told him, taking him into my car and driving toward Fork's town, it was closer than going to Seattle.

I pulled easily into the park and took Brandon onto the swings and just let him have fun. He ran around, laughing and playing happily.

"Mama, can we get ice cream?" Brandon asked jumping in front of me. I think he picked that bit up from Alice.

"Sure honey, whatever you want" I said, taking his hand and going to the only ice cream parlour in Forks, because it is so small and rainy. I was surprised it wasn't raining now, but I was happy because of it, it meant we were dry.

We sat at the little booth, Brandon eating a rainbow cone and me eating chocolate, laughing happily at his ice cream smeared face.

I was paying attention to the few people passing, but one of them tapped on the window.

I jumped but turned and came face to face with none other than...  
"Charlie" I sighed, giving him a small smile.

His eyes glanced at Brandon before going back to mine, guilt spread over his face and smiled back, holding up one finger to tell me to wait.

I watched as he made his way around and into the ice cream parlour, myself coming face to face with the man I once thought was a father figure to me.

**Sorry this has taken so long. And I know its not the best chapter... but I wanted to just get out and put another chapter out so I could get out of this rut :) is that the right wording?**

**Lol.**

**I'm going to write the next one now, so perhaps there will be another one tonight as well, or the morning... :) to make up for the absence of chapters.**

**Luv all my readers.**

**Thank you**

**x o x o x o**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter sixteen

"Bella, how have you been?" Charlie asked as he stood awkwardly at my table.

I stood and gave him a hug, scooting down the bench so he could sit. "I've been good. I'm really happy with the Cullen's"

He smiled "I'm glad then" He turned to Brandon "And who is this fella?"  
I gave a breath as I realised Charlie didn't know I had named Brandon after him. "This is Brandon Charlie Swan. Brandon honey, this is Charlie, he looked after me for a while before you were born"  
He smiled a messy, sticky smile, holding out his cone "Want some?" He asked Charlie.

Charlie laughed and then turned to me, his eyes were brimmed with tears "You named him, his middle name? After me?" He asked.

I nodded "You were the first father I trusted... it meant something to me, even if it ended on bad terms"

He didn't say anything, except wrapped his arms around me comfortingly. "Thank you" he whispered in my ear before breaking apart and turning to chat with Charlie.

We didn't talk about much, we just caught up with everything, happy to be in touch again... but knew this talk would lead to any happy father-daughter moments. I had moved on, he had probably moved on, and now I had Carlisle.

I left him after, Brandon was getting bored, and said that we'd see each other soon. I was happy to have closure, knowing he was happy and now knowing our departure from each other, from that family I once lived with, didn't end on a bad note, for the first time ever.

* * *

I was parked in the school parking lot, sitting in the car and waiting for Alice to get out for lunch. I was going to take her to a cafe. I hadn't had time with her for ages and felt like doing this. The bell rang and I checked the back seat, where Brandon slept peacefully.

The door opened and Alice stuck her head in "Hey, can I bring a friend today?"  
I shrugged, disappointed that I wasn't going to be having a sister lunch, but happy she had a friend to bring, it had been difficult for her to make them. "Of course Alice"  
She ran off and then came back, going into the back seat with her friend, Brandon in between them.

I peaked at them through the mirror, and had to stop the gasp. Alice's friend had a top that clearly showed off her not yet complete chest, the bottom of her stomach, her shorts were cut her thigh and she had her shoes covered with heels. Her face was covered with make up.

I glanced at Alice and let out my breath, noticing she wasn't dressed like that. But in some jeans and a singlet top, with a jacket over it, which still covered enough for her age.

"Bella, this is Jane. Jane this is my sister Bella"  
Jane smiled at me, but there was something off about it.

"Its nice to meet you Jane."  
"yeah, nice to meet you too" she mumbled, turning to Alice and started whispering.

Once at the restaurant, it was basically Alice and Jane talking, and Brandon and me watching. I observed Jane a few times ignore Alice's suggestion.

"So, we could go to the movies or dinner and then the movies" Alice suggested, talking about this weekend.

"Or, we could go to Brock's party" Jane said excitedly.

Alice shrugged and I caught her eye, she smiled weakly. I shook my head, knowing all too well that she wouldn't be allowed to go to that party. I knew Brock, he tried to pick up almost every girl in school. He even asked Rosalie and me.

"So, Bella, how old were you when you lost your virginity?" Jane asked out of the blue.

I chocked on my drink and saw Alice shake her head. "Um, that's a bit personal Jane"  
"No, you've obviously had sex, cause of the baby... but I'm trying to work out what the best age is, I'm almost 13... I don't want to be uncool"

I chocked again "Jane, you do not want to have sex when you are only 13... it is not good honey, wait a few years, 5 even! Its whenever your ready"  
"Well, I am ready, what about you Alice?"  
Alice blushed "um... I don't know"

Jane changed the subject after that, and went on to talk about the party at Brocks. I didn't like this girl.. not one bit.

About half an hour later I drove both of them back and dropped them off. "Alice" I called, making her stop and put her head through the window I had put down. "You and I need to talk when I get home"

She nodded before skipping off and catching up with Jane... who didn't wait for her.

…..................

I was sleeping on the couch, Brandon upstairs when someone came home home. I woke when the door slammed, making me jump up and swerve around. "Oh, Bella dear. I didn't think you'd be home" Esme exclaimed.

I watched as she opened the door further and in trudged Rose and Jasper. Rose looked awful, bruises now appearing on her once clear face, Jasper was just as bruised but also covered now in tiny little scars littering his face. But his grey hood over his face pulled tight made it hard to see that. They were both looking intently at the floor, as if ashamed to look at me.

Carlisle followed in after them. "Bella, oh, Hi"  
"Yes... I live here..."  
"Oh, no dear, don't worry, we just wanted to let these two get comfortable before you lot got home" Esme explained, "But not to worry, Rose, Jasper, would you like a drink?"  
"Oh, Oh" I mumbled, it catching up. They had said yes. We had two new siblings. "I'll go for a walk then." I said, grabbing Brandon and slipping on some shoes and jackets. "See you in an hour" I said, reaching up and kissing Carlisle's cheek, since I passed him and smiled happily to the two teenagers.

They both avoided my eyes as I walked out and into the light spitting rain.

I ran with Brandon, jumped in puddles and got muddy. As we walked back from our walk, Brandon's hand in mine, I saw Rose sitting on the porch swing, bundled up in what appeared to be Jasper's jacket, it was too big for her, a mug of a steamy substance in her hand. She smiled weakly when she saw me.

"Hi" I said, lifting Brandon up, who squealed as I spun him around and then began to take off his shoes. I then took the rest of his clothes off, because his wet, and placed him inside. "Go see Grandma" I told him as he ran off only in his nappy, the house was heated, so it wouldn't be cold in there.

I sat next to Rose, holding Brandon's wet clothing in my lap. "Are you okay?" I asked.

She shrugged "Its all happened so fast... I mean, its like, they jumped at the opportunity, the system people, there like, Carlisle and Esme want to adopt you? Yes then! You have to go with them... it was like, we weren't wanted, or worth the trouble to them"

"Your looking at this the wrong way. Rose, you really don't want to go to an orphanage, really. You'd only be there a year at the most, and then you'd have to go survive on your own... that would not be the best option. And your wanted Rose, you and Jasper are both wanted. Trust me. Would Carlisle and Esme come to quickly in to get you not want you? Would the talk we had last night, with all of us agreeing, not want you? Honey, your wanted okay, even if it isn't from your birth parents, hey, none of our parents wanted us. So please, don't feel your not wanted... not any more"  
She looked at me for a good long time before putting down her cup and then bursting into tears, wrapping her arms around me.

* * *

"Bella, honey, we were wondering if you would share with Rose?" Esme asked as she met us on the swing.  
I shrugged "I don't mind, Rose?"  
"Anywhere is good with me"  
"Great, you two go up and start sorting it out, I'll order you a bed and desk Rose, and you can probably share Bella's closet, she doesn't use half of it" Esme explained.

I shrugged "I don't need that much clothes."  
"Take Jasper, Alice and Edward will be back soon, and we want to tell them before throwing them into the deep end"  
Rose let me lead her upstairs, stopping in the lounge to get Jasper.

"Do you know where your sleeping Jasper?" I asked, as we made the sometimes long journey to my room.

I peaked into Carlisle and Esme's room as we passed because of the small giggles and found him and Brandon laying on the bed, a book in between them.

"yeah, the guest room, on the girls floor!" He said.

Jasper sat on my bed reading a parenting magazine that was on my bed side table. "Bella, this is really interesting..." He stated, flipping through it.

"Your strange" I said, laughing as he threw it at me.

Rose was in my closet, unpacking, I heard her laugh.

I sat next to Jasper and sighed "Are you okay?" I asked, in a slight whisper so Rose wouldn't hear.

He didn't answer for a few moments, "Yes" He said simply before going to retrieve my magazine.

I frowned but didn't push it any further, I only said, "If you need someone to talk to, someone other than Rose because you might be afraid you would upset her, I'm here..."  
He smiled "Thanks, really... thank you"

We all heard Alice and Edward come home.

"Edward, your such an ass" Alice's voice rang from all the way downstairs.

I heard a chuckle "I'm not the one to hang out with those losers. If you want me to drop off your friends, at least make good ones!"

"They are good!" She exclaimed "Just different to your friends, anyway, you only have family as your friends" She pointed out.

"What about Rose and Jasper"  
Silence for a second.

"They might becoming family! They don't count!"  
"Alice and Edward, would you stop yelling, seriously your worse than when Emmett gets into a argument with Brandon" Carlisle exclaimed.

Jasper and Rose were staring wide eyed at the door, surprised by the noise.

"You get used to it" I pointed out.

A crying alerted to me that I actually have a little boy somewhere. "I gotta go get there, you two happy to stay up here"  
"Yeah, we'll stay until the two loud mouths know what's going on" Jasper decided as I left the room and jogged downstairs, not a good idea. I tripped on the last one.

Brandon laughed at my fall and I growled, running and jumping over him as he squealed on the couch. "I'm going to eat you now!" I shouted, pressing my lips on anywhere I could get.

"Mama, no! Stop! Mummy!!"

"Bella?" I heard Esme say

I turned and apologised, sitting down properly after realising they were about to share the news with Edward and Alice.

"Okay, so we talked to Rose and Jasper, and they've decided to come home with us" Esme said straight forward. I wonder what had happened when they talked about me coming here.

"When are they coming?" Edward asked.

At the same time Alice said "Where are they sleeping?" 

"Jasper is sleeping in the guest room. Rose is going to be sharing with Bella"  
Edward and Alice turned to me, eyebrows raised.

"What?" I said, defending myself "I can share"  
"Says the person who wouldn't let me have any ice cream last night" Alice said disappointedly

"Or the person who wouldn't let me have a go on the computer, even though you had been on for like an hour" Edward added.

"You like to use my study a lot..." Carlisle muttered.

I gasped at him "I share!"

Everyone laughed after that and turned back to Alice's question.

"Well, guys, there actually already here" Carlisle announced causing Alice to squeal and Edward to mutter something.

"Where?!" Alice said, clapping her hands.

"Alice, they've been through a lot dear, and there up in Bella's room" Esme said, smiling at her daughters excitement.

Alice went to go and run upstairs but I pulled her back. "Don't forget about our chat" I hissed in her ear as she leant back into me after I yanked her backwards.

She grimaced at me and went to run up again "Wait for Esme to go get them" I told her, loudly this time.

She huffed and plopped down next to me. She crossed her arms angrily. "I hate your party pooping moods"

I kissed her cheek and she cringed away, so, me feeling all active today, turned her face and pecked her lips. She made a face "Gross Bella"

Rose and Jasper made there way downstairs, smiling weakly at us. Rose's eyes settled comfortably on mine, because I already showed her I was okay with this, and then moved to Alice and her smile lifted at the sight of my happy sister. It faltered for a moment on Edward, who wasn't as happy as Alice, but wasn't angry.

I saw Esme and Carlisle slip out, letting us speak alone.  
"Come sit down" I said, breaking the silence.

Rose sat next to me, leaning slightly toward me, nervously. Jasper sat on the foot rest in front of us all. "Well, I'm just going to ask the first question that comes to my mind. Are you both okay with us coming here, to live here?" Jasper asked.

Edward's form relaxed, knowing they were nervous. "Jasper, Rose, if anyone is more excepting to you two moving in here, to our home, would be us. We all came from other families who didn't want us. We all had hard pasts. If anything, your more than welcome here. What are we to stop people from having a good future?" Edward said, leaning forward and resting there arms on his knees. "This home, our home, is your home now, and I couldn't be more excepting"

Jasper smiled and turned to Alice, Rose turning as well.  
Alice melted in Jasper's gaze, letting me confirm that she did have a crush on him. "I'm fine with it. The more the merrier!" Alice said... or shouted... or squealed.

Brandon had been silent the whole time, occupied with the tv, but he piped up now saying, "Jazzy! Rosie! Play with me?" He asked my friends... no, my brother and sister.

After I put Brandon down to sleep for the night I went and checked on Rose, who was taking a nap in my, well, our room. She was still asleep so I left her and went to find Alice.

I went in the games room, but it was only Edward and Jasper. "Where's Alice?" I asked.

Edward shrugged, his eyes not going off his book. I think it was something to do with a piano.

"Do you know where the parents are?" I asked him.

He shrugged, again.

"Your hopeless" I sighed.

He didn't even respond.

"Alice is working with Esme in the kitchen and I think Carlisle got called in to work." Jasper answered, smiling up at me.

"Your my favourite" I told him as I left for the kitchen.

I sat at the bar stool in the kitchen and spun around, determined to make sure Alice would not go to this party on the weekend. "So Alice" I started.

She gave me a pleaded look. It wasn't that I didn't trust her. I just didn't trust her friends, even Jane. She seemed bitchy.  
"I just got an email. Brock's invited me to this party on Saturday" I explained, it wasn't a lie, because I actually got the email. I laughed at his attempt to get senior girls at this 13 year olds party. "Are you going?" I asked her.

Alice almost threw the spoon at me.

"Brock, I know him" Esme said, looking at me with confusion "Why did you get an invite Bella, isn't he in Alice's year"

"Yep. And I have no idea"

"I don't think I want you going Alice" Esme stated.

"But mum! Everyone's going" She whined. I could see the tears of frustration. I felt bad, but it was for a good reason, I just got a bad feeling when I thought of her going to that party.

"I'll talk to your father later about it, when is the party?" Esme asked, slapping my hands as I tried to get some of the cookie dough.

"This Saturday" Alice mumbled, pounding the dough.

Esme left the kitchen to go found the cookie tray, why it wasn't in the kitchen, is unknown to me.  
"Why did you do that? Do you want me to be a loner?!" She whispered furiously.

I cupped her cheeks in my hands "Alice, honey, your a loser for hanging out with them, there using you!"  
She pulled away "Just because you've been through so much doesn't mean your always right! Stop assuming things Bella, I'm not your little sister any more, I'm not a baby! I don't need you to cuddle me any more!" She hissed, turning back to the dough when Esme came in.

That hurt, the fact that she said she wasn't my little sister any more stung in my heart because she hasn't been that for long anyway.

I wiped away a tear before she could see. "You'll thank me one day" I whispered, not sure that she heard me, before I left to go and wake up Rose.

I went into the room and found Rose not in the bed, so I checked the closet, and still no Rose, so I went to the bathroom.  
I gasped in shock. Rose was sprawled out on the bathroom floor, propped up by the cabinet behind her, her arm lying next to her, the red blood spilling out and staining the once white tiles. A razor in her other hand. Her face held pain and fear, but on her lips, was a small smile. My body almost reflexively went into action. Grabbing the towel as I passed the rack I knelt down next to Rose, taking the razor from her hand and throwing it into the sink as I wrapped her other wrist tightly in the towel.

The red blood on the tiles bringing back the inevitable picture.

_The blood was... everywhere... there was so much. Her arms and legs laid useless in the bloody pool beside her. _

"Rose!" I shouted, patting her cheek, needing her to wake up. How much blood has she lost? "ESME!?" I screamed toward the door. "Rose, honey please wake up"  
Her eyes opened lazily for one second "I wanted control" she murmured before her head fell back.

I was trying to get her to stay awake, talking and telling her things, but it wasn't working. "ESME!" I shouted again. I could hear crying from Brandon's room. He would have to wait.

She appeared in the door way, the blood from her face drained and she froze, she actually froze and didn't know what to do. Well fuck, now I have a dying sister and a mother whose frozen in an emergency.

"ESME! Help me take her to the car" I ordered, knowing it was easier for us to drive rather than use the ambulance.

Esme snapped out of it and helped me get her up, Edward, Alice and Jasper were outside my door. Jasper swore loudly and started mumbling something.

"Edward, Alice stay here, look after Brandon" I ordered as we passed. "Jasper, help us get her to the car"  
They all did as they were told, thankfully and soon I was speeding down toward the hospital. Jasper was in the back applying pressure onto Rose's wrist and Esme was staring straight forward, it looked like she was going to be sick.

She seemed to come back and shook her head slightly. I turned my own view back to the road. We don't need an accident.  
"Bella, I'm sorry honey I didn't mean to freeze" She mumbled, her hands clasped tightly on her lap.

I shrugged "its okay, I've had to act quickly before"  
"There was just so much blood... I wasn't used to it all... so much"  
Yeah, because I'm just so used to blood. But I didn't say that. Didn't need to make her feel worse.

Once we got Rose into the hospital, nurses began to take over and Jasper actually turned threatening. Carlisle came up to him. "Jasper, we need to take her to get her sorted out, wait here with Bella and Esme" He said, trying to calm him down.

But Jasper was furious "Bring me back Rose!" He screamed, taking Carlisle's shoulder roughly with one hand and holding the other back, as if he was about to punch him.

"Jasper, honey, calm down" Esme added, placing a hand on his shoulder. He swiped at it.

"Stop! I want Rose!"

I stepped up. "JASPER HALE you shut your mouth right now, Put that hand down! No one is getting hit! Sit on that fucking seat and listen. They are taking Rose to save her you idiot. Do as your told! Your making it harder!" I shouted, pointing at the seat.

He stared at me and then sat down, crossing his arms.

I smiled, and took a mental bow.

I sat down next to him as Esme wandered off to sign some things. "sorry, for... over reacting"

I sighed and wrapped my arm around his shoulders "Don't be sorry, you were only protecting her. It's understandable"  
"I almost hit Carlisle, I sure thought about it"  
"Well, you didn't. So it doesn't matter"  
We were both quiet for a while "Where both broken... so broken"

"But not un fixable" I stated sternly.

"But she just tried to kill herself! How can we fix that?! Are you speaking from experience?!"

I debated silently whether or not to tell him something I have never told anyone else. "Sort of. I never tried to kill myself, but I did cut... for a while" I admitted, showing him my wrist.

You could see the small white lines that coated the skin.

"I wanted to be in control with something in my life. I used to do this during a time where I didn't even have control over my body..." I explained. "She told me while she was half out of it that she 'wanted to be control'"

"How do we show her she is in control"  
"Baby steps" I said.

We fell into silence and waited. Esme came in shortly. "She's coming home tonight because Carlisle is able to be there. So lets all head home, he'll bring her home, and then we can clean up before she gets there"  
I drove back and then immediately went and showered, then cleaned up the bathroom. Once I checked on Brandon, I headed downstairs.

"Okay, so let me explain it to everyone, they should be home soon" Esme said, settling down next to Alice on the couch. I glanced at the clock, 1.30am. I guess everyone might be having no school tomorrow. "She's on whats called suicide watch"

Jasper cringed at the word.

"So she is not to be alone, someone needs to be with her all the time."  
"Even when she pees" Alice asked, yawning.

"She needs to have to door open, but the person doesn't need to stand and watch her" Esme said lightly. "Alice go up to bed honey, your exhausted"  
Alice nodded sleepily heading upstairs.

"So, that will most likely be Bella and Jasper" She said, looking at both of us.

We just nodded, not really knowing what to say. They had just gotten here, and now Rose is on suicide watch... it didn't turn out to be a good start.

I heard the car pull up, and then shortly after, Carlisle entered guiding a tired looking, depressed, exhausted, emotional, Rose inside in front of him.

Jasper jumped up and ran at her, pulling her into his arms. I tugged Edward up and out of the room, guessing they wanted privacy. He followed me until we passed his bedroom and then I continued on my own, checking on Alice and then Brandon as I reached my room.

I double checked the bathroom was clean before changing and getting into bed and beginning to read while I waited for Rose to come. No point in going to sleep if she was going to come and wake me up anyway.

She came up about half an hour later, she didn't say anything, she only changed in the closet then climbed in bed and turned the other way.

I put my book down and turned off the lamp, pulling the blankets close. "Goodnight Rose" I whispered.

"Night" She said, so quietly I didn't think I heard her.

Poor Rose


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter seventeen

I woke up, thinking I heard something. But as I sat up, it was quiet, glancing at the clock, it told me it was 6.30am. Figuring I had to be up soon anyway, I went and took a quick shower, the bathroom door open ajar so I could keep an ear on Rose. Just in case.

I came back out, relieved to find her still asleep, and sat on my chair and read the book, waiting for the rest of the house to wake up.

Rose started to turn and move roughly in the bed, a small noise escaping. She started to cry out for help and when she screamed, I jumped, running to her bed and putting my hand on her forehead. "Rose, wake up! Its just a dream" I said, knowing that she must be reliving some moment.

Her hands clawed at her wrists. "No... Control" She choked out.

I took her shoulders and shook her desperately "Wake up! Please!" I begged, knowing everyone else will be coming up soon to see what was going on. She didn't need to wake up to an audience.

"ROSALIE!" I screamed.

At my voice and the level of it, her eyes opened, taking in her surroundings, then resting on me.

Then she broke down and began to sob. She held onto me as if she would fall if she let go, so I did the only thing someone who knew slightly what she was going through would do, I moved behind her and wrapped my arms completely around her, rocking slightly. She rested her head on my shoulder and cried for everything that had happened.

And I didn't leave.

An hour passed and everyone was awake and moving. Esme had come in and once she saw what was happening, left and got Brandon for me.

We were left alone after that, and soon, Rose stopped crying but still held on. "I'm sorry Bella, you must think I'm weird" She laughed  
I shook my head "If your weird, then I'm weird" I stated, pulling her closer. "And I don't like to think I'm weird... so lets make the conclusion that neither of us are weird"

She laughed. But it sounded off.

"Rose, listen, your going to get through this, your not alone"  
"Sometimes, it feels like no one in the world is experiencing what I'm going through, but I know that's not true... but it still feels like it"  
"I know honey, feels like your alone in the world, with no one to care about you... but its not true, okay. You have your brother and now us, we wont let you down."

She smiled at me, but still wasn't convinced.

"When I first arrived here, I was terrified they'd hit me, or beat me, or leave. That was the worst thing, them leaving. But you know, almost 3 or something years later, and there still here, helping and letting me be loved. And I couldn't be happier. So trust me, if anyone knows the feelings or fear of being left alone, its me. So you can trust me, the Cullen's, they aren't going to leave you... Your going to be happy here"

* * *

I went to school, against my will, Carlisle practically ordered me to go and Edward helped Esme push me in the car. Alright, perhaps I was over exaggerating, but I didn't want to go!

It was Friday today, so tomorrow I could just, bum around the house! Yay!

Alice jumped into the car once she finished talking to Esme and then we all waved goodbye, me more dramatically than the others.

School passed quickly, which I was glad for, and soon we were driving back.

"Mum!" Alice shouted as soon as she was gone, running past Carlisle who had pulled into the house at the same time, I laughed at his rejected look, so I went up and hugged him.  
"Its okay" I whispered, patting his back.

Inside, I heard Alice asking to sleepover her friends house, passing them, I went in search of Brandon, who was sitting and watching Brum on the TV.

"Baby Boo, Mummy's home" I said, my smile leaving when he didn't even turn around.

"Wow, whose rejected now" Carlisle said as he passed us for the stairs.

I threw the ball on the floor at him and flopped onto the couch beside Jasper.

"Where's Rose?" I asked him.

He panicked for a second but then pointed behind the couch.

I knelt up and looked down the back of the couch to find Rose stuff in there between the wall and then the couch. It had obviously been moved forward so she could fit, but it was just the most random thing to have done.

"Uh, Why Rose?" I asked.

She looked over the top of her book at me, grinning. "No reason" She said.

I left her in her spot and then went to find something to do, deciding to make dinner, I consulted the weekly menu we have on the fridge. Its weird, but after a rather hilarious argument with Emmett who wanted to know what he was having for dinner in advance so he knew whether or not to look forward to it, Esme decided to put up a whiteboard on the fridge and write down everything that we were going to be eating that week.

I pulled out the chicken to crumb, Chicken Parmigiana, or what I like to call: Chicken in pyjamas, was what was on the list for Friday night. Yay!

After I crumbed them, Esme came in and helped me cook then and the vegetables.  
"Alice has gone to her friends place for tonight, so there'll be left overs"  
I nodded "How did she get there?" I asked, usually I was pleaded with for a ride.

"Carlisle took her, he should be back soon"

At dinner, I began to feel off, not the sick feeling off, but like something bad was going to happen. I helped Esme clean the dishes and then watched movies with everyone.

Still, the bad feeling stayed.

Breakfast passed uneventful and so did lunch and then the afternoon.

"Esme, where's Alice?" I asked, wondering when she was coming home.

"She's staying at her friends tonight as well" Esme explained as she made a pie for after dinner tonight.

I shook the feeling away and began to help with dinner. We all ate and then watched a movie, it was 9pm when I crawled into the bed to read, and when my phone rang.

"Bella" A quiet voice asked as I answered, in the background, I could hear a lot of people in the background.

"Alice? Alice is that you, where are you? I can barely hear you!"

Someone in the background was calling her name.

"I have to go, can you come and get me though? Please" She sounded like she was crying.  
I got out of bed and ran to get jeans on "Where are you?"  
"Don't!" She said away from the phone and then she said clearer "Brock's party"

Then the line went dead.

What was happening?!  
I threw on a sweat shirt, I think it was Edwards, I wasn't sure, I had taken it from one of the boys, and then left into my car, not letting anyone know where I was actually going because they would all worry too. So I shouted out I was going to the store for a quick second, Edward shouting back to get him something, and then I left quickly.

I drove to Brock's house, which I remembered going past before, and pulled up to a home full of teenagers, music and most likely, alcohol.

I entered without knocking, the door was open anyway, and looked for someone I knew. I saw Jane, Alice's 'friend' drinking something from those plastic red cups and a boy sucking off her neck. How old was she again? Disgusting.

I almost ran over to her and threw the cup away. "Where is Alice?!" I asked, staring right into her eyes.

She was drunk, but she somehow managed to realise this was important so she pointed upwards, "Don't you ever invite my sister anywhere again" I threatened running up the stairs.

I checked each room I passed, one room, a couple making out, another room, the bathroom, someone throwing up, the other room, someone passed out, and the last room, two people also making out, but one was struggling.

I think I may have said something as I tore the guy off of her, but it was all a blur, all I remember was how she looked at me as if she was so relieved, her skirt had risen up, her top strap broken and the guy who was now talking gibberish, had done that.

So I turned and realised, that it was in fact Brock, the birthday boy.  
I knelt down to his level, his eyes met mine and he grinned "I can do sister and sister"

"Happy Birthday" I whispered before pulling my fist back and hitting him hard in the nose, I felt it break, but I didn't care, at all.

I helped Alice look like she hadn't been attacked and then drove us home in silence.

"Bella, please don't tell Mum or Dad"  
I shook my head.

I was going to tell them. So she could learn more of a lesson, so she never did anything like that again.

"Bella, please, I already plan on not going to one again! Please don't get me in trouble"  
"Your face, how are you going to explain that" I asked, angrily looking at her and then the road.

She frowned and peered into the mirror, gasping. Her left cheek was covered in a bruise and her right eye was black. On her neck, was a clear and prominent love bite.

"Oh No" She moaned, taking her head in her hands.  
"I told you not to go" I whispered as I parked in the driveway, turning off the engine. "So why did you?"  
I saw as a tear fell from her eye, and then another. "I didn't want you to be right" She whispered, I don't think I would have heard her if I didn't see her mouth move. "I wanted to prove that you were wrong"  
"Why?" I asked, my own tears almost falling now.

"Because..." She said, then turned to me "Because I want to be the better sister" She shouted "But apparently, I can't even be better than a fucked up, mother to a two year old, who still cries at night and is scared of the dark! Apparently, I can't be better than someone whose been through so much crap!" She took a deep breath "I hate the fact that it hurts me to feel so angry toward you, because I resent your good luck, I hate how everything has worked out for you! What about me?! I want to be loved like you" and then she pushed the door open and stormed out.

That night was full with tears, yelling and groundings done of Carlisle and Esme's part, towards Alice.

I walked passed the door to there room at about 1am after watching two movies, I didn't want to sleep. Rose was already in bed, Jasper reading while she slept, because I hadn't wanted to go yet.

"Bella" Carlisle called.

I pushed there door open. They were both lying in bed, Carlisle with his arm around Esme. "Yes?" I asked. I was tired. Tired of everything. Tired of having to fix everything. Or so it seemed.

"Thank you honey, for going after her"

"I wasn't going to leave her there" I said.

They wanted to say more, but I shook my head and left for my room, passing Alice's room on the way.

I wasn't ready to talk to her, so instead, I just thanked Jasper for hanging out in here, and climbed into the bed, I hugged the spare pillow to my chest, tears leaking. When did Alice and I drift apart so much that she wouldn't trust me, so that she would go behind my back to prove I was wrong. What happened that made her think she was loved less than me.. what made her think those things?

I hadn't realised it affected me that much... knowing that she and I, were on rocky terms...

In the morning, Rose was gone. I panicked. Jumping up and checking the bathroom and closet, and then running downstairs. "Rose?!" I called once I landed on the bottom floor.  
My heart slowed once I saw her staring up at me, wide eyed, watching television. "You were sleeping, I didn't want to wake you..." She explained.

I took a quick look around, noticing no one was here. "Rose. Your not supposed to be alone" I warned.

"I wasn't going to do anything" She said honestly

I sighed "I know, but you worried me, that's all" I admitted, sitting down and leaning close to her. She moved so she could wrap the blanket around me.

"Bella, you've helped me a lot you know, simply by saying someone would always be here... made me so much better."

I nodded.

"Your so strong" She whispered.

I sniffed, if she thought I was strong, then there was no need to let her know what was really happening... that I was falling apart at the seams... that I could break any moment.

I left for the kitchen, not wanting to break down in front of Rose. I took a seat at the breakfast counter and buried my head in my arms.

I heard someone come in and I quickly shot up and made it look like I was getting coffee, I wiped my face as the kettle boiled.

It was Alice. She trudged down the stairs and into the kitchen, her pyjama pants covered with sheep and her jacket over her top because it was cold. Her short pixie hair, reminding me of something we did together, pointed out in all directions.

She looked at me and her face went slightly pink, but ignored me as she got her breakfast.

I got my coffee and stood in front of her as she ate from the bowl. "We need to talk" I whispered, looking at the brown liquid in the cup.

She looked up and met my eyes for one moment before she took her bowl into the lounge room.

I couldn't help it then, I left my cup and stormed passed Alice and Rose. "Rose, can watch Brandon please? I'm going for a walk" I said, and once Rose said sure, I grabbed a coat and then boots and walked straight out and into the forest.

I didn't realise I had grabbed Edwards jacket, but kept it on as I walked farther and farther into the forest, not caring where I went. I just needed to get away, I needed to breath.

I kept walking until I reached a small clearing. Here I sat down on a log and covered my face with my hands and burst into tears.

It just wasn't fair. All I've ever wanted was a loving family, and now that I have it, Alice hates me... what's worth more, her love, her everyone else's. Well, that was easy, hers. She means the most to be, her and Brandon, but without her trust or love or just being there, I was half broken again.  
I didn't want to be broken again.

I must have stayed out here a long time, because soon I was shivering from the cold. I could see snow beginning to fall.

Deciding this was bad for my health, I stood up and began to stumble my way home, checking my watch and realising it said 1pm, I realised I had been there for about 4 hours... everyone is going to be so worried.

I felt like I was going around in circles and after an hour of walking, came to the conclusion I was lost. Fucking shit. I didn't want to deal with this, not now.

"Hello?!" I called out into the forest.

Nothing

"Can anyone hear me?!" I screamed. "ESME? CARLISLE?"

I leant against a tree and checked the pockets of the jacket. My hand found Edwards phone and I checked it. No missed calls. I guess they hadn't tried his phone. I was relieved when it said it had reception and quickly dialled home.

"Cullen residence" Said Carlisle, his voice was strained and there was a commotion in the background.

"How long has she been gone?" I heard Esme ask someone outside of the phone.

"Carlisle? It's Bella" I said.  
"I'm sorry, your breaking up? Who are you?" He asked, telling people to be quiet.  
"ITS BELLA" I yelled into the phone.

"Bella, where are you? What's happened?" He said, sounding relieved.

"I'm in the forest, I'm lost"  
He swore and began to explain things to the others.

I looked around, trying to find something to identify my position but froze when I saw it. A bear. Not big, no, but it was big enough... to eat me.

"Carlisle?" I whispered, not moving. "Carlisle please"

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"Its... its... a... a..."

"What Bella"

"Bear"

"Shit." Carlisle swore. I've never heard him swear before. "Listen, Emmett's just gone out to find you, look for him, don't scare the bear, just stay still"

"Okay" I whispered, staring at its hands... its claws.

"Bella, honey just stay calm" Esme said into the phone.

The Bear took a step closer. It growled.

There was rustling for the phone and then a voice could be heard. "Bella?" Alice said softly.

The Bear stood on its hind legs, looking down on me.

I took a step back, a twig broke. The bear roared.

"Bella, I'm So-"

I screamed.

I dropped the phone which had Alice calling for me.

I ran.

And Ran.

The Bear followed.

**Oh When will it end?! Bella has horrible luck. Oh well, it makes a good story**

**Review with some ideas... I always need more ideas... where do you guys want this story to go??**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter eighteen

I had been running no less than 5 seconds when I tripped on a log and fell face first, my arm bending the wrong way and my hips, which I had forgotten about the fact they had been broken years ago, screamed in agony. My arm cracked.

I rolled over just as the bear swiped at me and then rolled the other way to avoid his claw again. "Stop!" I screamed at him as I got up and dodged him again. How was I avoiding death so well?

The bear stared at me for a while before it shrieked and stepped forward again.

Why was it after me!

The bear stood again and rose up, roaring.  
"BELLA" I heard Emmett cry out. Oh thank god!

"Emmett!" I screamed as I saw him come and stand in front of me, a shot gun in his hand. When did we get a shot gun?

"Stay behind me" he ordered, aiming the gun.

It fired. Twice. The loudest sound erupted making me cover my ears. They rang as the bear stumbled backwards, but it didn't fall.  
Instead, it went and pawed at Emmett. I heard his claws connect to Emmett's chest as he fell backwards at my feet, the gun left to the side.  
"NO!" I screamed, jumping in front of my now unconscious brother. I grabbed the gun and felt around in Emmett's jacket for bullets. Once I found them I finished loading it, ignoring the fact that I didn't actually know what I was doing. The bear continued to come after us.

I aimed it at the bear and closed my eyes as I fired, praying it would hit.

I heard a roar of agony and then felt the ground shake as it fell.

But the bear still got up. It was now bleeding from its chest and stomach. How is it still alive?!

I aimed again and carefully lined up the gun with his head, stepping backwards as he stepped forwards.  
I was shaking, my hands were shaking, but I wasn't going to give up.  
It came closer, and closer, as if testing my patience. But I was going to wait until he was as close as possible, that way I'd have more of a chance at actually hitting him in his head.

He was about 2 metres away when he reached back with his paw, and 2 metres away when I fired, making him stare at me for one long second and then falling back, frozen. Dead.

Thank God that was over.

I turned and fear washed over me again. My brother, in his white shirt now covered in blood, was desperately trying to apply pressure to his cuts.

I took of my jacket and laid it on top of him as I too frantically tried to stop the bleeding. "Which way did you come from?" I asked, knowing I wouldn't be able to move him.

"That way, its about 5minutes, if you run" He choked out.

"I'll be back, I'm going to get Carlisle" I said before kissing his cheek. "Stay alive"  
He groaned in pain "Love you Bells" he mumbled before I ran off towards the direction he pointed me in.

I tripped, fell and scrapped many surfaces, each time I fell my arm bent a little more. It was broken, I knew that much.

"Carlisle?!" I screamed as I ran towards nothing, hoping I was going the right way.

"CARLISLE?"

I tripped again and fell forward, my head hitting the hard floor. I felt and saw blood trickle down my face. "Dad" I mumbled, not realising what was going on any more.  
All I knew was I had to get up, I had to find Carlisle.

Tears were falling now, mixing in with my blood as I continued to run, half blind, half unconscious and in pain.

Suddenly, I saw a break in the trees, light filtered through it and beyond that, I saw the house. The sanctuary.

"DAD!" I screamed, still half out of it, falling over yet again, hitting my head, yet again.

Carlisle came running out and came to my side.

"Da....Emm...Bear...COME!" I managed to choke out before grabbing his arm and pulling him into the forest.

"Jasper, Edward? Come too, we'll need to carry him out" Carlisle ordered before letting me drag him away.

The boys were following, I was leading the way, still not really knowing the exact way there.

I fell over again and Carlisle helped me up. "Bella, your bleeding" He said, touching my head.

"NO. Emmett, he's dying!" I said, running off.

I wiped my eyes, getting the blood out of the way because really, it was falling fast. How hard had I hit my head?

I finally found him lying on the side of the path I had been taking, well, more like the path of my destruction.  
The boys all ran around him, Carlisle taking out bandages, and all tried to help. I leant against a tree and closed my eyes, swaying slightly. I felt sick.

I fell to my knees to try and stop the swaying but the motion made me turn over and throw up. Carlisle shot me a panicked look. "She's lost too much blood" He whispered. But I heard him.

It was hard to breath, why couldn't I breath?

I saw them begin to carry Emmett away, Jasper and Edward had him in there arms, while Carlisle came towards me. "Can you walk?" He asked, raising his arms.

I nodded, I think, and began to follow Jasper, who was at the back, I didn't fall because I tripped this time, I kept falling out of conciousness.

I would pass out and then wake up and I'd be falling. This happened several times and after the 5th time, Carlisle had me in his arms.

"I'm too heavy" I slurred, not understanding the words myself.

"Stay awake Bella" Carlisle ordered me.  
But I couldn't, it felt as if my head was on fire, I couldn't get enough air and my eyelids were trying to glue themselves shut.

"I'm sorry I walked off... I didn't mean to get lost" I whispered, getting better control of my words.

"No one blames you Bella"  
"Emmett" I mumbled, looking toward him.

I heard a grunt in his direction and smiled.

"No one blames you" Carlisle repeated.

I could feel the blackness coming over again. It had happened so much before, so many times in my life, that I recognised it as a sign of relief, a sign of a stage of life where the pain goes away. "Tell Alice... Tell her I love her" I said before turning my head towards Carlisle and taking comfort in his presence.

"Do not go to sleep" Carlisle ordered, breathing heavily, I must be heavy.

I mumbled something but the smell of someone familiar and the rocking of his steps made me accept the sweeping unconsciousness.

"Bella" I heard him say "Don't go to sleep"  
But I couldn't see him any more, his voice sounded far away. "Don't Sleep"

"Dad" I managed to say before going completely asleep.

* * *

Voice were coming clearly as I found my hearing.

"Concussion, broken arm, multiple scraps" I heard someone murmur beside me.

"Dr. Cullen, do you wish to observe your son's surgery?

I could hear sirens, I was in an ambulance.

I managed to peel my eyes open and the first thing I saw was red. My whole shirt was covered in blood.

_My once pretty mother now barely had a face that I could recognise. The blood was... everywhere... there was so much. Her arms and legs laid useless in the bloody pool beside her._

_I couldn't think, my heartbeat was loud in my ears as I pulled my arms in front of me, and then pulling down hard on the trigger. Daddy looked shocked, he looked like he was in pain. He fell forward and his knife cut through my arm, a long gash opening me up, my own blood pooling out of my cut._

_I stood shocked as the redness of the carpet made me almost faint. The smell flew up my nose and_

_"Jasper?!" My voice whispered, it was quavering in fear. I crept forward and his head moved so he could see me. His blood shot eyes, his blood from the corner of his mouth, his shirt cut into millions of pieces, the scarred flesh of his chest was stained red._

_He stubbled back and I stared at him, as he pulled it and the red blood flowed out of his chest and onto me._

The memories wouldn't stop. They just kept coming. I didn't like it. It hurt too much. So I screamed. I screamed and I didn't stop.

"Bella, Its Carlisle, please listen, your safe"

I couldn't stop screaming, because although I wanted to trust him all I could see was red. All I could see was the blood.

Blood

Blood

Blood

I wanted it gone.

"Sedate her" Someone whispered as I continued to scream.  
I felt something prick me in the wrist before the blackness swallowed me. For which I was grateful for.

Because black, any black, was better than red.

…..................

"When will she wake up?" I heard someone whisper, Esme, I recognised.

"Any time now, probably very soon, hopefully" Carlisle answered.

I heard someone sigh, "She called me Dad"

I thought back in my head, but I couldn't work it out, when had I called him Dad.

"I don't think she realised she was doing it, I think it was subconsciously said, because a father is someone a person trusts... so because she trusts me...she called me dad"

"Honey" Esme mumbled, I could hear rustling. "She called you that because she loves you"

I could feel my sleepy-ness coming again. And I couldn't fight it off. But I knew one thing. What Esme said, was true.

….............

"_Bella, honey" I heard my mother say in front of me. How is she in front of me? She's dead._

"_Mum?" I asked, rubbing my eyes. Sure enough, there she was, right there. I am crazy._

_She laughed, her voice lighter than I remember. "Bella honey, I know your torn. I know you want to think of Esme and Carlisle as your real parents, but your torn because there not..."  
"I don't think that" I muttered._

"_I know you haven't thought it out loud or it hasn't been one of your most prominent wishes. But its there, deep down. You have the urge. It was shown the other day, in dire situations made you result to calling Carlisle by a term of endearment, as your father, meaning you trusted him with that title, because you haven't had any good experiences with fathers."_

_I looked away, blinking back tears. Why was I crying? "I know. I know I want to. But I can't, because there not them. You are"_

"_Sweety, I'm gone. I've been gone for a long time. I don't deserve that title any more, you deserve to have real parents, ones you can actually call mum and dad."_

"_I don't want to hurt your feelings"_

"_You wouldn't. In fact, you'd be making me happy. Happy to know that you've moved on, and that you are trusting again. And that you can concur this fear"_

_I frowned "What fear?"_

"_Of your parents leaving you" She whispered._

"_Thats not true" I said angrily. Where was she getting this information? How dare she accuse me of being afraid!_

"_You fear anyone with a loving title such as Mother or Father or even Sister, will leave you. Because that's all you've known. Your real mother, me left you, your father left you. Even Alice left you! Then when you tried to get new ones, they left you again. So you haven't thought of Esme or Carlisle as your father, because you are afraid of them leaving you." She explained._

_I went to say something about Alice not leaving me, but she stopped me, almost as if she had read my mind._

"_And Alice, she got angry with you, she was jealous of you. She wanted to hate you. This made your fear more prominent... it made you loose your sister, just like you lost yourself"_

"_This isn't true"_

"_Really?" She said, as if she knew everything in the world._

_I became angry. Furious. "SHUT UP! You've been dead most of my life, how dare you come here and say these things, as if... as if you know me! I hate you! I hate you for leaving me!"_

"_See, you fear for people who might leave you!"_

"_How did you get me hating you for leaving, to me fearing people are going to leave! FUCK! Just leave me alone!"_

"_I'm right Bella" My mother said, smiling. She began to fade away._

_I covered my ears with my hands, shaking my head "YOUR WRONG, YOUR WRONG, YOUR WRONG!" I screamed as the blackness came and then the brightness of a different room appeared._

"Your Wrong!" I could hear myself repeating, over and over again.

"Bella, honey, its only a dream"

I was crying now, hugging onto the person who had said those words. "She, she was making me... she was making me feel..." I sobbed.

"What happened honey?"

"She.. She told... She told the truth" I gasped in between my crying.

"Carlisle, she's not calming down"

"Your going to... your going to leave! Your going to leave me!" I continued to cry, heaving as I tried to breath at the same time.

I felt two pairs of arms around me. "Honey, we are your parents. Where never going to leave you" I heard Carlisle whisper.

"She did. And then he did. And... and so did Alice!"

"Who did honey? Who left you?"

"My birth mother and father! And Alice, she hates me! Everyone is leaving me because I trust them. Because I give them the special names... I can't... I can't to you because then you'll leave me" I explained, still crying. I sounded so stupid.

"What are you talking about Bella, were not going any where" Esme said, sounding confused.

"The two people I've called Mother or father have left. Then the person who was my sister, left. And then Renee and Charlie, the first two people who didn't hurt me, and who I began to think of as parents, left me. Now Alice, she's mad with me and hates me... so she's left me again! I'm afraid if I associate those words with you, you two will leave"

"Bella" Esme said, pulling my face close to hers "What did I tell you when we first met?" She asked.

I thought for a moment "Was it something about being sorry for not adopting me with Alice?" I asked, confused as to why this was important.

She laughed "No, What did I promise you"

I thought harder...

_"You can always hug me Bella, any time" She whispered. "I'll always be here for you. Always. With love and mother comfort." She promised._

_I leant back to see her eyes "Don't promise me, please" I whispered. "No one keeps there promises."  
Tears formed in her own eyes. "I do" She said before hugging me again._

"You promised that you'd always keep your promises?" I suggested, thinking that would be relevant.

"Exactly. So keep this in mind with what I am about to seriously tell you" She warned.

I nodded, her hands still on my cheeks, keeping my eyes locked with hers. She had so much love and adoration in her face that if she glowed, she could have.

"I promise you Bella. I _Promise_ you. That Carlisle and I will never, ever leave you, until you don't want us any more. We will be there until you tell us to go away"

Tears fell from my eyes. I took a deep breath, fear growing around me, but I shook it off. I was stronger than this. She promised. She promised and she keeps her promises. "I'm never going to want you to go away... Mum"

Then she hugged me.

**Hooray Another chapter. Now I must go study for a Business Sac this friday, and a oral presentation... for tomorrow. Wish me luck!**

**Oh, and please review... I want to make 300! Someday!**

**Love you all for reading.**

**Bec**

**P.S. I want you guys opinions, really. Do you think i should stop giving Bella a crap life (which would make the story pretty boring) or should i continue with the bad luck? I feel bad for making her life miserable... but it makes a good story :)**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter nineteen

I wasn't allowed to leave the hospital for another three days, after my talk with Carlisle and Esme, who I had now decided to call Dad and Mum so I could conquer my fears, left for home, I was made to make my own entertainment. So I went for a walk to see if I could find Emmett, he should be here somewhere, right?

I was told, by Dad, it seemed weird to call him that, but it also seemed right. He told me that I had broken my arm, split the bone in half. I had a bad concussion and my hip bone, which was fragile because of the brake years ago, had bruised again, making the bone softer than normal. He said that I should take up my cane again. Yay!

"Excuse me, miss?" I asked the lady at the desk.

She looked up and smiled "Your Bella Swan, Dr. Cullen's daughter, yes?" She asked happily.

I nodded, proud that she knew me as his daughter.

"I heard you were in here...What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering which room my brother is in, Emmett Cullen" I asked, holding onto the pole thing that held up my medicine bags, instead of the cane and I was wrapped in Esme's thick cream dressing gown. I didn't have one so she brought me hers. It smelled of her, and Carlisle, mixed. I liked it. It was warm.

"He's in room 201, but he might be sleeping. He's been in a lot of pain, that bear sure did do a number on him"

I almost panicked and bolted for the room, but refrained and thanked her before I walked, quickly, to his door.

Once I got there I knocked, and waited a second before I pushed the door opened.

I gasped as I saw him propped up by the bed. The sheet covered his lower half while his upper half was bare but covered in bandages.

I couldn't say anything as I went closer, he was asleep and didn't know I was here yet.

"Emmett?" I asked wearily as I approached his bed. Still he didn't move, so I was certain that he was sleeping. Thankfully, I didn't know what I was supposed to say. Sorry didn't seem enough.

Suddenly, a nurse came in loudly, putting a plate onto the table and then jumped in surprise at seeing me "OH!" She gasped, clutching her chest, then she laughed "You scared me! I thought Dr. and Mrs Cullen left for the evening"

I smiled at her bubbly attitude "Yeah, I'm there daughter, Emmett is my brother" I explained.

"So your Bella, you were with him when this happened?"

I nodded, looking at my sock covered feet. I was ashamed at what I had caused for my brother. A shame that I don't think will ever go away.

"Don't worry dear, I'm sure its all fine. He's stitched up and seems to have accepted the transfusions well, just like you did. So calm down honey, your all going to be out of here soon"

"So, I'm going to wake up your brother, do you think you could help him eat? He's not supposed to move his arms much because he'll disturb the dressings" She asked.  
"Yeah, sure. But last time I woke him up he threw a clock at me."  
She laughed, a full blown laugh that made Emmett scrunch up his face, he must be waking up "Lucky there are no clocks here. Now come on Emmett, time to get up. You've got your dinner here" She said, making his bed move from lying down, to sitting up.

"Do you want me to get your food in here as well?" She asked me nicely once Emmett began to mumble something.

"Yeah, that would be great" I said gratefully.

I sat on the chair and moved it closer to his bed, making sure I wasn't in the way of getting food from the table, to his mouth.

"Emmett, its Bella" I said, wanting him to wake up so I could talk.

He opened his eyes at the sound of my voice, and he seemed to smile happily "I've been so worried about you. The last thing they said to be was that you had a bad concussion and were in a coma, or something!"  
Oh yeah, the knock to my head put me in a coma, for only a day or something, but still, it freaked everyone out.

"Yeah, I'm awake now... Are you... Are you okay?" I asked nervously.

He chuckled "Don't you worry about me, I'm strong. And I guess I should say thank you or something, you saved my life, So one word doesn't seem to cover the extent of it all"

I made a strange noise at him, "Your thankful?! What do you have to be thankful about Emmett? It was my fault for being in the forest, for getting lost and almost getting you killed! I should be apologising! I should be the one thanking you! You saved my life!"

"I'd do it again" He grinned.

I snorted at him "Why exactly were you there? Aren't you supposed to be in Seattle looking for a dorm room?"

"Yeah but I came home, I was only doing that for the weekend-ish." He explained. "Anyway, I got home and everyone is in panic mode calling your name. Then Dads on the phone and he's like why are you in a forest? So I, being awesome, grabbed the shotgun from the garage and ran to find you"

"How did you know to get the gun?" I asked, helping him eat.

"On the radio up here, they were mentioning angry bears, so I guessed with your luck, you'd probably find one"

I laughed softly "But it was too dangerous, you shouldn't have come. You could have died!"

"So could you" He said softly.

"Yeah, But I'm the idiot who went out there! I'm the idiot with the bad luck! I'm the_fucked up, mother to a two year old, who still cries at night and is scared of the dark!" _I ended in tears, using the words Alice had said to me.

"Bella, Bella Bella" Emmett said, moving to sit up more. "Honey, who said that to you? Who has ever told you that"  
He didn't realise, and he didn't mean to, but it just hurt more. I couldn't say the name. I still didn't want to fully believe it myself. So I cried harder as I choked out the name "A...A...Al...ALICE" I sobbed hysterically, Curling up in the chair.

"She did that? She said that?" He asked, sounding surprised.

I nodded, my head in my hands that were resting on my legs.

"Its not true. I don't know why she said that, but I know its not true, and I'm pretty sure she didn't mean it, honey. Listen, I've known you for a while, your like my own sister, and I love you. So please, trust me when I say this, your not messed up. You've been through some messed up shit, yes, I can't deny that, but you are not messed up. Your not fucked up. It is because of those things that you've been through that have made you so good at being a mother, at being a person. And the stress that you must have, that's what makes you have nightmares. Its not a shameful thing. Everyone has to be scared. As for the dark, I'd be shit scared if I had been through what you had been through" He said softly, looking into my eyes. I couldn't seem to look away. "So, please don't ever think badly about yourself"

I smiled at him and leant over and kissed his cheek "Love you Emmett" I whispered.

"Love you too Bells"

We ate in silence for the most part after that, a few jokes were said which made the room less tense, and once we finished, I headed back to my room, gratefully getting into bed and falling asleep, my hip hurting from standing and my head drumming from thinking. I hated pain.

….......................

I could hear someone crying, softly, so it wasn't Brandon, meaning I didn't wake up right away. I couldn't really work out if the crying was of someone beside me, or in my dream. It took me a while to figure out it was real.

I opened my eyes and turned my head towards the sound and found Alice sitting beside my bed, feet on her chair and held to her chest. Her arms and head were resting on them. A school bag on the floor proved my suspicion that she was meant to be in school.

"Alice" I whispered, "What's wrong?" My immediate concern for her welfare overtook the anger I had felt last time I saw her. If she was hurt, I would be there for her, despite all the things she said.

"Oh Bella!" She cried, flinging herself at me, rather hard.

I coughed at the impact and winced as her arms wrapped around my neck, pressing my broken arm against her and me, crushing the already crushed bone. "Alice, Stop... Pain" I struggled to say, the pressure was even hurting my hip. She was hugging me tightly!

She pulled back and apologised, letting me go and sitting back down in her previous position, except her eyes were on me now. "Bella, I don't know how to make it right... I feel so bad, I really don't understand what made me say those things to you, and I can't say I didn't mean it, because I kind of am jelous. But I know its a bad thing to be jealous of. But you see, before you came, I was the only girl, so I was spoilt. And I don't mean to upset you because I know your my real sister, but I just, don't know really how to explain it. I just want to let you know that I am really sorry for the things I said and I just can't say Sorry enough, I really don't deserve your acceptance, but if you could look deep down then maybe you could find some..."

I stared at her with humour.  
She saw my staring and misinterpreted it. "And I know you must think I am pretty lame, saying those things and now apologising. But its my fault you and Emmett almost died, it was my fault I made you so upset, and its my fault all this has happened! I feel terrible"  
"Alice"

"But I want you to realise how hard it is actually right now, for me to be saying these things, but I was hoping-"  
"Alice..."  
"That because your my sister then you might be able to find enough love..."  
"Alice, honey?"  
She peered up at me, a blush on her cheeks.  
"I have no clue as to what you just said, but I think your saying sorry, is that right?"

She nodded, tears forming again.  
"Honey, of course I forgive you. Your my sister, I lived enough years without you to realise how special you are to me, and if I hated you because of those words, then I wouldn't be a very good sister"

She smiled weakly, tears falling now.

"Why are you crying? I forgive you Alice"  
"Your too good. I wish I could be like you, your so brave and happy, despite what you've been through"

I laughed and patted the spot beside me, she climbed up on the bed and settled beside me, I pulled her closer and wrapped my arms around you. I buried my face in her short hair, breathing in her smell. "I love you Alice"  
"I love you too Bella" She said as she cried.

And because we had made up, a whole weight had seemed to lift off me. I felt light again, free. Happy once more.

…......................................

I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up Alice was gone, But Edward was here instead. He was sitting in the seat Alice was in, writing in a book. "Edward?" I asked, wondering why he was here.

His eyes met mine and he smiled "Your awake" He stated, moving closer.

I nodded wearily watching the book in his hands. "What's that?"

He blushed, actually blushed, and put it in his bag "nothing, don't worry. So, how have you been?" He asked.

"I've been good, actually fine, they wont let me go because I'm supposed to be 'under observation'. But I don't understand why Dad can't do that at home"

Edward stared for a moment, a smile playing at his lips "You called him Dad"  
I nodded, smiling myself.

"Anyway, school let out and I thought I should visit. I was going to earlier, but Carlisle said you were sleeping the first day, and then Alice disappeared and turned out to be here,s o I haven't been able to get here until now.

"Sounds hectic" I mumbled, reaching for the water.

He nodded and then we fell into a silence. It was bordering on an awkward silence, but wasn't quite there yet.

Edward and I, we have a strange relationship. I see Emmett and Jasper as brothers, but Edward, he seems different. I've never looked at him and seen him as a sibling. He's been always so kind to me and protective but I have never thought of him as a relative.

"I've been meaning to speak to you, you know about when I showed you my back, well, I haven't been able to get the courage up until now to bring it up. But your the first person besides Mum and Dad who know about it... and I just wanted to let you know that I trust you, and that if you need someone to talk to, I'm here"

"Edward, why are you doing this? Why are you offering to have the burden of my own problems?" I asked, It wasn't that I was thankful for his offer, or it wasn't even of that nervous butterfly feeling in my stomach that I had because he was close to me, or it wasn't the deep down meaning of my heart pumping fast. It was because I didn't want to like someone... not like this.

"Because..." He mumbled, clearly nervous. "Because, I just, I feel sorry for you, having to deal with all this"

I'm not sure what I was supposed to feel, thankful? Grateful? Well, if it was, I didn't... Instead I felt angry. "I don't want your pity" I snapped.

He seemed frantic, shaking his head as he tried to fix it "No, No, I don't pity you" He rubbed the back of his neck nervously "This is coming out all wrong"

I calmed down and let him gather himself.

"I admire you, your strength... I do, in no way Bella, do I pity you" He said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

I sat up and pulled my legs to my chest. "why are you bringing this up now?" I asked, wary, as if my mind was afraid of the answer.

"I don't know... I just... when I saw you collapse in that forest as I was carrying Emmett, The blood practically dripping from her head I had this sickly feeling... I had never felt that... scared before"

He had been worried about me? "Maybe it was the blood" I offered.

"I don't think so" He mumbled, shaking his head.

"What does it mean then?" I asked, looking into his green eyes.

His hand ran through his hair and he took a breath, before meeting my eyes.

"I don't know"

**Okay, sorry the chapter took so long, I've had a few SACS (test like things that count toward my enter, the end of year score for year 12's) So I had to concentrate. Which was hard, because every time I checked my emails, I had a review saying something along the lines of, update soon. So then I'd want to update, but I wouldn't be able to because I had to study! It was a vicious cycle.**

**Anyway, here's a chapter and I have the next one outlined, so it shouldn't be long :)**

**Oh, and YAY! Edward and Bella's relationship IS developing. I don't know how long until they actually get together, it could be the next chapter, or it could be in 10... I have as much clue as you do. **

**So, keep reading, please review, it'll make my study filled days happy.**

**~Bexta03**


	20. Chapter 20

**Okay, so I don't usually put one here, but I thought you might all want some greetings! I can't believe I'm up to chapter twenty, it seems like yesterday I was writing about baby Bella and Alice. I miss them, do you? Lol. And Omg, over 300 reviews, this is now my most famous story, it beating all the other review numbers, and for that, I thank each and every reviewer, except my sister, who only reviewed cause I told her she hurt my feelings by reading and then not reviewing. :P Nah, I love her. He he... *suspicious glance around room***

**Anyway, I know your all impatient for the story, as am I when I am reading one. So here you go, Chapter twenty. And time for some happy moments in our Bella's life, some moments she so desperately deserves.**

Chapter twenty

It had been about 2 weeks after Emmett had been released from hospital. I didn't have a cast anymore, only a brace and Emmett had to wear bandages over his scars. It was good to be home, with the family. And Edward and I haven't even become weird around each other, especially after the discussion. We were actually begining to get closer and closer together... and the others were going to start noticing soon.

"Guys! Family meeting!" Carlisle shouted at the bottom of the stairs. We were all positioned on Esme and Carlisle's bed watching a movie, why, because it had the biggest bed, and also a TV on the wall. Why couldn't we watch it in the games room where there was a tv and couches, because someone, an Emmett someone, wanted to lay on a bed. So all 7 of us, including Brandon who was playing at the end of the bed, were cramped together.

"Coming!" A few of us shouted back before we de-tangled ourselves and made our way downstairs.

I picked up Brandon on the way, settling him on my hip, despite him almost being too big to carry. He was 3 now, and was more like a child instead of a toddler. It made me sad, to think that he'd be going to Kinder soon.

"Okay guys" Carlisle said, immediately hushing everyone sitting around the dinning room table, like a conference, except Emmett was noisily eating a apple and Alice was checking her phone under the table. "Your mother and I have decided that everyone needs to get away-"  
Everyone's head snapped up, and almost everyone's fear was spoken. "You can't send us away" Alice said.  
"No! You said you wouldn't" Emmett cried, almost throwing his apple.

Other outbursts occurred but I didn't bother, because from the amused expression of our parents, it was obvious that was not what they were talking about.

"Okay, now, guys, kiddies? Come on" Carlisle said, trying to win back the attention. "Guys?! Come on! GUYS! GUYS! Shut up!" He said shut up softer than 'guys' but everyone immediately turned to him when he said it.

"What?" Edward asked, his mouth, like everyone's, open in surprise.

Brandon also quieted "Grandpa! Bad word!" He shouted through the silence.

"Okay, so now that you've silenced, what I was saying wasn't to get rid of you, I would never do that, your stuck with us for life" He said, smiling at Esme and taking her hand. They were so cute. "Esme and I have decided to let this holidays become our family vacation. Where all going to go to Esme's Island"  
Edward said, "Huh?"

"What?" Came from Rose  
"Esme has an Island?" Was me  
"Lucky girl" Jasper mumbled

"CAT!" was Brandon, smiling intently at Alice.

She laughed and replied to him by yelling "DOG"

They had begun that game a few weeks ago, I called it opposites. Sort of.

"Yes. I have an Island. My father gave it to me for my 18th birthday."  
We all nodded, knowing how rich Esme's father actually is.

"So we've decided to go there for the two weeks you kids are on holidays. Any objections?" Carlisle asked.

No one objected, but we all rather looked excited.

"And Esme and I, we've decided to renew our vows. Because our family finally feels complete, we want to show that we still are as committed as we are the first time and we want to share that commitment with you."

The girls awwed "That sounds so romantic" Alice hushed.

Esme beamed at her "We want to do the ceremony at my Island, with just us as a family"

We all nodded eagerly, happy for them "Can we help organise it?" Rose asked.

"I would love for you girls to help me" Esme said.

Then, I had a awesome idea "Why don't you let us organise it..." I offered, a grin on my face. "We can put it together, and that way you both can look forward to a surprise"

She thought about it for a moment, before turning to Carlisle. "What do you think?"

He hummed "I think it sounds wonderful"

"Me to"

And then it was decided. Rose, Alice and I were going to plan the ceremony for the renewing of Carlisle and Esme's vows. We had a lot of work to do.

…......................................

"So, colour theme, blue and silver?" Rose suggested, flipping through one of twenty wedding magazines that were spread out on our floor. It was the last week of school, so everyone was beginning to pack, us well we were planning for Esme and Carlisle to renew there vows, which was going to be happening on the last day of the holiday,s so we had three weeks, but we still needed to get started.

"I like blue and silver" I said, pointing to a picture that had that as a theme. "that looks really good"

Alice mumbled her agreement as she flipped through on of her own. "So do we need a minister person-a-bob? Or do they just say it to one another?"

"Well, they can, but I think they want it just us, so its a family thing, I think.... so wouldn't it be weird if one was there?" Rose said, scratching her head. "What do you think Bella?"  
"Hmm, depends are we going to have it just us, or are we going to invite there parents? Siblings? I mean, we don't really see Carlisle and Esme's parents or relatives..."

Rose smiled evilly "Then we need to work out if they would want to be invited, and if Carlisle and Esme want to invite them... but I think some person should be present, it would make it feel more official."  
I nodded, as did Alice. "Do we have a budget?" I asked, nervously.

Rose shook her head "I asked Esme and Carlisle that, they said to go nuts, Because it was something they wanted and weren't going to limit themselves. I said good on them, that they deserved it"

….........................

"Okay class, have a good holiday and I expect the holiday homework in on the first class" My teacher said over the clatter as students exited the classroom in a rush. The final bell had gone, on the final day, meaning school was out, for a whole two weeks. Everyone was excited. Me especially, because tonight, we were leaving for the airport, to go to Esme's Island!

I grabbed all my books from my locker and made my way to my car, Edwards had broken down yesterday, much to his horror and our amusement.

I found Alice jumping beside it shouting "hurry!" over and over. Rose and Jasper beside her laughing. Edward was beside them, shaking his head.

I got in and slowly got out my keys as everyone got in. Then I slowly put them in the ignition and slowly turned it on. Alice was about to burst.

I slowly pulled out of the spot and then continued out of the parking spot at 5km per hour. She was really mad now. I continued down he road at only 20km per hour and that was when she snapped "Why are you going so slow!!?? Come on! Please!" She begged.

"Alright! Alright!" I gave up and sped off to our pack. We had about 5 hours before our 9 o'clock flight, so 3 hours before we had to leave and make it in time for check in at the airport.

I pulled into the garage, usually I just parked out the front, but because we were going away, I didn't want anything to happen to my car. As I stopped the car, everyone piled out and went to there rooms, to either finish packing, or in Edward and Jasper's case, start packing.

I climbed out after everyone and went inside looking for my baby boy. He must be here somewhere.

"Brandon?!" I called out, wanting to see him, I had missed him.

I heard someone call my name from upstairs, so I went to search. There, in Esme and Carlisle's room, was Brandon sitting in the middle of the bed, Esme was lying beside him, asleep and Carlisle was packing. "Hey Bella" Carlisle said, poking his head out of there closet.

I smiled and sat down on the other side of Brandon, Esme lifted her hand and patted my leg in hello, I guess she wasn't sleeping.

Brandon crawled over to me and hugged me tightly "Mama, where gonna go on aeroplane!" He said, loudly. "And where going to go to Grandma's island and where going to fly there!"

I laughed and kissed him noisly, he yelled. This earned a groan from Esme.

"What's wrong Mum?" I asked, patting her head.

"Headache" She mumbled.

Carlisle laughed from inside the cupboard "He's been particularly loud today"

"You've been loud?" I asked, tickling him. "You, I don't believe it!"

He screamed and jump off the bed, running down the hall. "Help!"

I chased him out of there room and up the stairs, going slower so he would win, laughing to myself I ran after him into my room, where Rose was lying on the floor. "What's up Chickie-poo" I asked, flopping down next to her.

"I've never realised, but you have fairy lights on the wall" She stated, pointing to above the TV where fairy lights hung from hooks.

"Uh... Yeah, Had them for a while now" I laughed, getting up and turning off the top light and putting them on.

"Thats so cool" Rose mumbled.

"What have you been smoking?" I asked, sitting down again, blocking some punches from a laughing Brandon. "Don't hit me!" I shouted, laughing though.

"Don't yell!" He shouted back, throwing himself at me and trying to wrestle.

"No! Go find one of the boys for that!" I whined.

He stopped, thought about it, and then ran off screaming "JASPER!"

I let him go and then faced Rose "You packed?" I asked.

She nodded, still staring at the lights. "Awesome, come help me order some flowers!"

She smiled and then we spent the next hour or so finding flowers that would suit Esme and Carlisle as they renewed there vows.

"Guys! Come and get your suitcases into the cars now!" We heard Carlisle call from the bottom floor, telling us basically that we had to leave soon.

Rose and I dragged our suitcases down, got an okay nod from Carlisle and then we loaded them into the boot.

Alice however, dragged down two suitcases and was stopped by him. "Ali, honey, too much stuff, only one suitcase, remember what we discussed?" He told her.

She pouted and won him over, telling her that the money it would cost to bring it all was coming out of her pocket money. But considering we had basically a very large allowance, it didn't really matter... He just didn't like to see her unhappy.

We all piled into the airport, Jasper and Emmett going off somewhere to the left, Alice bouncing around Edward and me trying to contain Brandon, who was crying because we forgot one of his toys. Carlisle was holding the tickets away from his face so he could read them, I think he might need glasses and Esme was looking frazzled.

Once we all made it to the gate, we piled onto the aeroplane when our numbers were called. Seriously, where like lambs, all follow one another and we could be lead into the unknown, or, like a sheep, a meat factory... hmm..

Once we were all seated I realised how long this flight was, and how just ungrateful I was becoming that I was sitting beside Brandon and Emmett, the worst people to put together. Of course, its not my babies fault, no its Emmett's.

Carlisle, Esme and Alice were in the row in front of us and Edward, Jasper and Rose were behind us. Meaning, these two next to me, could get into a lot of trouble, real quickly.

It was going to be a very long flight.

**Okay, I'm sorry its short and very... quick? But I wanted to get one out before I had a major break down. I'm almost finished these lots of SACS, so it wont be another week or so before more come, thankfully. Tomorrow is the last one, Biology... ew... and I have yet to study. So instead of cramming, what do I do? Come on fan fiction! :P I have my priorities right, definitely.**

**Anyway, I felt bad and I was stressed out and still am, but I figured, why not finish writing this one because it might calm me down, which it has, a little, but it will be undone soon when I figure out that I still have the same amount of study that I did before I did this.  
If I'm making no sense what-so-ever, then forgive me, because I really am beginning to get over stressed so I apologise in advance for any weirdo stuff I may write about. Hooray! You have a crazy Becky here!**

**:P I'm sane.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review!**

**P.s thanks to the person who told me that I had spelt Vows wrong. Lol, I have been particularly distracted these days. :)**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty one

_9hours left of flying_

"75 bottles of beer on the wall. 75 bottles of beer. You take one down, pass it around, 74 bottles of beer on the wall" Emmett and Brandon sung. They had started at 99 bottles of beer. It was driving me, and the other passengers crazy.

"74 bottles...."  
"Emmett. Brandon. You do realise, that if you do not stop singing, that these people are going to loose it and probably throw you out the emergency exist."  
Emmett stopped singing and thought a moment "Yeah, but then they would be killing themselves, because all that wind comes and sucks you out of the aeroplane"  
"that may happen, but I'm sure they are willing to take the risk" I said, "So, myself personally, will do it if you do not shut up. Both of you"

They both stopped singing after that. Thankfully.

_8 hours left of flying_

"Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mother, Mother, Mother, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy"  
I turned "WHAT?"

"Hi" he giggled and then turned back to the tv that was on the head rest in front of him.

I saw Emmett laughing beside him.

"Did you know that that's exactly what Stewie does from family guy?" I asked Emmett.

He nodded.

"So why would my 3 year old boy know something from a tv show such as Family Guy?" I asked, angry.

"He might have watched it... with me..."  
"Emmett, you know I don't like him watching those shows"

Emmett sighed "I'm Sorry"  
"Good"  
There was a few moments of silence before.

"Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mum, Mum,.................."  
Oh please help me!

_7 hours left of flying_

"Mummy, will you sing me my song" Brandon asked as he curled up on my lap, his feet across Emmett, who was sleeping.

I brushed his hair away from his forehead and nodded, smiling at him,

_Hush, little baby, don't say a word,  
Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. _

If that mockingbird won't sing,  
Mama's going to buy you a diamond ring.

If that diamond ring turns brass,  
Mama's going to buy you a looking glass.

If that looking glass gets broke,  
Mama's going to buy you a billy goat.

If that billy goat won't pull,  
Mama's going to buy you a cart and bull.

If that cart and bull turn over,  
Mama's going to buy you a dog named Rover.

If that dog named Rover won't bark,  
Mama's going to buy you a horse and cart.

If that horse and cart fall down,  
You'll still be the sweetest little boy in town.

So hush little baby, don't be scared,

_Mama's always going to be right here"_

He was asleep when I finished and Alice peered over her seat, smiling at me. "I love that song" She whispered.

I nodded "Mum used to sing it to us, and then at the orphanage, I sung it to you, every night"  
She nodded "And when I moved in with mum and Dad, they sung it to me too"

I stared at her, "Really? I thought because you forgot, they didn't..."  
Carlisle turned around too, "Bella, it was one thing we knew was part of her past, and it was the only thing that would calm her when she slept"

I smiled at Carlisle and then Esme who had also poked her head around. "Thank you" I whispered, before looking down at Brandon.

_6 hours left of flying_

Sleeping on a plane is so hard

_5 hours left of flying_

"Emmett, Shut up!" I hissed, hitting his head.

He woke up, startled. "What?"  
"Your sleep talking, loudly. People are getting annoyed" I whispered, placing my hand over Brandon's ear so he wouldn't wake up.

Emmett laughed and apologised before going back to sleep and talking again.

_4 hours left of flying_

"Mummy, I'm tired still, but the sun is up" Brandon complained, looking out the window, which caused the brightness to flash onto Emmett's face, waking him up instantly.

Damn stupid time zones!

I pulled him back against me and hummed the lullaby to him, hoping for at least one more hour of sleep.

_3 hours left of flying_

"How much longer?" I heard Alice ask from the row in front of me. I could hear talking from the back, letting me know everyone was indeed, awake.

"3 more hours Alice, breakfast should be coming around soon... I think" Carlisle answered.

"Mummy, toilet" Brandon said, alerting me that I too, needed to go.

I grabbed his hand and lead him towards the small cubical and let him go inside before I followed. "Its really small in here" He commented as he did his stuff.

We both finished and then went back to our seats, where Emmett began to tell us of the dream he had.

_2 hours left of flying_

I moved to the row behind me, in between Rose and Jasper, while Edward went to sit with Emmett and Brandon swapped with Alice. We played musical chairs.

Here, I talked to Jasper about books, it seemed he and I had that in common. We discussed the pro's and cons of shake spear while Rose huffed in boredom and read a magazine.

_1 hour left of flying_

Yes! Yes! Yes! I could not wait to be off the plane.

Esme seemed to notice my mood change and smiled sympathetically "You do realise we have an hour through customs most likely, then another half an hour to reach the docks then another hour and a half on the boat..."  
I groaned and placed my head in my hands, "I hate travelling" I muttered. Brandon patted my head.

_Plane landing_

Where getting off the plane! Finally!  
"Thank you for flying with us, we hope you had an enjoyable flight and hope to see you again soon" The flight attendant said over the speaker as we all went to get the bags and collect things.

We walked slowly through customs and I was behind everyone, in front of this lady who was in a clear hurry and smelt badly. Had she ever heard of something called, personal space?

She was basically pressed up against me and it was making me feel very... claustrophobic.

_Sitting in the corner of the cupboard. The walls were coming closer. I could hear laughing outside, evil laughing. "Mrs Tailor, please let me out!" I begged, hugging my 7 year old form against myself. "Please!"_

I wrapped my arms around my self and moved closer to Carlisle, who was standing in front of me. But she moved even closer.

Brandon was ahead with Esme or Alice or Jasper... or someone. I didn't have to worry too much, someone at least had him.

The line moved forward and because I was slow moving closer, the lady behind me moved even closer. Shit. Shit. Shit.

It felt as if there was a weight on top of me, moving closer and heavier against me.

"_Please stop" I begged him, as he breathed heavily above me, positioning himself._

"_You love it Bella, don't argue" James seethed as he entered me, his weight hurting my chest, tears falling from my face._

"Excuse me, the lines moving" Her nasally voice sounded behind me.  
I had had enough, I spun around and almost shouted "You do realise, no matter how close you get to me it will not change your position in line. It will not make you closer to getting out and it will not help you from getting your head ripped off. I have lived through so much shit that I don't need your body pressed up against mine inhabiting my space and reminding me of some events. Now, back the fuck off and just take a step back before I loose my mind and start screaming from claustrophobia!"

I turned back around and heard her whisper "to late"

I almost slapped her but Carlisle grabbed my arms and pulled me in front of him, so he was now between me and the lady. "Bella, honey, are you okay?" Esme asked, touching my cheek.

I shook my head, keeping my arms firmly against my chest, trying to stop the shaking.

"I just need to get out of the line" I muttered, beginning it to go quicker.

We finally got out of the line and basically bolted for a bigger space, breathing heavily due to the fact I had almost been suffocating.

We all got our bags without mishap, Emmett recounting the time they went to Italy and his bag going to Brussels instead.

"Okay guys, so onto the boat!" Carlisle said, pointing toward the pier, which we all headed toward immediately.

"Boat. Boat. Boat. Boat" Brandon cheered from his spot on Emmett's shoulders.

I laughed as I struggled under my and Brandon's suitcases, earning pity from Edward, who took one from me. "Thank you" I said breathlessly as he stored them in the storage area of the boat, taking my next one and then helping me on-board.

Brandon still laughed half way into the ride where as myself and Alice began to get sea sick. Carlisle laughed as us, and saying how strange it was that the only two who are actually sisters here are the ones who are the most likely to throw up.

I grumbled something before gasping for air as we went over a wave. "When will it be over?" I begged.

"Half an hour sweety" Esme said patting my back.

"Swan Blood" Emmett muttered "Weaklings. Least Brandon is strong"

I grimaced, knowing instantly that that must be a part of his other side that makes him not sea sick.

"Where here" Carlisle announced finally, pulling up to a dock that was on a beach.

Esme pointed to the right and we all looked that way, instantly gasping in surprise. There on the beach was two houses, identical and close together. They weren't big, but they were big. Big enough for us.

"Okay, as we said, you kids in one and us in the other. If you need us, theirs a phone in there and the other houses number is on the speed-dial number 1. Also, the cupboards and fridge should be stocked. Your mother and I decided you all can rest for today, but I suggest you don't sleep until tonight, if you do, the jet lag might be worse. So, watch movies, play games or go swimming, do whatever, but annoy us later" Carlisle said and then took Esme's hand. "We'll see you tomorrow bright and early"

We watched them go into the house on the left as we all stared at them. They had just basically told us to do whatever we wanted... in a house all by ourselves. With a stocked fridge and cupboard. An ocean outside our back door. And they were going to leave us unsupervised. Oh help us now. Please.

"This is going to be so good!" Emmett said, holding his fist out, which Edward and then Jasper knocked. And then too my amusement, so did Brandon.

We all trudged our way to the house and all picked a room, surprisingly without arguing. I got a room which had a connecting bathroom that was shared by me and Brandon, the bathroom having two doors. I liked it, it made easy access for him to reach me and then for me to reach him.

The moment we had all walked in we were amazed. It was so open, light and huge! There were big windows everywhere opening to the views and the colour setting was off white. It was truly, beautiful.

"Bella! Get changed into your bathers, where going swimming!" Emmett yelled from downstairs as I was beginning to unpack my clothes.

Brandon came running in "Mummy! Swimming! Swimming!" he chanted, running around while he stripped.

"Okay Okay" I said, giving and pulled his shirt off and putting on his little board shorts. I put on an old shirt on him so he wouldn't get burnt and then shooed him downstairs so I could get changed without the disruption.

I pulled on my brown two piece, Rose had gotten it for me as she said it looked nice with my hair and eyes. But personally, it showed too much. Too much of my body and too much of my scars. So, I threw on a long button up top which I stole from Carlisle and button it half way up before putting on my thongs (flip flops) and tying my hair into a pony tail.  
On the way out I grabbed my sunny's and two towels for me and Brandon.

"Bella, finally" Jasper said, running for me "please save me from the sunscreen monster"

I turned and found Alice chasing him with the bottle of sunscreen. "But Jasper! You'll burn!" She said panicked.

I smiled before holding up my hands "I play no part in this"

I grabbed an apple off the bowl in the counter and made my way out to the seats on the beach where Edward, Emmett and Rose were. Emmett and Edward had begun a hole digging competition, only using Brandon's small spades from his sand castle building kit thing he got at the airport because he was upset he didn't think to bring one. Esme didn't like him crying so she went and bought one.

"Where's Brandon?" I asked, looking around.

Emmett shrugged and Edward muttered a I don't know.

I turned to Rose who held her hands up in a 'I don't know' kind of way.

I pushed the panic down and went to find him, looking inside where Alice and Jasper were still chasing each other. "You two seen Brandon" I asked above the squeals from Alice.

They both paused, Alice holding the bottle above his head as he had fallen over. "No" they said before resuming there game.

So I looked throughout the whole house, finding where everything was in the process, before heading outside to look.

"Brandon!" I called, worried now. "Brandon where are you?" I shouted.

I did a quick look before heading into the off bounds house which I really hope contained nothing m rated. Next door. "Brandon?" I whispered, slipping through the glass sliding door.

I could hear laughing upstairs so I did a quick search for him downstairs before swearing and tiptoeing upstairs, praying they were in there room and that the door was closed.

I immediately thanked everyone when I saw Brandon at the nearest door. "Brandon!" I hissed.

He spun and smiled at me. "Hi Mummy, I want Grandma's cookies" He said, opening the door.

I shrieked and jumped forward, grabbing him but in the process knocking the door open more.

I fell on my butt and became face to face with my foster parents. Shocked expressions.

Esme was covered in a blanket, blushing red while Carlisle still had his boxers on. Thankfully.

"I. Brandon. He. I. Sorry!" I gasped slamming the door and running out of the house.

"Don't you ever walk away like that again!" I scolded, feeling as if I would die of embarrassment any second.

"Sorry Mama" He said, looking at the ground.

"It's fine' I said, "Go play"

He ran off to help Edward dig his hole as I sat down next to Rose, sighing dramatically and rubbing my eyes.  
"What did you see?" She asked.

I shuddered "Almost everything"

This was going to be an awesome holiday.

**Sorry for the long wait. I've been really busy. And am going to be busy from now on. But hopefully, I'll still update at least this story. **

**I have my birthday comming up, 3rd of june! and i will be turning 18! which here, means you can get your license and drink and become a legal adult, so its like the 21st in america, i assume. So im excited and am in the middle of planning a big family/friends party. So yeah! Lots a things to do!**

**And school is still there, constantly giving me homework, SACs and results which either make me cringe or cry. Depending on what i get. And not to mention my parents breathing donw my neck for me to do well. **

**And to top that off, exams are in like, 3 weeks, about 5 days after my birthday. So i gotta start studying soon! Horay**

**But overall, im still going to be updating, but spontaneous and at random times, so whenever i get a chapter done, ill update straight away.**

**So please still review, it will make me more motivated and if you have any questions, then dont hesitate to ask and ill get back to you through a pm most likely.**

**Love u all for reading and love u more if u review.**

**im glad ur liking the story, well, hopefully u are.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Sorry its so late. And the next one will be late as well. Birthday next week and then exams the week after. Joy!**

**So you will most likely not hear from me for a while. I apologise. I shall write, but it will be slowly, like this one.**

**So here you go, some fun in the sun for the family!**

Chapter twenty two

"Edward Cullen do not bury my son" I warned him as I peaked at the playing boys on the sand. Emmett and Edward had given up on digging and decided to bury Brandon, the hole went up to his shoulders.

Jasper and Alice could be seen a bit further down, throwing a football, Alice laughing as she misses, Jasper being patient as ever.

"I wont Bella and even if I do, I'll dig him out" Edward said, smiling at me.

Emmett chuckled "yeah, eventually"

I threw the magazine that I had been reading at them and got up to play with Jasper and Alice. "Hey guys" I announced, coming closer.  
Jasper grinned and chucked the ball at me "Bella, think fast!" He shouted.  
I didn't think fast, as he told me to, and instead the ball hit my head and rolled away.

Jasper seemed very worried "Bella, I, Didn't, it, you, I am so sorry" He managed to say as Alice laughed and collected the ball, which had rolled into the water.

I shook my head before running after him, laughing with him as Alice joined in the chase. "You are so going down brother" I shouted.  
After we lost our breath we all decided to go swimming. Well, they did, I was still uncertain about taking off the top I was wearing. So many small scars. So many haunting memories.

Edward, Emmett and Jasper all rushed into the water, splashing and yelling. Brandon following once he looked at me for the okay.  
"Emmett" I called, making him turn and see Brandon running after them.

Emmett swooped down and perched him on his shoulders, allowing him to go with them as they went further into deeper water where he wouldn't be able to stand.

Rose shrugged and pulled off her own top and followed the boys, more gracefully, into the water, wearing a black two piece.

Alice ran after her in her bathers, giggling as her running splashed Rose.

Great, now I was the only one left. So now they'd all be watching. Shit I didn't think this through.

I quickly pulled the top off and hurried into the water, avoiding there eyes. It was freezing, but it felt good against the hot weather. I managed to reach the boys, where the water went up to my stomach, and I sank down in a crouch, so they wouldn't be able to see my chest.

I peered up at my family and saw them all staring at me, but immediately looked away once they saw me look at them.

"Its okay, you can ask" I said half angry, half embarrassed.

"What from?" Said Rose, who was standing next to me, sympathy over her face.

I sighed "Numerous things, mostly my father"  
Alice's ears pricked up and she gasped "How come I don't have any like that?" She asked quietly.

I shuddered at the memories "Mum and me, we used to protect you." I stated, rubbing my arm. "Can we change the subject?" I asked.

They all nodded and looked around awkwardly. And then, bless him, Edward decided to jump onto Jasper, dunking him under water. He probably would have jumped Emmett, but he had my boy. This action began the water war, Brandon squealing as Emmett held him high above his head, protecting him.  
After about 10minutes, everyone had decided to get the screaming baby from Emmett and make him at least a little wet. This was, however against my wishes. "Don't guys, leave my baby alone!" I shouted, trying to reach him. Emmett, on my side, was still holding him up.

"Brandon" Alice sneered "Come to me"  
Brandon laughed and held tighter to Emmett. "No! I don't wanna get wet!" he cried, laughing.

"Here Bella, catch him!" He shouted.

And to my horror, he threw him toward me. Brandon, laughing hysterically as he flew through the air, toward me, toward my outstretched hands which were frantically trying to position themselves to catch my flying son. And then, he reached me, my hands, grasping around him in sheer desperation, missed and after a rather large splash, he landed in the water. Oh dear.

I automatically dunked myself under water and let my hands wrap around him, bringing him up and into air, where he choked and coughed out the unexpected drink. After he blinked a few times, looking at me and then back to Emmett, he burst out laughing. "Mummy missed me" He said through his laughing.

And then, after they all realised he was okay, they all began laughing as well. So soon, I was as well, because I couldn't help it. Laughing was contagious.

…...

"Brandon, its 9 o'clock, please, please just stay in bed" I pleaded with my son after he came down the stairs into the room where we had all gone to watch a movie, for the 12th time.  
"But Mummy, your being too loud" He said, yawning.

I reached over and slapped Emmett, knowing all too well that it was his fault.

"Sorry" Emmett mumbled as I got up and picked Brandon up.

I took him back into his room and laid him on the giant double bed that was there, the white comforters looked boring, so I had put his own 'blankey' over them, to make it look more friendly. I placed him in it and covered him up snugly, kissing his head. "please baby, just sleep" I said kindly before laying down next to him and slowly moving his hair out of his eyes. His eyes drooped so I knew he actually was tired. I hummed Hush Little Baby two times and then was relieved to find him sleeping soundly. I pried my hand out of his and quietly took the monitor, which I had brought because the house was so big. I hadn't really used it for a long time, considering he slept through the nights now. After I shut the door to his room and then my door as well so no noise would travel through my room into his by the bathroom and the adjoining door, I made my way back to my spot on the couch.

"Your lucky he went to bed mister" I muttered to Emmett as I passed him, sitting down next to Alice and Edward, cuddling up with Alice as we all spread out across the large L shaped couch to watch _2012_ It was a good movie, one that we would all enjoy.

It finished at about midnight, having to stop a few times for bathroom breaks and snack refills, and we all decided to head to bed, after having to fight off sleep myself.

Alice was curled against my side, sleepy quietly, so I got Emmett to carry her into her own room, which I went in to change her and put her to bed. I had to wake her for this, but I ended up changing her as she mumbled sleepily, lifting limbs when I told her to. I kissed her goodnight before checking on Brandon, who was still sound asleep.

As I passed the other doors on my way to my own room, Emmett called out to me "Tuck me in too" he complained.

I laughed and went into his room, kissing his forehead and pulling the blankets up, "Goodnight Emmy" I said, smiling as I closed his door.  
"Anyone else?" I called out quietly.

Rose laughed and called goodnight from her room, Jasper said he was fine and Edward appeared beside me, smiling "Your a great mother" He whispered in my ear before quickly kissing my cheek. "Goodnight Bella" He said swiftly before disappearing to his room, leaving me stunned.

After shaking myself out of my surprise I made my own way to bed, pulling off my shirt and climbing under the blankets, leaving me in my singlet and shorts, sighing happily, I fell asleep quickly as I thought of my brothers and sisters, my friends and family. I love them so much.

…...

"Mummy! No! Mummy! Please Help Me!" I heard Brandon yelling from the other side of the wall. My heart beat sped at the sound of his pleas but slowed down when I realised he was laughing.

I got up and pulled on a top to cover my singlet and went into the bathroom and then into his room, where I found Rose and Alice tickling him senseless.

"Mummy! Nooooo stop Ali!" He cried as she began tickling his feet.

I was laughing by the time the girls realised I was there, and they all laughed too, smiling as I pulled out the camera and snapped a photo. "Alright guys, come down, we'll have pancakes" I announced, watching Alice and Brandon cheer and rush down and the Rose walked beside me. Sometimes I forgot that Alice was still only, a little girl, 13, yes, but still just a teenager.

I cooked us all a feast of pancakes, enough to feed all of us as well as Carlisle and Esme, whom I hoped, had not died over there.

We all sat and began to eat, unceremoniously, and without waiting for Jasper or Edward, Emmett had come down the moment he smelt food. Once they came down, they joined us. About 10minutes into our breakfast the door slid open and in came Esme and Carlisle.

Carlisle's eyes seemed to brighten at the amount of food and he sat down beside me and Alice and grabbed a plate. Esme chuckled and sat down as well.  
"Good morning kids" Carlisle mumbled through his full mouth.

There was a chorus of Good mornings to both of them as we all joked and laughed. I however, avoided there eyes.  
I wasn't going to bring it up, but then Emmett opened his big damn mouth.

"So Mum, Dad, how much did Bella see?" He asked, laughing as he watched my own as well as Esme's face redden.

"Emmett!" I shouted, throwing a strip of bacon at him.

He caught it and ate it, smiling nicely at me.

"I am sorry about that, Brandon walked off and I was just trying to find him. He was outside your door and I tried to stop him but he opened it and then I fell into it and well yeah..." I explained.

"I wanted cookies!" Brandon stated

Esme laughed and shook her head "Forget about it, these kiddies have all done it at least once. Emmett didn't even realise what we were doing"

This time, It was my turn to laugh at Emmett.

"Alright guys" Carlisle said after we all had done the dishes and cleaned up, "Where all going to go hiking!"

There was a collective groan from the girls and a cheer from the boys. Brandon was confused at my reaction, so he just smiled.

Alice however, surprised me and started bouncing. "Come on, come on, come on! Lets go pick out our hiking clothes!" She said, grabbing Brandon then my hand. "Lets GO!"

I laughed at her enthusiasm and followed her up the stairs.

…...

We were walking through the forest at a steady slope upwards. It wasn't steep, but it had some hard parts.. well, for certain people who weren't fit... like me.  
"Why don't we sing a song?" Emmett suggested as he ploughed on ahead, Brandon on his shoulders.

"NO" Rose, myself, Alice and Edward said at once.

We stayed in silence, well, except for Emmett, who kept singing random songs. And after about an hour of walking, we all stopped on fallen logs and rocks to eat some lunch.  
Carlisle shrugged off the heavy bag that I had just realised he had been carrying and handed out sandwiches. Ahh the trusty parents, I didn't even think of food.

"So, Bella, don't attract any bears!" Emmett joked "I might not be there to protect you" He stated, thumping his chest.

I shuddered at the mention of bears, now my least favourite animal, and then scowled at Emmett "it isn't a joking matter. You could have been killed for your stupidity"  
He feigned hurt "My Stupidity? Excuse me ma'am, but it was your fault we were there" He countered, coming closer so we could continue or argument.

I had just taken a bite of my roll, so I covered my mouth "Your the idiot who came to get me"

He shrugged "But that means I'm an awesome, life-saving, idiot whom is the best-est brother in the world"  
I smiled and hugged his side "I suppose"

After lunch, and more complaining from myself and the girls, excluding Esme who thought this was a 'grand fun time' her words, not mine, and we were off for another portion of walking.

After a good hour and a half of walking, and about 6 breaks, we reached where we were going. Some place on the mountain.

"So, what are we doing here?" I asked, as everyone sat down and took off there back packs.

"Well, as you can see, we came for the view" Carlisle said, gesturing in front of him.

So with that said, we all heaved ourselves off the floor and then took a good look around us. We were on a hill, well, sort of cliff. And below us was the mountain and then a bit further away was our houses. We hadn't walked far at all. But the view, was amazing and I quickly took a few snapshots.

"How come it took us so long to get here if our houses are there" Edward pointed out.

Carlisle laughed "I thought you kids needed exercise"

We all groaned.  
"But don't worry. I'm gonna make it up to you know, in about 2 minutes, are car is coming for myself, Esme, Brandon and anyone else. And the rest of you, well, you get to jump"

We all stared at him, smiles broke out on Emmett's face. "What?" He asked.

"Cliff jumping, I heard they do it in La Push. And well, I knew you, Emmett, were thinking of doing it anyway, so I figure, why not do it now when I can be at the bottom to help if anything goes wrong" Carlisle explained. "But I believe I would rather you not do it"

"No chance in hell old man, I'm jumping" Emmett said, immediately taking his shirt off.

"Just wait" Esme said, "Wait until you see us on the beach"

Just then a dirty Jeep rolled up, a Mexican man jumped out. "You hire me for ride to beach?" he asked with a thick accent.

Carlisle smiled and nodded.

"Alright, who's coming and who's staying?" Carlisle asked.

Emmett immediately said "staying"

Jasper shrugged and begun to take off his shoes.

Rose almost ran to the car.

Alice took a peek at the cliff before walking over to Esme.

Edward shivered but took his shoes off, obviously not wanting to chicken out.  
Then, they all looked at me.

I looked at the cliff, I suppose, its not THAT high, a few metres?

I took a step toward Esme, whom was smiling kindly at me, but the voice in my head made me stop.

"_Daddy, can I jump from the big one?" I asked my father, whom was surprisingly sober, looking down at me pointing at the cliff._

_We were in La Push, and I saw some men jumping off the cliff. It looked like lots of fun._

_He stiffened "No you fucking can't" He said angrily, grabbing my hand with pain._

_I sniffed back tears "Why not" I whispered, knowing I was going to hurt because I talked back.  
He knelt down "Because I fucking say so, and if I fucking say you can't jump, then you fucking __**never**__ will jump"_

I frowned and sat down, pulling off my own runners.

Everyone frowned surprisingly "Bella, you don't have to"

I nodded "Yes I do" I said angrily, giving my shoes and socks to Esme and then pulling off my shirt, leaving me in my singlet and shorts.

Esme didn't say anything, but smiled sadly before hoping into the car, her hands full of clothes and shoes. Alice and Rose said goodbye as they climbed in, Brandon safe in Rose's arms. Carlisle told us to be sensible and for us to wait until he waved from below.

Then they were gone.

The boys began to talk but I sat down, my legs wobbly and my hands shaking. What had I gotten myself into?

Oh right, I'm a stubborn idiot who is determined to win back her right to make decisions. "So Bella, why did you decide to jump?" Jasper asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.  
I smiled "Something I just want to do"

I shivered and wrapped my arms around me. Edward saw me and came over, putting his arm around me as well. "You okay?" He asked, rubbing my arm with his hand.  
I smiled and nodded.

We waited in silence and when we heard Emmett cheer, we knew it had begun.

I stood as Edward did and walked to the edge of the cliff and looked down. Carlisle was there, with the rest of them, waving.

We all waved back.

He held up what looked like one finger.

"What does he want?" Emmett asked.

Jasper shrugged.  
"He means one at a time" Edward muttered, knocking Emmett on the head.

"Alright, I'm first!" Emmett said and took steps back.  
We all got out of the way and before any of us could think, he launched himself off and into the water.

There was about 5 seconds where he dropped, before I heard the splash. I counted. Shivering, I looked down and found Emmett's head bobbing up and down, I could hear his laughing as he began to swim to shore.  
Jasper went next, doing a more elegant dive rather than Emmett and soon he too was swimming to Carlisle and Esme, where they had towels ready.

Edward turned to me "Do you want to go first?" He asked.

I shook my head, wanting to have a few more moments on the ground. He smiled before making sure I didn't want to just walk down.

"No... I want to jump" I lied, determined to beat my fathers voice in my head.

_Because I fucking say so, and if I fucking say you can't jump, then you fucking __**never**__ will jump_

He smiled again, leaning down. "You can do it" He whispered, before surprising me completely by pressing his lips against mine.

My arms dropped from my sides, and I opened my mouth to kiss him back. He smiled against my lips before pulling away and then kissing me once more, on my forehead. "See you at the bottom...I'm waiting" He said quickly before taking a run and then jumping.

I didn't see him hit the water, I heard it though. I didn't watch as he got to shore because I was too stunned. Edward just kissed me. Kissed _Me_. The broken, hurt, disturbed girl. Had finally been kissed, with permission... I felt like I was floating.

I could briefly hear yelling and went to the edge and saw them all waving at me. I waved back and gave them a shaky thumbs up before taking a few steps back.

"I can do this" I said out loud.

My mind chanted those words as I prepared myself.

I can do this

I can do this

I can do this

I can do this

I can do this

I can do this

I can do this

I wasn't able to question my ability because my mind seemed to make up its own decision. The wrong one. And planted my feet firmly one the ground. "Come on" I whispered.

My fathers voice made me jump.

_Because I fucking say so, and if I fucking say you can't jump, then you fucking __**never**__ will jump_

_...then you fucking __**never**__ will jump_

_...you fucking __**never**__ will jump_

_...you fucking __**never**__ will jump_

_...you fucking __**never**__ will jump_

Then another voice went over my fathers angry yell.

_see you at the bottom...I'm waiting_

Edward, he was waiting. And I, I was keeping him waiting.

My mind changed and soon, with my own cheering, my feet moved to the edge, my toes off the cliff. I took a deep breath, not looking at my family below and then fell. I didn't jump, because I couldn't, I just lent forward and then let the wind take me.

Downwards.

_1_

_2_

_Screaming?_

_3_

_4_

_More screaming? Who was screaming?_

_5_

_6_

_Me, it was me who was screaming? _

_The wind was fast against my face, the ocean air fresh._

_7_

_8_

_I could hear laughing now. I was laughing! Because this, this was fun!_

_9_

_10_

It seemed longer when it was me than when Emmett had jumped.

But soon, I felt the stinging sensation of the water against my body and soon I was in the deep ocean. I opened my eyes, ignoring the salty pain and breathed in, making myself choke on the water, when I found myself staring at a rock, that I was going toward.

I tried to swim backwards, but couldn't stop the building memento behind me, and smacked against it.

Ow.

My head hurt now.

How come the water was red? Oh wait, that's not water, that's my blood.

Well crap.

I swam upward, ignoring the building red around me and once I broke through the water, breathed in the air and relief along with it.

I waved at them, feeling my legs weaken. Why was I always hurt?

They waved back, obviously think I was having fun. But I wasn't. It was really... really painful.

Pushing the pain behind me, like I had so many times before, I began to dog paddle toward the shore. But the sky had gotten dark and the wind sped up, causing wave after wave to come after me.

About 2 minutes of me swimming, they seemed to realise I needed help and I briefly saw Edward run into the water, Emmett right behind him.

I kept swimming though, but the water began to feel warm and welcoming, asking me nicely to stop kicking it. I didn't want to hurt it, so why was I kicking? Oh yeah, it was keeping me afloat. But it seemed to be hurting the water.

"BELLA!" I heard someone say, or was it the water? I don't know! My head hurt though.

I felt arms around me and I instantly stopped my kicking. Firstly, because someone had me, and secondly, I think the water just called my name.

"I'm sorry wat-ah" I heard myself mumble as I was brought toward the shore. Or out to ocean, either one.

"Bella, Bella, open your eyes, please" I heard someone say, Carlisle? My father was here?  
"Da" I choked as water came out of me. "Dad!" I screamed as I saw his face close to mine.

He chuckled "You weren't breathing..." He stated, wiping his face and then began to dab at my head.

I could hear laughing.

"Shut up" I whispered before groaning "That was the stupidest thing I have ever done" I said angrily.

"But was it fun?" Emmett asked, kneeling beside me.

I nodded, earning a 'stay still' from Carlisle. I was happy, it was fun, and it had made me very proud, to be able to do something my father had said I couldn't.

"Yeah, Yeah it was" I said to Emmett, grinning like an idiot as Carlisle picked me up to take me inside.  
Emmett reached out his knuckles and I hit his with mine. "Awesome"

I saw Edward behind Carlisle and waved slightly, worried he regretted kissing me. He smiled back and waved.

That eased my mind and as I closed my mind, imagined his lips on mine once more.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter twenty three

The next day was left for free time, or in Rose, Ali and my position, planning. We had to plan Esme and Carlisle's renewal of their vowels. It was pretty hectic. We had physically locked the parents out of my room and made a promise that we had to get everything finished by today. So far, it was good. They said that we had to have god's will if we managed to get there parents to come, so we tried and with a littler persuading, managed to get both of their parents to come. It was good, that they were comming.

...

"Okay so that's that, right?" Rose asked, cleaning up the papers.

I went through our check list and nodded "Yeah, I think so" We had finally completed all the planning.

It was 5.26pm. Alice was lying on my bed watching the TV and Brandon was in the bath, I could hear him from here because the bathroom door was open. He was singing rub a dub dub, three men in a tub. But that was the only line he knew, I actually didn't know it either, so he just kept singing that.

"Brandon, it's time to get out" I called, helping Rose clean up everything.

"NOOOO" He screamed, I could hear splashing. He hated getting out of the bath.

During our struggle, I managed to get soaking wet and he was out of the bath, but still naked and now running out of the room.

"Come back Brandon!" I shouted running after him. He had this love of running naked right after the bath.

He passed Edward and Jasper in Jasper's room; I think they were looking to order Esme and Carlisle's presents online. They both glanced up and then back down to the computer, this was rather normal, Brandon running down naked.

Emmett was at the stairs and my source of help. "Emmett, catch him!" I shouted angrily as Brandon went to run through his legs.

Emmett laughed and closed his knees on him, trapping my boy.

I thanked Emmett and picked up Brandon, hanging him upside down and began to walk back to my room.

"You shall never beat me little boy" I said as I dropped him on the bed and began to wrestle him into his pyjamas.

...

We were having a movie night again tonight, it was becoming a tradition, I put Brandon to bed, then came down and bam! There they all are, sprawled out on the couch. I took my place next to Alice and Edward.

Alice laid down and put her head in my lap while I leant on Edward's side a bit. He smiled at me and leant his own head on mine.

After the movie we all went to our respective bedrooms and before I went to sleep I pulled out my phone, checking the calendar in it.

I had completely forgotten but this day always brings back the memories, of everything, but the worst time, is when I sleep. I swallowed back the fear as laid my head down, tears falling into my pillow. 6th of July: the day when my father decided to change our lives forever, the day I saw all the blood.

...

"_BELLA!" I heard someone call for me, several people actually. I went in search for them, running down the hallway, looking desperately for a door to these voices._

_Finally, I reached the door at the end and flung it open, revealing my whole family. The family I loved. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Edward, Jasper, Rose, Alice and Brandon, they were all there, all crying for me. "Help us!" They all yelled at me, blood pouring from their mouth as they spoke._

_I cried for them, I screamed and tried to help, but I was frozen at the floor, Frozen in fear._

_Then, someone came out behind them, someone I dreaded._

"_Isabella, I knew you would come. I knew you couldn't keep away from me" He sneered at me. His face wasn't visible from the shadows and I couldn't recognise his voice._

"_Bella don't you know me?" He said, coming forward and into the light._

_My father, he stood there, blood on his white work shirt and knife in hand, smiling evilly._

"_Dad" I whispered, tears falling quicker._

_He laughed and as he laughed his voice changed "Oh no Bella, no no no... I am not your father" He laughed again before turning around. His hair seemed to grow, his body changed shape and soon, he was laughing differently._

_He turned back around and smiled._

_He definitely wasn't my father any more; instead he had long brown hair, brown eyes, and pick cheeks. He was a She. And she was me!_

_He laughed again and then whispered evilly "I'm not your father... No, I'm you"_

_I screamed._

"Mama?" I heard a frantic voice squeak, mixed in with other callings of my name.

"Quick, someone go get Dad!" I heard being yelled above the noise.

No... Please not Dad.

I felt hands on my shoulders and arms, pushing me back and I feared that they were going to hurt me... or that Dad was going to come and kill me just like he had to the Cullen's.

"Please don't" I cried.

"Guys, let her go" I heard a man's voice say. "It's making it worse"

"Bella, you're safe. It's Carlisle"

Carlisle... his name sounded familiar...

"Dad, what's happening?" A voice said again.

Dad, no not dad!

"Its Carlisle Bella, your safe, please calm down honey"

No, wait, Dad... Carlisle is my dad!

"Da" I mumbled, letting my body relax.

"What happened?" Emmett asked and I briefly saw him in the doorway.

"Bad Dreams" I muttered, leaning my head on Carlisle's shoulder.

He checked my temperature "Are you okay?" He asked.

I nodded and soon they had all left me to get back to sleep. But I couldn't, I was too scared to... so I read.

...

The dream made me realise... I may be hiding it; I may be suppressing the memories and feelings. But the thoughts, feelings, pains there all there... on the surface but underneath the small layer of happiness... ready to just break out and hurt me more than before.

It scared me.

A lot.

**Yes it's a short chapter. Yes it's not the best. But I wanted to finally get something out.**

**I had a rough few weeks, my birthday – (which was awesome, I am now a legal adult in my country), exams and the GAT (this weird thing us Aussie kids have to do for school... stands for: Generalised achievement test... or something ;) ) and now I've gotten sick and shin splints. Wooh!**

**Bexta 03**


	24. Chapter 24

**Dear readers,**

**Thank you for all the birthday wishes and get betters, it made me feel better ****! I shall begin updating again, hopefully, because all your loverly reviews have made me more motivated... but it will still be random updates due to MORE exams coming up in about two weeks... yay!**

**So, now without further procrastination (which I have learnt while attempting to study for exams, I am good at) I give you chapter twenty four.**

**P.S: As I write this, I actually have no voice... at all.**

**P.P.S: I just changed the part in the previous chapter where Esme and Carlisle's parents weren't coming; to that they will be coming. (any confusions, pm me and I'll clear it all up)**

**...**

Chapter twenty four

It was finally Esme and Carlisle's day to renew their vowels. To say that the morning was interesting is an understatement. It was hectic.

"Bella, wake up!" Esme said, coming straight into my room. "What do I do? What do I wear? When are the flowers coming? Is someone doing the decorating? Bella! What is going on?" she said frantically.

I rubbed my eyes and checked the clock, 5.58. "Oh Esme, go back to bed. We have everything planned. Alice and I warned you. You and Carlisle are to stay in your house until 2pm when we will come and get Carlisle and then we'll help you get ready. Trust us" I said sternly, leaning up and kissing her cheek. I flopped back onto the bed "Now, back to bed" I mumbled, rolling over.

I heard the door close and I immediately went back to sleep, only to be woken up in the next half hour. The alarm went off at 6.30.

I got up now though and hoped into the shower. It felt really good.

Once I made my way downstairs, Emmett and Brandon were reading on the couch, one of Rosalie's car magazines. "You guys are up early" I commented, kissing both of their cheeks.

"I went for a run, knowing today is going to be pretty stressful... It's calming." He explained "Then I heard Brandon up and decided to let you get the extra few minutes. I met mum on the way back into the house after running, she looked worried" He laughed.

"She's just panicking; it's like... her second wedding... kind of... and she's worrying" I explained. "Have you had breakfast Brandon?" I asked.

He nodded and pointed to the table, where a chocolate bar wrapper was.

"Emmett! That's not what's meant for breakfast!" I complained, hitting his head.

He just shrugged "He ate it"

I went into the kitchen and made Brandon toast, which he took gratefully, and then ate some myself. Once that was done, I knew in about 20mins, flowers and the dresses and suits for all of us that I ordered should be arriving. Hope fully. I had asked Esme whether she wanted to hire or buy the dresses, she told me buy, so we got to keep them. They were awesome.

We had all gotten them presents as well. And besides some random object, we got them something to remind them of us and thank them for taking us all in. I'm praying they like mine and Brandon's gift.

2 hours later, the backyard had been decorated. Jasper and Brandon had gone over to Esme and Carlisle's house to stop them from looking out the windows. It was looking really good.

Everything was covered with flowers and then to the right was a big board covered of photos of them and us and then more of them. There was an arch where they would stand and then a few chairs for us to watch.

"It looks awesome" Rose commented as she stood beside me, brushing her hands together as if she had just done a lot of work. But the truth was that we had made the boys do all the lifting.

We all went back inside after finishing setting up and Rose, Alice, Edward and I all began to cook the big meal we will be having tonight.

The preparation and cooking all took another 2 hours and soon, we were pretty tired. Emmett left to pick up their parents and we all took that time to clean hastily, knowing Esme would want to make a good impression.

They didn't know they were coming, we wanted to it be a surprise. So hopefully, all this turns out well and doesn't end up being a horrible mistake with tears and yelling by family members.

Once we were done, Emmett returned and brought in the grandparents, all four suitcases in his arms.

He passed me with a frown "Good luck" He mouthed before heading upstairs to Brandon and Alice's room, where they are staying. Brandon and Alice will momentarily be sharing with me. I didn't mind.

"Hi, welcome. I'm Bella, I spoke to you on the phone" I said, sticking out my hand.

The woman, who must have been in her late 50's smirked at me before taking my hand quickly. "Good afternoon" She said sullenly.

The man next to her took her arm and smiled at me "Where Mr. And Mrs. Platt, Esme's parents." He introduced.

I shook his hand and then turned to the other couple, the ones who were looked slightly off,

"I'm Mr. Cullen, and this is Mrs. Cullen, Carlisle's parents" Mr. Cullen, I assume, said roughly.

I swallowed heavily and shook their hands. Where were my siblings! Finally, after a few moments of awkward silence, my little Brandon came wondering in. And at the sight of new people, he quickly ran to me and hid behind my legs.

"Oh and who is this?" Mrs. Platt asked warmly, her sour mood changed.

"Did Esme and Carlisle finally decide to have a child together?" Mr. Cullen muttered, but I heard him.

I smiled and picked him up "No, this is Brandon. He's mine"

There shocked looks were ones I didn't expect, but should have. "He's yours?" Mrs. Platt said amazed, emphasising the 'yours'.

"Yes, he is, he's 2 years old, almost 3" I said politely, pleaded for someone to come in.

"But, you're only like, 15!" Mr. Platt said.

Thank god! Edward decided to come in at that moment. "Mr. and Mrs. Platt! Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, it's really good to see you" he said, coming over to shake their hands. I'm Edward"

"Ah... One of the first boys to be adopted" Mrs Platt commented.

Edward nodded, smiling down at Brandon that was hiding in my hair.

"Would you like us to show you to your rooms so you can have a relax or a shower, that plane ride can be pretty long sometimes"

They accepted his offer and I followed Edward to show them there rooms.

"If you need anything, just let me know" I said leaving the hall way and sitting down in the counter seats in the kitchen. "Oh my! What have we gotten ourselves into?"

Edward laughed "I know yeah? I can probably guess that was most likely their best behaviour"

It was about 1.30 so we decided to let Esme and Carlisle meet there parents so that then we can separate the girls and guys.

"Oh I'm so excited!" Alice chirped.

Mr. Cullen laughed "Prepare to be disappointed, I'm not sure they'll like us here"

I frowned "How come?"

Mrs. Platt laughed "Oh, you'll most likely see"

I swallowed the fear of messing this all up and went to get Carlisle and Esme.

When they got outside, I took their hands and made them promise to close their eyes; they did so and let me lead them, with Rose's help, to their parents.

I positioned them in front of the others and then told them to open there eyes, when they did, they gasped.

Esme's eyes filled with tears and Carlisles eyes were guarded.

"Mother, Father, it's really good to see you" Carlisle greeted, shaking their hands and kissing his mothers cheek. It was oddly, formal.

Esme didn't move though, "Mum?" I whispered, standing closer to her.

Her eyes rested on mine and smiled "You did this?"

I nodded, unsure whether she was angry or not.

"How did you manage to get them here?" She asked

I was going to answer, but was interrupted by Mr. Platt.

"She did not bribe us, if that is what you are insisting Esme, we came here because we wanted to see you"

Anger filled her face "If you had of wanted to see me, why didn't you let me know. You know I would have come and visited you"

Her mother came forward and I stepped back, not wanting to interrupt them. "Honey, we've been very busy, where sorry. Let us just be happy for now, for you two, we want to try and make up with you... we want to be here for you when once we weren't"

Esme sniffed but nodded before turning and hugging her mother. I blinked, wondering why they were angry at each other in the first place.

Once she let go of her mother she hugged her father and then Carlisle's parents before kissing my cheek and whispering a quick thank you.

We eventually got all the girls over in our house and the boys went into Carlisle and Esme's house, Edward on strict instructions to get them all ready and that I would be over at 4.30 to check on them.

We spent the entire few hours laughing, drinking (some of us), and getting ready. Esme looked amazing, she wore a cream dress and then we girls all wore black dresses, so she would stand out more. She continually thanked us all over and over.

The parents and their parents had all gotten over there strange welcoming and by the time we had finished gotten ready, they were all laughing together.

I was thankful it was turning out well.

It was becoming to be more like a wedding night again, but I think that's what she wanted.

**Okay, quick chappy again but I wanted to get it out to let you all know I haven't left. Im just in the middle of exams and am really rushed for time.**

**Hope you like it, next chapter is the renewal. I don't know how those things work, so I'm just making it all up, I've made it basically just like a party but more structured... if that makes any sense.**

**Hope you enjoyed.**

**Will be writing again soon, right after next Tuesday finishes. (Last exam)**


	25. Chapter 25

**Dear readers, if I have any anymore,**

**I apologise for the enormous absence of updates. I got really distracted and began writing for this other series. **

**But although I cannot promise I'm going to be updating more regularly, I can provide you with this chapter, that I wrote out of spontaneous inspiration after re-reading this story. It made me miss it, despite my growing boredom of Twilight (Although, I do get bored easily and then re-interested, so perhaps I shall grow to become in love with the series once more)**

**Anyway, a chapter is a chapter, despite my level of love for the books, and here it is. **

**Please review; let me know what you all think about it and some ideas on where you want to go with this story. I'm sure I once had a plan, but since it's been so long since I actually wrote for this, I've kind of forgotten where I wanted to head with it.**

Chapter twenty-five

We were all in place, meaning we were all sitting in the small gathering of chairs, their parents in the front row. I stood and left to go get Esme as I made sure Carlisle was standing happily in his assigned spot, near the arch of flowers. We didn't end up having a priest person, instead, they were just going to say a few things and then we were all going to sit down for dinner.

I wasn't sure how Carlisle was getting along with his parents, since I spent most of the day with Esme and the girls, but according to Edward, who had stopped me to tell me this, there was some form of trouble brewing between them.

It was odd, seeing Carlisle, the strong leader of this family; almost shrink in his parents gaze.

I made it to the house and was met with a very excited Esme almost jumping. I could really see where Alice picked up her bouncy personality. "You ready?" I asked her, brushing a hair behind her ear and making sure she looked perfect.

"Oh yes!" She said happily "And thank you Bella, for all of this... really... my parents and Carlisle's parents. Oh dear! I wonder how those three are getting along"

"Yeah, what's up with that?" I questioned as we made our way to the door.

She waved it off, telling me that it was history and that his parents needed to grow up. I told her to come out when she was ready and made my way and sat down next to Rose and Alice, Brandon sitting happily with Jasper.

Carlisle had grinned at me as I sat but now, his attention moved to the door, where Esme was exciting. She slowly made her way out, looking around in awe as she took in everything we had done. Edward had a video camera set up, and was filming her reaction.

Brandon climbed off Jasper and came to me, getting me to pick him up. "Grandma looks pretty!" He said slightly too loud.

Esme shot him a smile and then continued on her way to Carlisle, who happy embraced her in his arms. I heard him whisper how beautiful she looked.

They both held hands and stared at one another, smiling happily.

"We wanted to do this, today, because we felt our family was now complete, with Rose and Jasper recently added, and we feel now more than ever, that the gap we once had was filled" Carlisle said, smiling at each of us. "So we wanted to show you children, the love we share for each other and yourselves, and to show you that we as a family, can be strong and happy"

"Carlisle married me on the 4th of October, many years ago" She laughed at the year's part, not mentioning the actual year "And it was the best night of my life. I said then that I had met the man of my dreams and that thought hasn't changed at all. Even if there is that rare occasion we disagree with each other"

I heard Emmett scoff and whisper "When has that happened?"

"I agree Emmett" Carlisle said "You may have never seen it, but we, as any couple, have had small fights. There was once an argument over whether or not we should let you play rugby (football). I said you should, since it was what you wanted and would show you commitment. But Esme was slightly against it, she was worried about your safety"

"My safety?" Emmett laughed.

"Yes. And she had a good reason to. You've broken many bones playing that sport" He said with a grin "But we did have an argument over it and eventually, came to the agreement that you were allowed, but on one condition. Esme was allowed to buy you as much protective gear as she could fit onto your body"

We all laughed at the thought.

"But even though we have had our fights, and once I even slept on the study's couch!" Carlisle admitted "We've always returned to each other with an apology, and in my case, a box of chocolates and some flowers"

Esme blushed "I could never stay mad when he turned up with that combination!"

"I think our strength as a couple has grown so much, that we argue now and just accept that we are arguing and that we will work it out, never really getting mad at each other" He said happily.

Esme smiled at him and then removed her hands "I had to write down exactly what I wanted to say, because I'm not good when put on the spot" She admitted, taking out a piece of paper. "Carlisle Cullen, you have made me so happy and provided for me ever since we met. We've been through our ups and downs, some really bad downs and some really good ups. You made me see the light in what we experienced and you made me smile through my tears. When we lost Henry, and I was told we couldn't have any more children, you held me while I cried and never once, let on that you were hurting too. You didn't want me to have to deal with your pain as well. But when you broke down I knew that you really did love me, because I knew that you had not let anyone else see that side of you. I felt honoured.

We lived through that rocky path, and eventually, made the decision to adopt. And it has been a decision that I have not regretted once. Carlisle has made my life perfect and it is today, while we renew our love, that has made me realise, I am truly, living a dream"

She smiled and then turned to Carlisle, who brought out his own piece of paper. "I didn't know exactly what to say, that I haven't been saying to her every day we spend together. So instead, I have a poem I'd like to read for her." He let out a breath.

"Our love is like a lovely bridge  
Between your heart and mine  
A bridge we've built down through the years  
Just to our own design.

It's based on happy memories  
Of the good times that we've known  
The hopes and dreams we two have shared  
The thoughtfulness you've shown.

It's stronger now than ever  
For its grown with every smile  
And every act of kindness  
That makes life seem more worthwhile.

And now I know that, if you're near  
Or if we're miles apart  
Our love still unites us  
With a bridge from heart to heart."

All the girls had tears in their eyes as Carlisle and Esme kissed.

Once they turned to us, beaming, I lead everyone to the dining table in our house so we could eat.

"We didn't say for you to make dinner too" Esme said surprised as Edward and Jasper and I began bringing out dishes of food.

We all ate happily, talking between each other.

Soon, I stood, since everyone had finished eating. "Before we have desert, and give us time to digest a bit, we've organised for some presents!" I announced, giving cue for everyone to rush off and get their gifts. I nudged Brandon "Go get it honey, remember where it is?"

"Yes!" he shouted, excited and ran off.

"It's to show our appreciation, for what you've both done"

"Damn right you should be thankful" Mr. Cullen said suddenly "My boy has given you kids a home over your head and food on your plate. If anything, you should be kissing his feet"

I stared at him, shocked.

"And not only did he take in you, but your baby as well!" He continued, pointing at me, since everyone else had gone to get there gifts.

"Dad" Carlisle started.

But his mother held up a hand "I've had a problem with you, I saw you using a card to pay those delivery men, whose card is that? And how dare you just spend my son's money"

"Mum!" Carlisle said angry now.

But still they continued "And then you flaunt your connection with your son knowing full well my own son will never have kids because he married a woman who kills her own son and then can't have anymore"

That snapped Carlisle's patients. He jumped up and pointed to the door. "Leave" He shouted. He glanced at Esme, who was staring in shock. "Jasper, Edward" he said, looking at everyone who was now in the doorway "Please get my parents bags and meet them at the door. They have to go home now"

"You can't make us go anywhere" Mr. Cullen said.

"Yes I can. This is my home Dad, I live here. This is my family. My wife. My life. If you are not understanding of what we have here then I don't want you around. Leave, I will call the boats and get them to pick you up." He said, walking to the kitchen to get the phone.

Mr. And Mrs. Cullen stood there for a bit, before turning to me "This is your fault" They said angrily.

I frowned "How is it my fault you couldn't keep your mouth shut and hurt his and Esme's feelings. I hardly see that as my fault" I said angrily. "And I can't believe you can't see past your own selfishness nad realise that what he has here is what he wants. He's made the best of the situation he was put in and is happy. Why can't you be happy he's happy? Maybe you could be... if you knew him"

His father scoffed and walked off, but his mother came around to my side of the table and stood in front of me. "How dare you say we don't know him"

"You don't" I said "You don't know his children's names. You don't know what he does on weekends. You don't know how respected he is at his work and home. You don't know how much this meant to him. Perhaps if you did, you would have acted differently. But the fact is, you don't know him..."

"You have ruined our chance at mending the relationship with him" She said angrily.

I shook my head slowly "No Mrs. Cullen, I believe you did that yourself"

Suddenly, she slapped me.

Several people gasped and my head went to the side, able to see Esme being comforted by her parents, Rose and Alice.

I turned back to Carlisle's mother. "I don't know how someone so great as Carlisle managed to come from you" I sneered. "Hit me again, and I will press charges"

She raised her hand but pulled it back down, spinning on her toes and then walking out of the room.

"Bitch" I heard one of the boys whisper.

And I couldn't scold them for the language near my boy, because I agreed.


	26. Chapter 26

**Okay guys; I've put below the families ages, since it's been a while and I began to wonder how old my characters were. And if I'm forgetting their ages then I wouldn't expect you to!**

**Brandon is about 3**

**Bella, Edward, Jasper and Rose are all about 17 years old. **

**Alice is 12**

**Emmett is 19 years old.**

Chapter twenty six

I watched Mrs. Cullen leave; silently wishing I could tackle her from behind.

But she stopped and turned around, "You're not good enough for my boy" She said to Esme. Who let out a small gasp.

I heard Emmett and Edward begin to argue, even Rose started shouting.

I took a step forward "Listen here!" I began.

But she left, ignoring everyone.

I turned to Esme, who had stood and begun to approach me, tears slowly forming in her own eyes. She took my face in her hands and examined my cheek. "Oh Bella!" She gasped and then pulled me to her for a hug "I'm sorry"

I shrugged "I've had worse, don't think about it" I told her, pulling her away so I could look at her "Are you okay?" I asked, using a finger to wipe away one of her tears. Nothing hurt you more than seeing someone such as Esme cry.

She smiled sadly "I'll be alright"

Esme's parents had apparently gone out to the kitchen and came back in "Esme, where going to go okay, get the boat with Carlisle's parents, we want you to have some time with your family"

"Oh you don't have to go" She said quickly.

"No honey, we know you... you'll want some time with the kids and Carlisle"

Esme smiled, keeping on arm around my waist "Thank you, for coming and well, for understanding"

They both kissed and hugged each of us before following Carlisle out to the deck. He looked furious, grabbing the bags from the boys and heading to where the boat would be. I've never seen him so angry.

"Let's go to the lounge" I announced after a few moments of silence.

Esme let out a breath and took Alice's hand, leading her into the lounge. I stayed back and began to clean the table, the boys left for the lounge but Rose stayed to help.

Carlisle came back in just as we finished cleaning; he came straight over to me and pulled me into a hug. "Are you okay?" He asked "I went out and heard her saying some things about you"

"I'm okay, really..." I said as he tightened his arms around me "I'm fine" I assured him. "Esme's upset though, I think"

He nodded and let me go, going to the lounge room to find Esme.

"Are we still going to do presents?" Rose asked quietly as we stared silently at the room.

I nodded "Perhaps we can save the night" I told her, grabbing my present Brandon had left on the steps and followed Rose into the living room.

"Okay guys, let's salvage!" I announced, moving to sit next to Esme. "Who's first?"

"Guys, Carlisle and I, we might just go to bed..." Esme began but I held up a hand.

"Listen, we spent a good amount of time working to make this perfect, and we screwed it up." I said, fighting back guilt and regret for ever making those phone calls "So, we shall cover you in company, love and presents until you forget they ever came" I concluded, wrapping my arms around Esme and kissing her cheek several times.

She laughed and rested her head on my shoulder "We don't blame you"

"My parents have never been very supportive, they've always wanted me to have biological kids, but since we can't, I've never giving it a second thought" Carlisle said sadly.

"You had a child?" Rose whispered cautiously, she had Brandon on her lap and held him in a hug.

Carlisle wrapped his arm around Esme and smiled. He, Esme and I were on one couch, Edward, Emmett and Alice were on another, Jasper was leaning against that couch and Rose and Brandon were curled up in an armchair. "Henry Louis Cullen, he was our son."

I frowned sadly, glancing at Brandon.

"He died during birth" Esme said quietly "And I got hurt that I wasn't able to have any more children"

I hugged her side sadly.

I saw even Carlisle wipe his eyes slightly.

"But that was more than 12 years ago" He said sadly.

We were all silent for a moment, thinking hard.

I sent a little prayer up for Henry.

"Mum, Dad, the boys, so myself, Jasper and Emmett picked this out for you" Edward said, breaking the silence.

"I'm a boy!" Brandon said loudly.

Edward chuckled "and apparently Brandon"

Carlisle handed it to Esme to open it and she smiled as she opened the envelop it was in. I knew what it was, since Edward had asked for my opinion. "Oh Carlisle!" She said happily, handing him the voucher for a family photography session.

They thanked the boys over and over. Rose and Alice then handed them there present. They gave them some concert tickets and a voucher that said 'Bella will babysit' which caused me to frown.

Then, Brandon, who knew it was our turn, grabbed the present from my hands and then gave it happily to Esme. He then climbed up between Esme and Carlisle to help them open it.

Esme took the paper off and I saw tears begin to form. I had made them a scrap book.

On the cover it read 'Our Family'.

First page had Carlisle and Esme. Next page had Emmett growing up. Then Edward growing up. Then Alice growing up. Then it had a copy of the photo of me, Alice and my mother, since it was the only one of me as a child, and then some of me since I'd been here. Then it had Brandon growing up. The last two pages had Rose and Jasper, a few photos that they had from when they were little.

"Oh wow" Esme whispered, passing the other pages that had lots of photos of all of us. "It's beautiful"

She leant over and kissed Brandon before turning and kissing me. "Thankyou" She whispered in my ear.

We all sat around in our dresses and suits in the lounge, talking and laughing. "Dessert!" I announced happily.

Heading into the kitchen, Esme followed me.

"Bella, I just want to thank you, it really was great" She assured me.

I smiled, knowing she was trying to make me feel better, but I could see her pain. "You want to talk about it?"

She shook her head "No, I'm fine Bella, don't worry about it"

I took her face between my hands, looking into her eyes, raising an eyebrow "Mum?"

"Really Bella, she's said those things before"

"Bitch" I hissed angrily.

Esme laughed "Don't swear" She scolded.

I took out the dessert and some plates, beginning to cut the cake here and putting it on pates rather than taking everything out to the living room. "She's wrong you know" I told Esme as I cut the cakes.

"About what in particular?" Esme asked, pulling out forks.

"You're good for him. I don't think he'd be able to find anyone better"

"Oh Bella, I told you not to worry about that"

"Bella's right Esme" Carlisle said by the door. When had he come? "If anything, you're too good for me"

I smiled at them both, taking in three of the plates with me. I handed them to the boys, who looked the most hopeful, before heading back for more. Once we all had some, I sat down and shared mine with Brandon.

We all finished the dessert and talking and laughing by about 11pm. I'm not sure where all the time went, but it went and Brandon was sleeping in the bean bag.

"Time for bed" I told everyone, gently picking up Brandon "I'll come back down to say goodnight"

Once Brandon was tucked in bed, I came downstairs to find Carlisle and Esme getting ready to go next door. Esme came up to me first. "Thank you Bella, really." She said as she wrapped her arms around me. "It was the best it could have been"

I smiled into her shoulder.

Carlisle hugged me next, apologising for his parent's behaviour. When he pulled away, he saw my cheek and the slight bruise that had formed. "What happened?" He asked surprised.

I shrugged "it's nothing..."

"Your mum hit her" Alice pointed out while standing near the stairs, waiting for them to leave to go to bed.

Carlisle stared at me for a long time. During that time, flashes of emotions I have never seen on his face came. He was first worried, then ashamed and then furious. "I am so, so sorry" He said, lifting my chin to get a better look at my cheek. "I promised that you had gotten away from all that and here you are, still being hit..."

"Dad, please, its fine... it's not like you hit me"

"It might as well of been" He said angrily. He wasn't angry at me. He was angry at himself.

I shook my head and took his hands "I have never been safer anywhere in my life. Please don't begin to doubt yourself now. Do not end what I and what everyone else has here"

Esme appeared by his side, rubbing his back comfortingly.

Carlisle looked like he was going to cry.

"I don't blame you" I whispered, moving to hug him again. "You're my favourite father, please don't forget"

He unfroze and hugged me back, unable to say anything.

Once the parents had left, after a few more goodbyes, we all trudged upstairs and parted to the different rooms.

I fell asleep immediately, happy to be safe in my warm bed. We only had 3 more days here on Esme's Island, and I wanted to make use of being away from the world while I had the chance.

**Please review. Let me know what you think should happen with this story... I'm at a loss as to where to go**


	27. Chapter 27

**Please read:**

**I just want to let everyone know that nothing like this has ever happened to me. I'm not writing from experience or knowing what it's like to go through the things Bella has gone through. So please forgive me if I do upset anyone with the way my story goes. But it's simply imagination and well; fiction. Since it's written for a 'fan fiction' site. So, I apologise to anyone who may be hurt or annoyed that certain events that happen to Bella (or the other characters) or how she deals with it is not how it would go normally... but it's an imaginary piece, made up by me without any research. And I do not plan to research. I don't have enough time to. So it shall continue this way and if you're upset with how things go, don't read. **

**Thanks.**

Chapter twenty seven

I had planned on having a good, deep sleep. But I was woken by a terrified scream from the room across the hall.

I bolted out of my own bed and threw open the door to see a light coming from Jaspers room with Emmett running down the stairs and Edward, Alice and Rose all standing worriedly in the doorway. I approached carefully "What's happening" I asked.

Rose turned to me, her eyes full of worry and sadness "Help him" She begged me.

I frowned, moving closer and peering into the room. Jasper was no longer screaming as loudly, but he had his hands clenched in his hair and his eyes were closed tight, but his cheeks had streaks of tears. He was still in bed but was sitting up rocking back and forth.

Nightmares

I remember having nightmares myself. I remember those nights where I actually had to stuff the edge of my blanket in my mouth to stop myself from screaming from so much fear because the source of my fear was in the next room. I remember curling up into a ball and clutching myself, wishing with everything I had that I could be held.

I knew what he needed immediately, knowing what I needed but didn't get. But Jasper, he could get this. "Get Dad" I told Rose first before approaching the bed. If this didn't work, then having Dad here would be the backup.

She told me that Emmett had already gone to get him before I left my spot in the doorway and climbed up onto his bed, moving behind him and wrapping my arms around his chest. He stiffened first before leaning into me, relaxing slightly. I moved my hands to take his, gently pulling them out of his and placing them on his chest, so I could still hold him but stop him from hurting himself.

Soon, he had stopped whimpering and rocking back and forth, leaning completely into me.

I looked up to see Carlisle and Esme now in the doorway.

"You Okay?" Carlisle asked quietly.

I nodded "Maybe leave, I would have hated it to realise so many people are watching" I whispered back.

Carlisle nodded, ushering everyone out and then closing the door gently.

I continued to sit with Jasper for a few minutes before he began to pull away. He seemed in control now so I let him go and sat back, waiting for him to realise what had happened.

He turned, looking at me with his eyes wide and sad. His cheeks still wet with tears. "Bella" He whispered "What happened?"

"Nightmares" I told him "You were hurting yourself" I touched his arms, where there were fresh scratch marks that must have happened before I reached him.

He ran his hands over his arms, wincing. "Who saw?" He asked, nervously glancing at the door.

"They all did, but they won't mention it" I said honestly.

"How did you know what to do?" He mumbled.

I leant back in his pillows, pulling my legs up to my chest. "I had nightmares too and I remember just wanted to be held" I said quietly. "So I just did what I thought would have helped me... you know?"

He smiled, moving to sit beside me. "Thank you Bella, for helping..."

"You're welcome Jazz, I'm glad to help" I said as I moved to get off the bed.

He frowned though "Don't you get annoyed at being able to help everyone but never having anyone to have helped you?"

I shrugged "My situation was different. I didn't have Carlisle or Esme to help me after it happened and it was only months later did I come here. I came here after I had pushed all those feelings deep down and had done so for so long that I've learnt to just deal with it alone. I had to, as a child, to hide the pain. I had to so I would survive." I saying this casually, but deep down, it was hurting. I didn't want to bring all this up. "You're still learning Jasper. Despite how quiet you've been about the whole thing, I know you're still learning how to cope and your still hurting inside"

He was staring at his hands in thought, so I continued off the bed and began to make my way to the door. "You're okay now, yeah?" I asked.

He nodded "I'll see you in the morning" He said quietly.

I was about to close the door when he spoke again "I'm sorry Bella, about what happened to you. I feel so sad for myself and what happened to me and Rose but then I think of all the things you've been through and then feel guilty for ever thinking that I had it rough. No one deserves your childhood. Especially you"

I smiled at him "Don't think about me Jasper, I've put it behind me"

"No. You've hidden it. It's still there"

I frowned, slightly uncomfortable about how this was turning out. "I thought we were comforting you, not talking about me. I'm fine Jasper. Goodnight" I said, ending it quickly.

I climbed back into bed, after checking on Brandon who slept through the whole thing, now having my own feelings mixed. I didn't want to think about all the things I had locked away deep down. But Jasper had a point. They were still there. Still very much inside me.

I just hoped they would never surface.

...

The next day we were all spending a lazy afternoon on the beach. Emmett, Edward, Jasper, Brandon and Alice were all swimming. I was lying on the beach towel. Carlisle was doing some paper work beside me on his own towel and Rose and Esme were cooking inside. It was peaceful, having the boys and Alice laughing from the water, Carlisle's random mutterings and the music from inside playing softly.

"Bella, what you did last night" Carlisle said, making me turn to see him put down his pen. "Your really good with comforting and understanding people... have you ever thought of doing something like that as a career?"

"Like, a therapist?" I asked.

He nodded "Something like that"

I shook my head "I've never thought about what I've wanted to be. It's always been 'how do I survive tomorrow' or 'will I be around next year' and now its more just taking care of Brandon. I never thought I'd have the possibility."

"What about now? What do you see yourself doing?"

I thought about it, looking down the beach at Brandon who was on Jasper's shoulders "I see myself being the best mum I can be to Brandon. I see myself hopefully with someone who will accept him and me and all our flaws. As for a career, I suppose I'll do whatever I can to keep food on the table. I don't have a proper education so I most likely won't be able to get into a college and become something really productive. So I guess I'll stick to waiting tables or a call centre or something"

"Bella, you're our family now and if you want to go to College, we'll help you"

I shook my head sadly "No, I can't though. I've never been to school except this year. I taught myself to read and write so that's not great and as for maths, I wouldn't be able to do equations if my life depended on it. I'm not smart Carlisle, maybe smart from experience, but not the smart that is needed to get far in today's world"

Carlisle smiled "Who says you need to be book smart"

"How would I get even close to helping people?"

He chuckled and patted my knee "It helps that you have connections"

I frowned, raising an eyebrow "What are my connections?"

"Me" He said simply, turning back to his paper.

I laughed, agreeing that he would be a good connection if I wanted to help people.

I stood, brushing the sand off my legs and making my way down to the water. I stood at the edge of the ocean, watching the water flow over my feet before rushing back to the ocean, leaving my feet to sink into the wet sand.

"Want to walk with me?" Edward asked suddenly, standing beside me.

When did he come out of the water?

I shrugged, climbing out of my sand shoes that had begun to form and followed him down the beach, avoiding him as he shook his hair free of water.

We walked a bit down the beach before settling onto some rocks.

We stayed quiet for a while, my mind thinking back to the cliff dive and where he kissed me.

I knew I thought of him more than a friend.

Did he think of me like that?

"My mother told me once that she loved the ocean. That she wanted to build a boat and simply live on that in the ocean" I mumbled quietly. "I was 7 and it was only a few weeks before she was killed by my father"

"What did you say?"

"I asked when were we leaving"

He chuckled.

We were silent for a bit longer before he turned to me "I need to talk to you about something I've been feeling for a long time now"

I raised an eyebrow at him, sightly nervous.

But he seemed nervous as well... so did that make it okay?

"I wanted to tell you... or ask you... what did you think of that, you know, up there on the cliff..."

My mind immediately went back to the time on the cliff...

_He smiled again, leaning down. "You can do it" He whispered, before surprising me completely by pressing his lips against mine._

_My arms dropped from my sides, and I opened my mouth to kiss him back. He smiled against my lips before pulling away and then kissing me once more, on my forehead. "See you at the bottom...I'm waiting" He said quickly before taking a run and then jumping._

_I didn't see him hit the water, I heard it though. I didn't watch as he got to shore because I was too stunned. Edward just kissed me. Kissed __Me__. The broken, hurt, disturbed girl. Had finally been kissed, with permission... I felt like I was floating._

"What did I think of when we... kissed?" I asked nervously.

He nodded, looking at the ground.

"Well... what did you think of it?"

He blushed, still looking down "I liked it"

"So did I" I said quickly before I could back out of it.

He looked up at me in surprise, his eyes wide and unbelieving. "Really?"

I giggled, nodding, knowing my cheeks were pink with blush. "Really"

"So... you wouldn't be against me doing it again?" He hinted, stepping closer.

"Definately not" I whispered as he took another step closer until he was right by me.

His hand came under my chin and lifted my head up so he could reach me and then bent down, slowly. "I've wanted to do this for so long"

I was anxious, wondering whether this was a good thing to do. Starting this relationship. Would he hurt me? Would he hurt Brandon?

"What's wrong?" he asked, seeing my fear.

I shook my head "Don't hurt me okay?" I whispered, my own hands going and burying them in his hair.

"Never" He said huskily before placing his lips on mine.

I felt safe.

**Bella's getting confused. Is she free of her problems? What should she do with her life? Will Edward end up hurting her, just like everyone else?**

**Will she ever be happy?**

**Dun, Dun DAAAA! Stay tuned, for the next instalment of: **_**Hush Little Baby!**_

**Lol... **

**I'm really sorry about the no chapters for a really long time. I have my final exams (EVER!) in 4 weeks and its really starting to be scary... I don't want to do exams...**

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. I'm really lost as to where to go... so I'll just write what I think, I have an idea of what I can do... I think.**

**I hope ;)**

**Anyway, review, please, and I shall write more happily if you do. I want to get to 500 reviews soon!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Bexta**


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